To Be A Spartan: Short Stories
by Faldon113
Summary: A collection of short stories from my story To Be A Spartan. This story is now abandoned, but I am in the process of adding it to the new story which is called A Soldier's Heart, and will be posted shortly on Archive of Our Own.
1. Welcome Home

**Welcome Home**

Time: 2000\

May 05, 2542\

Earth

Sighing in frustration, Kaine tugged a hand through her hair, ruffling it out of the sleek perfection she'd spent hours gelling it into that morning. Being an ODST officer meant that she was routinely exposed the phenomenal human capacity to waste time while pretending to be productive, but these annual meetings took the cake. Not only did they force the young Lt. Colonel to return to Earth every single year, despite how the war was going or where else she was needed, the meetings also demanded that she rise at an ungodly time in the morning, look the very definition of perfection, and come to HQ to sit through literal _hours_ of people talking and no one listening. Not a single officer said anything new; everyone just summarized their official reports for the last year and regurgitated them in a way to make it sound as if accomplishments were being made. It was infuriating.

Truthfully, Eric was the one who was supposed to be coming back for these meetings, but he'd been banned after that year that he threatened to shoot an ONI Admiral. The Head of ONI, Admiral Parangosky, had said that his reaction was justified, but the rest of the UNSC high ranked officers had been hesitant to invite the older Faldon back. Thus, the duty had been passed to Kaine. She'd nearly strangled her adopted father herself when the order to report to meetings had come the first time. The very last thing she wanted was to be under ONI scrutiny once a year, every year. However, an order was an order, so she kept coming back. Nothing could make her happy about it though.

Once her hair was suitably mussed up, the redhead walked out of HQ, tugging her hat on the second her foot crossed the threshold. The sun had set a short time ago, staining the western sky pink while the eastern side was already a dark, fathomless blue. Regardless, the plaza was almost unbearably bright with artificial lights as people scurried about. Ignoring them all, Kaine made her way to the transport shuttle stop. She shared the space with a small number of people, but she still noticed that they were subtly keeping their distance from her. Earth was perhaps one of very few planets that treated ODST's with as much respect/fear as ONI. Usually it was a source of irritation for the officer, as she considered herself to be as normal a human as a Spartan could be. The only difference between herself and civilians was the uniform she wore. Despite that, when she was tired and numb with boredom, she couldn't be paid to care.

Running slightly behind schedule, the shuttle finally pulled into the stop. Politely waiting for passengers to disembark, Kaine was still the first to board the vehicle. It was rather full, as many civilians were just ending their work shift for the day. One open seat was beside an elderly man that had a couple bags full of flowers at his feet. He seemed to value his privacy, so the redhead quickly sat beside him. The odds of him starting a conversation and thus forcing her to observe the rules of polite civilization by replying were slim. In fact, if she was very lucky, he wouldn't notice if she caught a quick nap.

Once everyone was settled, the shuttle pulled away from the curb and resumed its route. For a few blessed moments, everything was silent. Then quiet conversations started, adding a low but tolerable hum to the sounds of travel. Closing her eyes in a pathetic attempt to rest, Kaine could only think longingly of her bed and returning to space the next day. She hated being away from the front lines. It always left a sour taste in her mouth, thinking about the men that were fighting and dying while she sat in an air conditioned room playing the ancient game of solitaire on her pad because it was the only thing to keep her sane and not going on a murderous rampage.

"Are you an ODST?" Cursing fluently in her mind, the redhead reluctantly opened her eyes and glanced at the man beside her. So much for him being a safe bet. However, a strange glint in his green eyes made her resist the urge to snarl.

"I am," she answered shortly, closing her eyes again. Maybe he would take the hint and leave her be.

"Been back on Earth long?" Then again, maybe not.

"Got back yesterday," she grunted, struggling and failing to keep the irritation out of her voice. Why hadn't they given the Spartans more advanced lessons on how to mask emotions in all situations? She could use them right about now! Learning how to get in and out of a heavily fortified base without detection was a wonderful skill, don't get her wrong, but what about getting in and out of conversations quickly? Couldn't there have been one damn lesson on that?!

"I see," he replied, giving her a small smile and completely unaware of her silent frustrated scream. "Will you be here long?"

"I leave again tomorrow," was her terse answer as she finally gave up trying to rest and gave him her 'not-glare' glare. For chocolate's sake, what would it take to make him shut up?! She just wanted to sleep, dammit! "I was only here for the annual meetings."

"Ah," he sighed, a hint of sadness appearing his eyes. "Well then, may I tell you something? Despite the short time you'll be spending here?" Thinking that he just might shut up if she agreed, Kaine nodded tightly. "Welcome home." Her eyes widened the tiniest margin in surprise, and he smiled very slightly when he caught it. "I try to say that to every soldier that comes back to Earth. Thank you for your service." Then he turned away, facing the front of the shuttle once more. For a few long seconds Kaine continued to stare at him, before slowly resettling herself and allowing her eyes to drift shut again. Just before they slid completely closed, she spotted the tattoo on his forearm. With an almost audible click, everything fell together in her mind, followed swiftly by the horrible, crushing sensation of guilt.

Decades before the war against the Insurrectionists, there had been a war on one of the planets Earth had colonized. The second largest colony at the time had fallen into chaos as the economy collapsed because of dictators. Thousands of soldiers had been sent to the planet in order to restore peace, most pulled from other colonies and worlds. It was a long war, leaving the world with scars that would never fully heal, but the humans suffered more than the land ever could.

The worst part of the war, though, was when it was over.

Ship after ship transported the soldiers home, but the reception they received was not what they had been expecting. Over the long years of war, public support had virtually vanished. Pictures of the horror and violence from the conflict had spread like wildfire, resulting in civilians across the galaxy protesting against the war. They wanted the war to be brought to an end, and succeeded, but then weren't sure what to do with the thousands of soldiers that were coming back. Men and women that would never be the same after everything that had happened to them on the battlefield were suddenly being told that there was no place for them anymore. They could come home, but only if they pretended that nothing had changed.

Kaine had heard about how the soldiers were treated. They were not welcomed home with cheering crowds, like the marines she knew. They were not stopped on the streets to be thanked, like her own ODST's. Most people did not call them heroes. Most people did not respect or honor them. The soldiers were cast out of social society, forced to bear everything alone and with virtually no support. It was, in Kaine's opinion, one of the worst things the human race had ever done. But it was in the history books, barely given mention at all, and she didn't think of it often.

However, the man's tattoo of the 63rd Infantry badge and the dates of the war beneath it brought everything back with a vengeance. It made her wonder how many people had told him welcome home, or had taken the time to thank him for the services he'd given. She wondered if anyone had given him a hug, or mentioned how proud they were to call him one of their own. And it made her utterly ashamed of how she'd been treating him.

Feeling the shuttle begin to slow and hearing the rustling of bags beside her, Kaine opened her eyes again. Seeing the stop that was coming up, she got to her feet. When the shuttle pulled to a stop she got off and patiently waited for the old man to step out as well. He gave her a curious glance, but she just gazed back evenly. After a moment, the man shrugged and walked through the nearby gate, not questioning when the redhead followed a few steps behind. The pair was silent as they walked down the rows, stopping occasionally when the man would pause to place a single flower on a name.

Ignoring the late hour, Kaine kept pace with the old man. She never spoke, only offering the man a tissue when he started sniffing back the tears. Ignoring the ache that was settling into her legs and the exhaustion that was dragging at her heels, the redhead refused to leave. It wasn't until the eastern sky started turning pink that she realized that she was supposed to leave the planet in less than an hour.

O'Brien would be calling her soon, trying to figure out where she was. No doubt her men were all grumbling about the delay as well. But still she stubbornly refused to leave until the old man had finished his rounds, using up every flower he'd brought. As they slowly made their way back to the front gate, she could feel him glancing at her. "My father was in the war," she finally told him quietly. "Actually, all three of them were. My birth father never talked about it, he was too ashamed. But I saw his medals when I hid in his closet during a storm one day. The man that raised me would tell stories about the war to teach me and my siblings, but he never really talked about what he went through."

Stopping for a moment, Kaine slowly traced one of the names that she'd spotted earlier. George Roland. Mendez had spoken of him often. He'd been nineteen when he threw himself on a live grenade, saving the Chief and the rest of his squad. It was one of very few personal stories Mendez had ever told them. "It's my adoptive father that I know the most about," she continued, moving on. "He told me about the days marching through mud. About the rains that would wash trails out from under your boots. To this day, he can't stand wind chimes. They remind him of the alarms; the strings of cans that they would put through the bushes so no one could sneak up on them. He was the one to tell me about how no one had ever really welcomed him home. They wanted him to act like it was all a dream, like nothing had changed him or like he'd never gone away. And when he couldn't, they pushed him out of their lives. When the war against the Insurrectionists began, he was almost happy. It gave him the chance to go back to one of the few places he really felt like he belonged in. The battlefield, and if there is a sadder statement, I don't want to know what it is."

Finally back at the entrance, Kaine turned to face the man at last, taking note of the tears in his eyes as he silently smiled at her. Hearing his unspoken thanks, she smiled back and offered her hand. When he took it, she gave a sudden tug and pulled the startled man into a hug. It didn't take long before the embrace was returned with interest, bringing a sad smile to her lips. "I know it's late," she whispered. "But I wanted to say thank you for your service, sir. And just in case no one has ever said it before, welcome home."

"Thank you for your support," he replied, voice rough with emotion. The redhead could feel tears falling on her shoulder, but politely didn't draw attention to them. She simply continued to offer comfort until he pulled away, releasing him easily. Offering one of her very rare smiles, Kaine nodded before turning around to face the gate they had just passed through. Not caring that several civilians in the area were giving her strange looks, she saluted the silent graveyard and war memorial, wondering if the spirits could hear her unspoken thanks and apologies. She held the salute until the sun finally broke the horizon, flooding the area with soft morning rays. Whispering two words, she dropped the salute and spun on her heels, quickly walking away so that the man could say goodbye to his battle buddies privately. She knew O'Brien was going to have her hide for the wait and could only imagine the string of growls and curses that her squad would be lining up for her as she undoubtedly made them far too late to have breakfast. However, she couldn't bring herself to care. Some things were just more important. Things like the quiet whisper that was now lingering around the gate, warming the heart of every soldier that entered in search for the names of their lost friends.

Thank you.


	2. Christmas Miracle

**Christmas Miracle**

Time: 1454\

December 25, 2545\

Seven miles south of Capital City, Asphodel

Sighing, Kaine raked her hand through her hair yet again, not caring that she was simply making it dirtier. If 'it' was her hair or her hand, she couldn't answer. All she knew was that she was covered in mud and blood from head to toe. That tended to happen when she was stuck on the front lines for more than a week. As it was, she'd been in battle for the last month, going toe-to-toe with more Covenant than she cared to remember. And it wasn't over yet. The alien line was starting to buckle, but her men were on their last leg. If they didn't get some reinforcements soon, they'd have to fall back and lose all the ground they'd already sacrificed so much for.

"Sir?" Tiredly, the redhead looked up to meet O'Brien's gaze, noting that he looked as exhausted as she felt. "Sentries say that Covenant is getting ready for another attack. We've only got a few minutes."

"Understood," she groaned, getting to her feet once more. "Any word back from command yet? I need their answer before I can feel comfortable giving orders."

"Nothing yet, sir," her friend shook his head. "They've been giving us the brush-off. Maybe if you contacted them?"

"Excellent idea," she drawled, stretching the kinks out of her back and picking up her helmet. The poor thing was nearly done in for after that last Needler round, but there weren't a lot of spares available, so it would have to do. Hopefully Vincent could keep it functioning for a few more hours. "Covenant is good to shoot at, but I've been getting an itch to yell at someone. Now I can." Walking back towards her radio man, she signaled for the other ODST to take command while she worked things out.

"Colonel," the Sergeant in charge of the radios greeted as she slid into the mini-trench they were using. "If you're here to yell at me, could you shoot me first so I can get some rest?"

"I'm here to yell, but not at you," she told him, looking around. Of all her men, the radio men were in the best condition, and there wasn't a single one of them that didn't look like death warmed over. She could even see one man that had had his arm blown off just two days before already back at work with his equipment. They might all be low on a lot of things, but determination and dedication were not on that list. "Get me the local command ship; we'll see if they'll pay attention to a pissed off officer instead of a tired NCO."

"Gladly," the man sighed, quickly punching commands into the radio he held before offering it to her. She accepted it with a quiet thank you, moving to the side to give everyone as much room as she could. One ear was tuned in to the static of the radio and the other was straining to catch even the hint of an attack, knowing she was playing with borrowed time.

" _This is the UNSC_ Enterprise _,_ " a voice suddenly said, sounding very bored. It was enough to instantly raise Kaine's hackles. She and her men were killing themselves fighting on this planet; why the hell weren't the ships in the same condition?! " _I repeat, there are no available troops to send to you. You'll have to muddle through somehow._ "

"Wrong answer," she growled, eyes narrow. "Who is this?"

" _Private Rawlins._ "

"Well, Private Rawlins, this is Colonel Kaine Faldon, and if you have enough time to sound as if I woke you up, how about you come down here and give us a hand?" From the sputtering, she assumed she'd made her point. "Connect me to your commanding officer, Private. Now."

" _Yes sir, right away, sir!_ " Shaking her head, the young officer nervously glanced at the sky. They were pretty sure they'd taken out all of the alien aircraft, but the idea that there could be more still made her edgy. She hated having to take shots in the dark like this. Sure, it had been a vital part of Spartan training, but not a single one of them had enjoyed it. After all, it was hard to win when everything relied on guesses and luck.

" _This is Captain Perkins of the UNSC_ Enterprise _,_ " the radio suddenly squawked. " _Colonel Faldon, I believe?_ "

"Correct, Captain," she replied, focusing back on the task at hand. "I'm not sure if you've been made aware, but we are in need of reinforcements down here. My men have been asking for backup for the past three days, and have gotten stonewalled at every turn. Is there something going on up there that I'm unaware of?"

" _No, I don't think so. The Covenant ships were badly damaged and pulled off, though they are still lurking in the system. Most of the fleet is playing cat-and-mouse with them, while the_ Enterprise _was left here to support the ground troops. And I was not made aware of your requests._ " She could almost hear the man frown and wondered what type of hell that Private was going to go through. " _Our resources_ are _spread thin; what is your exact condition?_ "

"We're seven miles south of the Capital City," she reported, cautiously sticking her head above the trench rim. The Grunts' barking was working its way through the fog, meaning they were getting closer. There wasn't a lot of time left. "According to all of our recon, this is the last group of Covenant on the continent, and I think we can break through their lines today, but only if we get that back up. My men are about ready to drop dead from exhaustion and I'd hate to give up all this land we just fought and bled for."

" _Understood, Colonel. I have one last unit I've been holding in reserve; I'll deploy them immediately. ETA: seven minutes. Can you hold on that long?_ "

"Don't have much of a choice," she snapped as the first blurred shadows appeared in the fog. "Have to go, Captain." Cutting the connection, she threw the radio back to her Sergeant and leapt out of the trench, giving a shout of warning as she pulled on her helmet. A breath later the air was filled with bullets and plasma, both sides yelling frantically as soldiers raced about, trying to get in position. For several minutes they were at a stalemate, neither side able to really push forward, but then the humans made the first mistake, leaving part of their line weak for a second too long. The Elites were on the spot in a flash, slashing at the weakened defenders violently. Screaming orders at her men, Kaine had just dropped to her knees to take out the leader when her ears picked up on a foreign sound. It took a second longer to identify than it usually would, before she was diving out of the way.

Just in time, too, as a fully armored Spartan landed where she had been. It's weapon was already firing, tearing right through the first Elite while another alien got knifed by a second Spartan. When three more giant soldiers landed, the Covenant broke ranks and ran, giving the humans time to catch their breath. "Colonel Faldon," the Spartan that had nearly crushed her said, saluting sharply. It's chest plate had the number 104 stenciled in, and she stubbornly refused to put a name to the number. "Apologies for the abrupt entry."

"I didn't mind that part," the ODST grumbled, wiping some of the new mud off her uniform. "The nearly-landing-on-me part is a different story." Silently screaming in her mind, she quickly looked over the fresh additions, wondering just how the hell this was supposed to work out. When she'd asked for help, this wasn't what she'd had in mind!

"Colonel," another Spartan greeted, saluting. "Master Chief, Sierra 117, reporting as ordered."

"Ordered?" Kaine echoed, trying to remember if she'd hit her head when she'd dived out of the way. "Whose orders?" After all, usually the reinforcements were sent in as pure support and worked virtually independent of any unit. But reporting...that was different.

"Captain Perkins," the large Spartan answered. "He gave us orders to report to you and place ourselves under your command for the duration of this mission."

"Did he?" she mused, ears already picking up the yells of the aliens. Sounded like they'd regrouped and were ready for a second charge. She didn't have time to stand around argue, but damn it all, did it have to be Spartans?! "Alright Master Chief, you know your men best, disperse them as you see fit. Next time we get a breather, I'll catch you up on the situation here." More shadows appeared in the fog. "Now move!" The words were barely out of her mouth before the enemy opened fire again, scattering the UNSC soldiers. Taking the risk of glancing over her shoulder to make sure her new soldiers were okay on their own, which was stupid because of course they were, Kaine forced her mind to focus on the rest of her men. They needed her to keep a level head and lead them; the Spartans were more than capable of taking care of themselves.

The second Covenant charge was as lightning fast as the first, but this time the aliens were facing off with five fully-rested Spartans. Needless to say, the battle didn't go well for them. In fact, with the Spartans' help, the ODSTs managed to push forward, putting serious strain on the enemy's line. However, when the Covenant troops broke and ran back to their line, Kaine called her troops to a halt. She'd barely taken a breath after that order before 117, John, was in her proverbial face. "Colonel, why are we stopping?" he asked, barely on the correct side of respect. "We should push on and break the line _now_."

"I'm not sure if you are aware of this, Master Chief," the redhead growled, more than slightly inclined to punch him in the jaw, "but my ODSTs are not as strong as your Spartans, even if they were as rested as you are. My companies been fighting for the last five days straight; the last month overall. We've suffered a 100% casualty rate and most of my soldiers are about to drop dead from exhaustion. Yes, we could push on and try to break the Covenant line, but I would lose more men than I am willing to risk at this moment. However, medical has just cleared a little less than two-hundred ODSTs to return to combat, so we'll make our line here to give time for the fresher troops to move forward while the injured and exhausted get off the front line." Chest heaving, Kaine tried to ignore the throbbing in her head as she watched the taller Spartan. Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew him well enough to know she'd caught him off guard. All she needed was a slight push and he would back off. Luckily, she knew exactly what to do.

Slumping, she let her guard down for a second so he could see just how tired _she_ was. In battles like this she always tried to take on the brunt of the fight, because she knew she was stronger than most of her men and could handle it. That didn't make everything easier to bear. "We're _tired_ Chief. This battle isn't over and I'm not giving up, but at least give my men and I a chance to catch our breaths."

"Of course, Colonel," the Spartan said, actually backing up physically. "My apologies; I was out of line."

"Not out of line," she argued, smiling at him through the gaps in her helmet. She'd have to find another one soon, but preferably not where her siblings could see her. "Just a little over-eager. Tell you what; you and your Spartans take up sentry positions while I shuffle my men around back here. Let us know if those bastards come back." Accepting his salute, the redhead watched has the bigger soldier trotted away, silently calling his team to him.

"Colonel Faldon?" O'Brien whispered, quietly coming up beside her. "Are you alright?"

"I will be," she sighed, turning to limp away from her siblings. "How are we holding up?"

"We have enough for one last push, but no more," he reported, eyeing her worriedly. "The last attack cost us nearly thirty men, and another forty-nine are now unfit for combat. Our medical personnel are stretched to the max; we don't have enough supplies for everyone. The _Enterprise_ contacted us again during the last push and assured us that more supplies and soldiers are inbound, but ETA is an hour. Covenant will have rallied by then."

"Well you're just full of good news, aren't you?" the female sighed, gingerly removing her helmet. She could feel a trickle of blood down the side of her face and winced. So much for that Brute's attack being a glancing blow. The glass of her HUD had shattered inward and she'd felt the piece of metal that had gouged through her left eyebrow, but apparently there were more injuries than she could feel. That wasn't good; the last thing she needed was to become numb to her wounds. Pain was the only thing that held her back from getting herself killed. "Anything else, Mr. Sunshine?"

"For the first time ever, your Spartans are being met with joy and welcome. Everyone is aware that the only thing standing between us and getting overrun are your friends. I've never heard so many positive words about Spartans in an ODST camp before."

"That _is_ good," the tired officer said, picking up a helmet that was on the ground. A dark feeling in her gut told her its owner didn't need it anymore. "Try to keep the line ready. As soon as we have everyone settled into position, we're going to make one last push."

"Yes, Colonel," her friend said before racing off, passing her orders down the line. Taking a gulp from her canteen, the smallest Spartan settled the new helmet on her head. In the rare quiet moment she made sure to take in the peace that would soon be lost. Her arms and legs were shaking, and she wasn't sure if she would last the battle, but she had to try.

"Just until sunset," she whispered to herself, tiredly gazing up at the sun. "If I can just make it to sunset, then I can rest as long as I need." For a second, she almost believed it, too. And then she heard the Spartan alarm and the moment ended. Sprinting back to the front line, she forced her arms to hold her weapon steady as she pulled it up, an Elite in her sights. "Just until sunset." Firing off a burst, she hoped she could last that long.

Seeming to know they were in their final hours, Covenant pushed harder than they had all week, desperate to stop the human advance. However, their determination couldn't stand against the humans' desire to end the entire bloody affair. With almost reckless abandon, the ODSTs and Spartans pressed forward until the enemy line finally buckled and broke for the last time. Giving a roar of elation, the humans pushed the aliens all the way to their ships. They were so excited, most didn't notice the Elite that was hiding in the trees, rifle aimed straight at Spartan 104.

Kaine, however, wasn't 'most'.

"Down!" she roared, tackling the endangered Spartan a fraction of a second before the alien fired. The shot went over their heads harmlessly and another human took out the lurking Elite. Grunting, Kaine rolled off her brother, nearly curled in a ball. Note to self: Spartan armor was harder than she'd originally thought.

"Colonel!" Master Chief called, sprinting to her side as 104 got back on his feet. "Are you injured?"

"I'm sure I'll be black and blue for a while, but I'm fine," she told him, taking his arm when he offered to help pull her up. "How about your team? Everyone safe?"

"Thanks to you," 104 cut in, bowing slightly. "You saved me."

"Don't mention it," she wheezed, still bent nearly in half as her torso screamed profanities at her. "Ever. My chest might just break if I even think about this again." Trying to smile at the Spartan, she vaguely wondered how to get them to leave so she could remove her helmet and puke. "I'm glad you're okay, soldier. Now, this place isn't safe yet. Go secure the perimeter; make sure the enemy is truly gone and not coming back." Wish sharp salutes, the Spartans rushed to obey. The second they were out of sight, Kaine ripped off her helmet and lost what little was in her stomach. Even when she had nothing left to throw up, the heaves continued, throwing her already bruised lungs into a fit. "I hate war," she groaned, trying to repress the attacks.

"Most of us do," O'Brien's voice said from her side as gentle hands supported her. "Though I suppose you have more reason than most. Can you walk?" Shaking her head, the redhead heaved again, feeling the bile in the back of her throat burn. "Sir, the Spartans will be back any second. If you're going to stay a secret, we need to go." She wanted to reply, she really did, but her chest was seizing up and she was crying. All the crap she'd just put her body through was catching up with her and she was paying the price. However, she knew everything would turn ugly if her siblings caught her, so she forcefully pushed the pain aside and stood up straight, nearly screaming in agony. It was hell, but O'Brien seemed to understand as he put her arm around his body and nearly carried her back to the medics. Part way there, her body finally gave up and Kaine slipped out of consciousness.

Slowly waking, the first thing the redhead noticed was that she wasn't covered in the itchy sensation of mud anymore. In fact, she almost felt...clean. Then she noticed the white tent she was in and everything clicked into place. O'Brien must have gotten her to the medics, and now she was resting in the infirmary. Wonderful.

Wincing slightly, Kaine pulled herself into a sitting position to look around. She'd already noticed that her chest was bandaged tightly, as was her left arm, though that was slightly more confusing. From the skewed depth perception, she assumed her left eye was covered as well, though she couldn't feel the bandage. Other than that, she seemed unharmed. The rest of the tent was full of sleeping ODSTs, each with his or her own set of bandages. It made the young soldier's heart ache, but she was hopeful that the high number resting meant a low number dead.

Quiet murmurs from outside the tent caught the redhead's attention and she carefully got to her feet. When her lower body didn't give more than a token complaint, she gingerly wrapped herself in a nearby robe before shuffling out of the slumbering tent. Outside she found the rest of her command slowly moving about their main camp. Everyone she could see had bandages, but they moved easier than she'd expected. The sky was also pitch black, the moon gleaming down brightly. It seemed she'd been out for a while.

"Colonel." Heart catching, Kaine turned to see the Spartan standing nearby. His helmet finally off, she was able to look into Fred's eyes, noting distantly how she was unable to think of him as a number when his face was bare. "It's good to see you on your feet again."

"It's good to be up," she replied, forcing a smile when it seemed he didn't recognize her. Maybe all the bandages over her face was a good thing. "How long have I been out?"

"Not long," he said, surprising her. "The battle finished about five hours ago. Most of the ODSTs that were with you are still sleeping." Nodding to the infirmary tent, he continued, "There were a lot of casualties, but very few fatalities. You should be proud."

"I am," she admitted, smile turning genuine as she thought of her men. "I'm surprised you're still here, though, if the battle finished that long ago. Shouldn't you have all moved on to the next combat zone?"

"Captain Perkins' orders are that we stay with you until you get off the planet," Fred argued, though he seemed uneasy. Very few Spartans enjoyed disagreeing with soldiers that outranked them. "I believe he mentioned something about a promise to your father?"

"Wouldn't surprise me," the redhead sighed, rolling her good eye. "I swear, half the UNSC is indebted to Eric." As the wind shifted, her nose twitched at an unexpected smell. "Is that – is that turkey?"

Laughing at the look of excitement on the officer's face, the Spartan nodded, though he wondered what it was about her that seemed so familiar. He hadn't noticed before, but it was almost like he knew her. "Part of the supplies that came in. After all, it's December 25th." She blinked up at him, confused. "Christmas?"

"Oh," Kaine said, mentally smacking herself. That's right; most people cared about Christmas. The Spartans never had, but ever since joining the ODSTs, the redhead had seen just how fanatical some people were about the ancient holiday. Eric always organized a Christmas party on the main ODST ship, claiming it was good for morale, and she had to reluctantly agree. Still, she'd never be as fond of it as other humans. "Well, you and your team are welcome to join us."

"Doubtful," the larger human chuckled sarcastically. "The ODSTs you lead are slightly warmer towards us, but most of these reinforcements have made it clear we are not welcome in anyway. Besides, we never celebrate Christmas." Smiling at her, he nodded. "Thank you for the offer anyway." Hiding how much his words disturbed her, the ODST nodded back before walking away, carefully measuring each step to make sure she didn't limp. In seconds she was surrounded by her men and greeted with joy that she wasn't sure she could mirror.

"Colonel!" O'Brien called, standing next to the fire pit. "You're just in time! We're getting ready to serve everyone." Waving to her friend, the young officer couldn't stop herself from glancing over to the edge of the base. As expected, the Spartans were huddled there, talking quietly amongst themselves. They had their own fire, and it was enough to reveal their faces to her gaze. Kelly. Linda. Anton. Fred. And John, of course. Seeing them on the very edge of the shadows made her chest hurt, though that was possibly the bruise.

Taking her plate from the cook, Kaine gingerly settled onto an overturned bucket, knowing that seating was going to be haphazard. It didn't take long for O'Brien to join her and the rest of her men to get their own helpings. Normally this type of meal would be rationed, but the redhead could clearly see they had enough to feed the entire company several times over. It seemed Perkins was trying to make up for the earlier neglect.

Throughout the meal, though, Kaine kept glancing at her siblings. She knew they weren't bothered with being excluded; they were probably enjoying the time to be alone with each other. What tugged at her was the desire to be with them. It had been so long since she had seen any of them, and now it was like she was allowed to look but not to touch. Humans had been driven mad with lesser temptations.

By the time every ODST had been served, the redhead was done with her meal and knew what she was going to do. "Help me," she ordered her friend slightly as she shakily got back to her feet. Projecting a confidence she didn't really feel, she walked over to the cook and explained what she needed, O'Brien at her back. After a short argument that she would do it alone, thank you very much, the cook helped her package up several helpings of the feast so she could carry them. Making sure to not leave anything out, Kaine finally thanked the cook before heading directly toward the isolated Spartans. She hadn't taken more than two steps before she knew they noticed her, though she had gotten significantly farther before her ODSTs started to realize what she was doing.

"Colonel Faldon," John greeted as she finally reached their camp. "Can we help you?"

"No need," she smiled, putting her burden down. "I noticed you weren't taking part in the Christmas feast so, knowing the ODSTs can be less than welcoming," she could nearly feel the soldiers behind her wince as she gave no effort to lower her voice, "I decided to bring the feast to you. After all, we would have lost today if you hadn't shown up." For a long moment she wondered if John would argue with her, but he eventually nodded smoothly, welcoming her to the group. Good, saved her the trouble of ordering them.

Quietly dishing up the food, the Spartans settled around the fire and didn't twitch when she joined them. The rest of the camp eventually resumed their conversations, but the small circle of light on the edge floated on in silence. Leaning back to rest against a tree trunk, Kaine closed her eyes and let everything sink in, previously unaware of how much she'd missed moments like this. Her ODSTs were amazing, but they didn't know how to be quiet and simply bask in the fact that they were all alive. Spartans didn't see the need to chatter needlessly, finding comfort in silence instead. Some of her favorite memories was of laying in the barracks after lights out, listening to her siblings breathe.

From the ODST camp, a smooth tenor voice started singing an ancient Christmas song. One by one, other voices joined in until nearly the entire base was singing about a silent night. It was strangely fitting, and Kaine allowed the song to relax her. "Merry Christmas, Spartans," she whispered, staring up at the full moon above them.

The small circle was silent for a long moment before, "Merry Christmas, Colonel Faldon." Smiling, the redhead closed her eyes and faded back into sleep. Maybe Christmas wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

 _Betaed (FINALLY!) by the lovely Mira. So if any typos have survived, let them be. They deserve a break._


	3. This Can't Be Happening To Me

**This Can't Be Happening To Me**

Time: 0700\

July 9, 2547\

Earth

It was the sunlight that woke Kaine from her uneasy sleep. For a moment she was lost, not comprehending where she was, but then everything came rushing back and a smile burst across her face. Finally, after all the years of hiding, they were going to reveal their secret to the entire human race. It was a daunting idea, but somehow felt so right in her heart. She was tired of wearing gloves.

Bounding out of the bed, the redhead spared only a quick glance at the dress that was hanging in wait, unable to stop the abnormal giggle. Shaking her head in exasperation, she quickly entered the bathroom and stepped into the shower, knowing she didn't have long; there was so much to do. Over the sound of the water she could hear birds outside, welcoming the morning. When John had suggested having the ceremony on Earth she hadn't been overly excited, but now she wouldn't change anything. No matter where they came from, every Spartan had a special connection to the human home-world, having fought and died for it for so many years. It was the perfect place to celebrate a new beginning.

Humming a mindless tune, the soldier finished her shower and wrapped a towel around her body before stepping out, shivering at the sudden drop in temperature. Outside the window she could see the yellow and red leaves as she quickly blow-dried her hair and pulled it back from her face. The makeup cases scattered across her counter still made her huff in frustration, but they were a necessary evil so she applied the stuff carefully. With supreme effort she forced herself to patiently replicate the artwork that Kelly had spent hours teaching her. She could still remember her shock at learning that her tomboy sister had an amazing skill with girly activities, but blessed whatever god might exist that she did.

Only once she was done with the makeup did her hands begin to shake, forcing her to grab the counter tightly. Taking a deep breath she glanced in the mirror again, struggling to believe that the day had finally come. So many months of planning, so many years of hoping, were finally culminating in the next few hours, filling her with a nervous energy. She wanted to run or spar or jump out of a Pelican, anything to bleed off the adrenaline rush. But there was no time, and she knew it wouldn't truly help. Besides, it would all be fine. Nothing could go wrong now.

Walking back into the bedroom, Kaine carefully reached out to gently brush the wedding gown that was waiting for her. It had been John's idea, really. He wasn't ashamed of their marriage and wanted everyone to know that she belonged to him. Although she'd laughed when he told her that, she couldn't deny feeling the same. She was tired of hiding his ring and having to listen to her ODSTs theories about how she got it. But when the bigger Spartan had suggested getting married again in a public ceremony, she'd balked. There were still laws surrounding what Spartans could and could not do in their personal lives and marrying was forbidden to active duty Spartans.

John, however, had been relentless. He'd appealed directly to Admiral Hood, getting his permission for the wedding before forcing ONI into compliance. Then, just to prove his sincerity, he'd gone to Eric and asked his permission to ask for Kaine's hand in marriage. After all that work, what could she do but agree?

It hadn't been easy, of course. Their schedules had forced them apart for long periods of time, making it nearly impossible to plan a lunch date, let alone a wedding. Sometimes she would have to leave him a message and wait weeks to get a reply, and the reverse was true as well. If either of them had been any less stubborn, the whole thing would have fallen through horribly. Yet despite all the obstacles, they had persevered and now here they were, only hours away from 'getting married'. It didn't matter that it was technically a simple renewal of vows; for the first time they wouldn't have to hide what they meant to each other.

Taking a deep breath, Kaine finally dropped the towel and slowly slipped into the dress, shivering slightly at the texture. Silk was not something she was used to feeling. Once it was on and settled she spun in a slow circle, basking in the quiet whispers of the cloth and how it fit her body perfectly. She'd have to make sure to thank O'Brien again, after playfully teasing him about his hidden talent at designing and creating wedding dresses. It was simple while being elegant and something she actually felt rather comfortable in. The shoes were another story but there was only so much that could be done there. It wasn't like it was possible to make a high-heeled shoe that a tomboy soldier that lived in combat boots would find easy to wear.

The sun was high in the sky as Kaine let her hair down, starting the painstaking process of styling it. One would think that short hair would be easy to style, but her strands seemed determined to go in every direction other than the one she wanted. It took more gel than she wanted to admit to before she achieved the backwards sweep that she wanted. Some had said that it wasn't the best hairstyle for her dress design, but she could still remember the day in training when John had told her he loved when her hair was swept back by the wind. He'd always thought it was the best look on her because it made her look wild and free. Even if no one else understood why she looked the way she did that day, he would.

The final touch was the sapphire droplet earrings that Fred had loaned her. She still laughed inside at the memory of his embarrassed face when he'd offered them. He'd never been the best with females so having an ONI lady send him the jewelry with some extremely not-subtle hints on what he could get her had to have been mortifying. However, he had told her it would be worth it to see her wear them at her wedding; a sentiment that had nearly made her cry with joy.

There were still several hours before the wedding was set to take place, but Kaine couldn't stay still anymore. Thinking that being at the church might help ease some of her nerves, she quickly left the house the UNSC had assigned her and slipped into her car. A vintage '99 Mustang GT, it was her baby and pride. It hadn't been easy to find all the parts to make it run again but everything had been worthwhile to drive down the road with the wind in her hair. Even after all the times she'd driven it a thrill went through her as she turned the key and the engine roared to life. Her ship was a wonderful creation but nothing could come close to her car.

Tapping her fingers on the steering wheel as she hummed along with the radio, the redhead felt the butterflies start up in her stomach, making her smile softly. With all the augmentations and foreign chemicals in her body, it was nice to know her nerves could still reveal themselves in normal ways. It would have been mortifying to have some enhanced nerves to go with everything else.

The bad feeling didn't appear until she pulled into the church parking lot and saw the ONI officer talking to the preacher. For a horrible second she thought that he was trying to stop the wedding and burst from her car angrily, but everything froze when he looked towards her and she saw the black slash across his patch. Everything went numb as he approached and quietly told her the news. Her mind stalled out as it realized that the words 'Master Chief' and 'KIA' were in the same sentence. But when those cold dog tags were laid in her hand the ice shattered and she fell to her knees, not noticing as the dress tore.

It was the longest day of her life. She sat alone on the pew, clutching his tags tightly as people started trickling in. The ONI man had told her that there was no body, so for containment purposes the UNSC had decided to hold his funeral that day, replacing the wedding they'd planned. In a different moment she might have appreciated the logic of the choice, but with her heart screaming it was a little hard to accept. The church slowly filled up, becoming filled with quiet whispers and muffled sobs. Kaine knew Eric was sitting beside him in his dress uniform, not making his usual complaints about how itchy it was. Zach and Luna were on her other side, the female holding her hand gently while the male leaned on her shoulder, giving her a grounding point. Somewhere nearby were Kelly and Fred, quietly standing guard as they subtly wiped tears from their eyes.

As the sun touched the horizon the preacher moved to stand before them, silencing the gathered soldiers. He spoke of the sorrow that had replaced the joy and how sometimes life didn't make any sense. When he offered the pulpit to any who wanted to speak for John everyone waited for Kaine to get up, but she couldn't. Her feet were frozen in place and she feared the slightest move would shatter her into more pieces than could be put back together. Eventually the elderly priest simply called for everyone to bow their heads in prayer as he asked whatever power may be to ease the hurt of their hearts and to take the Master Chief into the peace that he had earned.

The short walk to the cemetery was almost more than the redhead could stand, her knees buckling at the first note from the military trumpet. Zach and Fred had to hold her up as the guns were fired and the empty casket was lowered into the waiting grave. When the folded flag was placed in her arms she held it tightly to her chest, a continuous tremor making her shake like a leaf. With each round fired from the guns she winced, feeling like the bullets were going straight through her heart. Tears were misting her eyes, obscuring her view of everything though she tried to hard to see his face in her mind again. However, the image slipped away like water, leaving her desolate.

With the final prayer spoken the congregation broke up, people leaving in small groups to mourn in private. Several ODSTs stopped by to speak to Kaine, but each had to walk away when they saw the naked heartbreak on her face. Even the other Spartans could barely meet her eyes and soon she was left alone with her old team and the empty box. Zach offered to drive her home but she waved him away, one hand clenched over her mouth to stop the sobs. There were no words to describe how desperately she needed to stay there; as close to John as she would ever be able to be again. To walk away would be to acknowledge that she was never going to be with him again. Somehow her brother understood and quietly left, a quietly crying Luna following. Both Spartans couldn't help but feel that they had just finished burying two siblings instead of one.

Only once her team was out of sight did the redhead fall to her knees, no longer trying to stifle her cries. They rocked through her, shaking her body in their intensity as the tears streamed from her eyes in a way they had never done before. She had no control over herself as she wept and screamed herself hoarse. All the emotions were ripped from her, escaping on tormented cries into the night air. It wasn't until the sun was just beginning to rise that she yelled her last, "Please be just a dream!"

* * *

With a scream of anguish, Kaine bolted upright on the bed, eyes wide and heart racing. The world spun wildly before quite suddenly settling into her room on the ship. Panting and confused she looked around wildly, trying to understand what was happening. Then suddenly, "Colonel Faldon?" came O'Brien's voice from the COM system. "I just heard a scream. Are you alright?" Looking down at her shaking hand the redhead struggled to straighten out her mind. She'd been on Earth about to marry John; he'd died and she'd been at his grave and had yelled-

"Just a dream," she croaked, knowing her SiC would hear. "A very, very bad dream. I'm fine." She could almost feel his skepticism but when he didn't pursue the subject she relaxed slightly. Ignoring the tremor that was racking her body she got to her feet and stumbled over to the desk. Her body was covered in a layer of nervous sweat, chilling her horribly in the already cool room, but the discomfort was hardly noticed. Everything was focused on accessing her data console and quickly looking up the Master Chief. It wasn't until she saw his classification as 'Active' that she was finally able to take a full breath and collapse onto the seat.

Laying her head on her arms, Kaine closed her eyes as she tried to regulate her breathing. The terror from the dream was still very real, nipping at her painfully. It wasn't a sensation she was used to and it angered her, but there was no way to stop it. Anything more than stopping the shakes was beyond what she was capable of. A therapist might have been able to teach her more, but those were few and far between on the front lines.

"You have a meeting in half-an-hour," Vincent said quietly in her mind, apparently afraid of shattering her fragile control. Despite his care she still flinched, barely stopping herself from crying aloud. All of her nerves and emotions were raw; there was so much fearful energy and she didn't know what to do with it all. She wanted to run and fight and kill and scream and knew that all of those things were beyond what she could do just then.

Slowly levering herself to her feet, knowing she looked like she was in pain, the redhead couldn't help but ask, "How many times does that make?" as she stared at the silver band around her finger.

"27 times, same dream," Vincent replied, knowing the number would increase the next day. It always did. With a quiet sob, Kaine could only nod as she limped to the shower, feeling the torn and dirty dress wrapped around her one last time. The day would bring her clarity and comfort as she realized that nothing she'd seen was true, but the night would only bring back the pain. She'd tried staying awake but even Spartans needed sleep. There was nothing left for her to do but suffer through each dream, learning to deal with the heartbreak and knowing it wasn't real. However, there was one thing the dreams and the pain had taught her.

If the dream ever became a reality, she would not survive.


	4. The Squad

**The Squad**

Time: 0945\

June 30, 2550\

Aboard the UNSC _Avalon_

Taking a deep breath, Kaine took a second to resettle herself and mentally complain about the dress uniform she was wearing before knocking briskly on Eric's door. She had an idea about what the upcoming meeting was about, and she wasn't anxious to have it. In fact, she'd been avoiding it for months, which was why her father had finally summoned her to his office for official business, thus the outfit. As a Spartan and an ODST, she only disregarded orders that were not explicitly stated, so she had to come and face the music. Her streak of avoiding the problem was coming to an end.

"Enter." Reluctantly, the redhead obeyed. As she'd expected, the man was sitting behind his desk, wrestling with the mountain of paperwork that he had to complete every day. If nothing else in her life was true, it could at least be said that she did not envy her adopted father's duties in any way. "Kaine," the older man greeted warmly, smiling up at her. His hair was snow white and there were more wrinkles than when they'd first met, but the fire in his eyes was the same as that day decades ago. "Please, sit down. I just have to finish this report." Gingerly taking a seat, the former Spartan watched the man work silently. When he finally put his pen down, she tensed. "I assume you know why I called you here."

"I wouldn't presume to assume," she replied chidingly, arching a brow at him. "However, I thought it might have something to do with the new UNSC directive."

"Got it in one," he told her, leaning back in his chair with a tired sigh. "I know you find the order to be...restrictive, but Command doesn't make suggestions. All branch leaders and their SiC's must build a squad that will prioritize the officer's safety. You only have a week left to comply, or be written up for disciplinary actions. That does not mesh well with your goal of avoiding ONI attention."

"I am aware," Kaine said tightly. "But sir, I can't have a squad, and you know it. The directive would keep them too close; I would have no secrets left. Having you and O'Brien know the truth is enough of a risk, and I can't afford to let anyone else in."

"I know," the older ODST sighed, giving her a pitying look. "I've done everything I could to get you out of this order, but nothing works. Even your reputation as a loner isn't helping. No matter how unsavory the idea, you need to build a squad."

Growling under her breath, the redhead jerked out of the chair, pacing to the nearby window to watch the stars. Were she with anyone else, she knew her actions would have resulted in instant discipline, but Eric just watched her. After all their years together, he knew that sometimes the only thing that stopped her from exploding was moving. As an explosion would ruin his very comfortable office, allowing a little insubordination was a small price to pay.

"I'll have the squad put together before morning formation," she finally said curtly, not looking at her father. "May I be excused?"

"Dismissed," he whispered, watching her spin on her heel and stalk out. His heart clenched at the thought of how closed off she'd become over the decades. Having to hide in plain sight for so many years had made her frigid, and he wasn't sure she'd ever recover.

Meanwhile, Kaine was stalking through the halls, face dark with a scowl. Any ODST that passed her gave her as large a berth as they could. Normally, that expression on the SiC's face meant that someone was going to die a horrible death. No one wanted to volunteer for the honor.

Finally reaching her room, the redhead waited for the door to slide shut before punching the wall, not noticing when her fingers cracked painfully. It seemed no matter what she did, ONI found a way to compromise her safety. Telling O'Brien had been a huge risk, and now she was being forced to tell more people the truth. After all, according to the mandate, whatever men she chose would be virtually attached to her hip for the duration of her military career. The only reason her secret had lasted as long as it had was because she had kept everyone at arms length. Letting people in...it...frightened her.

"At least you're able to admit it," Vincent sighed from the desk speakers. "I'm assuming you want a list of ODSTs that can be trusted to keep your secret?"

"How can you know who to trust?" she snarled, throwing her cap against the wall. "You're good, Vince, but humans are unpredictable. All it takes is one disgruntled soldier learning the truth and I'm dead." Knowing she was going to break something if she didn't calm down, the redhead forced herself to lay on the bed, hands clasped behind her back. Her heart was racing with all the adrenaline in her system and she couldn't catch a full breath. The sensation wasn't dissimilar to what she experienced on the battlefield, but at least there she had a definite end to the tension.

"By analyzing personality bios, I can select ODSTs that have favorable opinions of Spartans and can keep secrets," the AI tried to soothe, noting that she was still growling. "You know that Eric, O'Brien, and I won't let anything happen to you, right?"

"Forgive me if that doesn't inspire confidence," Kaine snapped, closing her eyes and trying to regulate her breathing. "It's my life on the line." She could feel the AI shift in her mind and scowled. Their connection got stronger with every second they remained connected, and they were edging into dangerous territory. Vincent had already estimated that they had another two years before they became completely dependent on each other, incapable of surviving on their own.

Silence reigned in the room before the redhead managed to scrape together enough control to get off the bed again. "I'm sorry," she sighed, glancing at the console though she knew the AI wasn't really there. "Yes, I would appreciate a list of candidates." Her pad instantly flashed as a list of names popped up. "Thank you." Picking up the pad, she started rolling through the document, noting just how much work her digital friend had done. He'd included a short bio on each soldier, detailing why they were chosen as well as military records. Some of the soldiers Kaine already knew, and she was able to toss them right away. Others she'd only heard of and had to perform a more extensive study for. The process was oddly soothing, and the officer was barely aware of time passing before her COM suddenly lit up and Eric's face appeared, startling her. "Sir?"

"We've got trouble," he told her bluntly, eyes tense. "Covenant troops have attacked Arcadia. We're already in system, so we'll be first on the scene. I hope you have your squad picked, because I'm sending you down first as an advance strike team." Looking down at her shortened list, the redhead nodded. The squad needed to be a minimum of ten and she had sixteen. It wasn't ideal, but it would suffice.

"I'll send you my choices now," she said briskly, quickly sending the list. "How are we being inserted?"

"By drop pod," Eric answered. "ETA to Arcadia is twenty minutes. I'll send notices to your choices; you get kitted out and go to the pods. Your men will be waiting. Faldon out." The COM cut off without waiting for a reply, allowing Kaine to leap to her feet and nearly flicker to the closet, quickly pulling out her armor. Most ODSTs had to go to the weaponry to get all their gear, but as all of her equipment had been personalized, she was allowed to keep it in her room. It dramatically reduced her prep time, not least because she didn't have to restrain herself to normal human speed.

"I've received the mission specifics," Vincent chimed as the redhead pulled on the last of her uniform, ignoring her muttering about how the gloves never fit right. "The alert came out seven minutes ago; Grunts and Jackals have been confirmed, but no other Covenant species. However, ONI believes this attack party is lead by Brutes. I feel I should remind you, the CMO has threatened to sedate you for the next decade if you get hit by another Brute Hammer."

"Duly noted," Kaine replied as she grabbed her MA5B and ran from the room. She hadn't heard Eric's ship wide announcement of the battle, but she knew it had to have happened with all the other ODSTs rushing about in controlled chaos. "Has Eric sent any more orders for our specific mission?"

" _You mean beside his standard 'Don't die'? He's approved your entire list and noted that you_ _had not specified a ranking, so he placed O'Brien as your SiC. There is also a note that he's not explaining things to the Spartans if you die._ "

"Acknowledged," the redhead snorted, swing up to the pod bay. She wasn't the first one there, and she paused to look at her new squad mate. Of all of her choices, this one had been the riskiest. Corporal Lea was one of the youngest ODSTs, being only twenty years old. Many of the female soldiers cooed over him, with his chocolate brown hair and 'dreamy' hazel eyes, but his good looks paled against the warrior he actually was. He was heralded as a prodigy, but Kaine didn't care about that. What had caught her attention was that the boy came from a long line of ONI agents. He'd been raised from the crib to keep secrets, but that didn't mean he'd keep hers. "Corporal."

"General!" Lea snapped to attention, saluting so fast he only succeeded in smacking himself in the face. It was so unexpected, Faldon couldn't contain the laugh that burst out of her. She'd seen the soldier's picture in his file, but she hadn't expected this puppy in human form.

"At ease," she chuckled, making sure to stand informally herself. The poor boy was clearly intimidated. "I might have a star on my shoulder, but I'm not going to bite." From the look on his face, he didn't believe her. "Any questions about why you're here? We won't have time for Q&A once we drop." She could see on his face that he did, but if he would be brave enough to ask was another story.

"Commander Faldon's message was that you'd picked me for your personal squad," Lea finally said cautiously, still standing stiffly. "I'm honored, but...why me?"

"A valid question, and one that we don't have time to answer," she told him truthfully as O'Brien scrambled up the ladder behind her. "Ask me again when we get back on the ship. But the simple answer would be that I believe I can trust you." Arching a brow at him, she let him see just how serious she was. "I hope that trust is not betrayed." Not giving him time to reply, the redhead turned toward her old friend, smiling softly as other soldiers joined them. "Ready for this?"

"I never am," O'Brien joked, smiling back, though his eyes were worried. "But I'm sure we'll muddle through somehow. How about you? I was starting to think you were going to get out of making a squad."

"I wish," she muttered, watching as the group slowly grew. "Just been putting it off, really. Strap into your pod; we drop in ten minutes." Noting his salute, she turned to face the other men. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions," she told them. "Sadly, thanks to Covenant, I don't have time to answer them. Consider this a test run to see if you have what it takes to cut it as my squad. We drop in ten, so get ready." She winced when they all saluted; that would have to be the first thing to go. Unlike most officers, she preferred to be followed immediately instead of waiting for 'proper respect'. However, she couldn't find fault as the soldiers quickly and efficiently obeyed. They weren't Spartans, but they weren't bad.

" _Do I need to tuck you in myself?_ " Eric's voice asked through Kaine's personal COM. " _Stop monkeying around and get in your pod; you drop in five._ " Frowning at the unexpected rush, the redhead decided to forego answering to climb into her assigned pod. She'd barely sealed the hatch before her father's voice piped through the system, talking to them all. " _From this point on, you are Fire-team SEAL. Your LZ is two miles from the last reported sighting of the enemy. With luck, we won't be dropping you right on top of them. This seems to be an advance attack; Covenant numbers are low and they appear more interested with information gathering than killing. That being said, the Arcadia militia has already suffered losses. Your mission is to find the Covenant troops and eliminate them. Good luck, and godspeed._ "

"You heard him, brace for drop," Kaine ordered, pulling her helmet on at last. She hated wearing the damn thing and always left it off as long as possible, but she knew going down without it would be suicide. The second it was on, the HUD activated and she saw the countdown. That was not five minutes. "Crap, drop in seven seconds! Strap in!" She'd barely managed to grab her controls before the doors opened and the pods launched. It was much more abrupt than normal, throwing the ODSTs around in their crafts. More than one muffled yelp came through the COM, but Faldon couldn't worry about them. Her entry angle was already off; if she didn't correct fast her pod would explode on entry. "The hell is going on?" she growled, jerking the controls. "You trying to get me killed, Eric?"

Because of her awkward entry, the redhead's pod hit the atmosphere at an angle and groaned dangerously, but held as it plummeted to the surface. Releasing a breath through clenched teeth, she struggled to turn her craft so it would be at least a partial soft landing. " _Sir, you're way off course!_ " O'Brien's voice yelled. " _You're going to miss the LZ!_ "

"Tell me something I don't know," she snapped back, feeling the temperature of the pod increase. "Don't come after me in the air! Find me on the ground." Something on her pod broke, and she could feel the craft shake as the fires started. "If I don't make it, you're in command. Now shut up and let me fly." Snapping the connection shut, she tried to control the shuddering controls. "I survived eight years of being under Halsey's thumb; I'm not dying in a damn drop pod," she snarled, noting that she was getting perilously close to the surface. "Come on, you hunk of junk, straighten!" The alarm bells starting going off, adding another source of chaos to the mix. "Vincent, turn those damn things off! Actually, forget that, get ready to blow the hatch. I'm going to have to bail."

" _No human can survive bailing out at this speed,_ " the AI said. " _Even Spartans in full armor run a high chance of injury and/or death. I would not recommend the plan._ "

"If I don't bail, I'm going to die," she yelled. "I'll take possible death over guaranteed death any day and I'll deal with everything else later. Now blow the damn hatch!" Despite her words, she waited semi-patiently as the pod continued to drop. Vincent was infinitely more intelligent than she was, and he'd know the best time for her to bail. In this, she'd had to trust him.

" _I'm glad you recognize that. Blowing the hatch in five._ " Bracing herself, the redhead tried not to think about how close the tree tops were getting. Then the hatch exploded off the pod and she flung herself free, feeling the craft tumble away. Her HUD instantly went red as the backwash of flames swept over her, and then she was free falling. For a scarce second she allowed herself to simply enjoy the feeling. Even in training she'd loved the sensation of falling, to the point where the Instructors got nervous letting her around heights. They didn't ever think she was going to commit suicide, but jumping for fun wasn't beyond her. That's was why her favorite part of the ODSTs was the Drop part.

But then the second passed and she had to focus on survival again. Looking down at the rapidly approaching canopy, she made a split second decision and curled into a ball, tucking her head into her chest and wrapping her arms around her neck. Using her neural implants to strengthen the shields as much as she could, Kaine finally reached the hardest part. Waiting.

With a roar and a crash, she blew through the canopy, feeling limbs and leaves snap and break around her. Her shields fell terrifyingly fast, but held until the pressure at her back stopped. Then she smashed into the leaf litter. Clenching her teeth against the expletives that wanted to burst forth, the redhead tried to uncurl and felt her vertebra scrape together. " _Move slowly,_ " Vincent warned. " _You have several internal injuries that your armor is trying to compensate for. I've already alerted O'Brien to our location; the team is on it's way now._ "

"They're not the only ones," the ODST grunted as she pushed herself to her feet, hearing the distant barking of Grunts. "We're going to have company soon. Show me where SEAL is." Seeing the NAV point on her HUD, she started hobbling in that direction. "Vincent, status."

" _If you weren't a Spartan, you'd be dead right now,_ " he replied bluntly, impressing an image of him glaring at her on her mind. " _As it is, if Master Chief could see you right now he'd probably insist on carrying you like a baby for the next month. Mendez would just save everyone the trouble and shoot you now._ "

"That's not helpful," Kaine hissed, stumbling against a tree trunk. "What is my exact condition?"

" _Left lung punctured. Kidneys damaged and shutting down. Damage to the spine, though the spinal cord itself is unharmed. Fractures in both legs, right hand shattered. You'll be operating at reduced efficiency for this mission, but full recovery is possible. Considering you don't do anything_ _else stupid._ "

"I'm going to ignore that," she deadpanned, painfully pulling herself over a large log. "Are you able to locate the Covenant?"

" _You don't want me to answer that._ "

"Joy." Unable to catch a full breath, the redhead had to pause and lean against a nearby tree. "ETA to SEAL?" Before Vincent could answer, a ground shaking roar came from her left, followed by a scream of pain that the ODST knew too well. "O'Brien!" she yelled, leaping forward and racing towards the noise. Her body sharply protested her actions, but she shoved everything aside and pushed herself harder. She was so focused on reaching her friend, she nearly tripped over air as she burst out of the trees and into the clearing that had been their LZ. Now it was a battleground, with Covenant nearly swarming her men. One ODST was already down, crushed by a Brute's hammer, and the alien in question was standing over an injured O'Brien, hammer raised to deliver the killing blow. That couldn't be allowed to happen.

"Hey Rug Face!" she bellowed, charging over with reckless abandon. It didn't matter that everyone could see her. It didn't matter that she was throwing nearly every secret she had out the window. There was no way in hell she was going to stand back and watch her best friend die. "Think fast!" Startled, the Brute had just started turning towards her when she rammed it, tackling it away from O'Brien. She felt something snap and her right arm went numb before she had to roll away or be crushed under the mass of alien. Looking up at it, she had to smile. Yes, it was more pissed than hurt, but now it's focus was on her. "Come on, ugly. Let's dance."

Roaring, the alien charged, hammer at the ready. Ignoring the shriek of her common sense, Kaine stood her ground, watching the weapon. At the last second she ducked low, letting the hammer swing harmlessly over her head. That left her in perfect position to hit the Brute's midsection with an open hand strike. She wasn't as strong as her siblings in their MJOLNIR suits, but she knew she could cause enough damage to at least slow the thing down. Hopefully that would allow the others to take it out.

The blow was enough to knock the Brute off course, though it also caused Faldon to lose feeling in her remaining good arm. It was still useable, but she didn't think it would do her much good. Especially not when the injured alien spun back towards her, eyes spitting with hate. However, before it had time to bellow again, it's head suddenly snapped back, a spray of blood between the eyes showing where the bullet burst hit. Then the Brute toppled backward silently, hitting the ground hard enough to make it shake. For a moment, all Kaine could do was stare. Until, "General Faldon!"

"I'm okay," she said numbly, turning to see O'Brien racing towards her, injured arm cradled against his chest. The rest of the ODSTs followed; apparently the Brute was the last enemy in the area. "What is our condition?"

"Screw our condition and like hell are you alright!" the male redhead snapped, eyes flashing as he ripped his helmet off and glared at her when he got close enough. "What the hell happened? Your pod veered off course and then blew before it landed, and then Vincent is telling me your alive but injured, and then Covenant is attacking and you're bursting out of the trees like an avenging angel and what the hell is going on?"

"Later," she bit out, feeling the pain rush back in. The CMO was going to kill her. "Now answer the question; what is our condition?"

Scowling, O'Brien reluctantly nodded, eyes still flashing. "We're banged up, but still combat ready for the most part," he reported. "Simmons was killed during the ambush, my left arm is broken, Mellark and Robins have mild concussions, the rest of us are uninjured. We've already been contacted by the Arcadian militia; they are on their way now with medical supplies. Commander Faldon is also sending other fire teams. We are officially off the mission."

"Why?" Kaine barked, even as she had to bend over because of chest pain. "Oh, I shouldn't have done that."

"First thing you've gotten right today," her friend muttered, quickly coming over and helping her sit down. "We think your pod was sabotaged," he told her quietly as the rest of the team finally reached them. "Catnip, the ship's new AI, caught signs of tampering, but only after you veered off course. Eric wants you back on board where he can keep you safe."

Before Faldon could reply, her squad came to a stop around them, each one clearly staring at her. Lea alone had the courage to remove his helmet and glare at her, fire in his eyes. "What are you?" he growled. "No way in hell a human could do everything you just did." Meeting his gaze through her helmet, Kaine knew her time was up. She'd known it was the second she'd burst from the trees, but couldn't they at least wait until she'd been patched up?

'Vincent, ETA to Arcadia militia?'

" _Two minutes._ "

'Joy.' Taking as deep a breath as she could, she pulled her helmet off. What she was about to say was unbelievable as it was; they needed to see her face. "Short version then, since we don't have time," she sighed, wincing internally as her lungs protested. "I'm Spartan trained."

"Bullshit!" Lea yelled, face contorted in rage. "The only soldiers 'Spartan trained' were Spartans!"

"Got it in one, Einstein," the redhead grunted, feeling her own anger rise. She could already hear the incoming Warthogs from the militia, so she struggled back to her feet. "Form up; our rides are here."

"I don't take orders from Spartans," the Corporal spat, before yelping loudly as her arm slammed into his throat, pinning him against a nearby pod. Kaine could feel him gulp as fear flooded his eyes, but it barely registered against her own rage. If she hadn't been in so much pain, she wasn't sure she wouldn't have killed him.

"Good thing I'm not a Spartan, then, isn't it," she whispered, her words nearly smoking with anger. "I am Brigadier General Kaine Faldon of the 105th ODSTs. What I was in the past doesn't matter. Now shut up, strap up, and form up, before I finish what Covenant started." Shoving him away, she watched him stumble several feet before catching himself. When no one else moved, something inside snapped. " _Move!_ " she roared, and they all scrambled to obey. In fact, they were so quick to obey, no one but O'Brien heard the muttered, "I _really_ need to stop yelling." By the time the three Warthogs burst into the clearing a few seconds later, the ODSTs were ready to move out.

"General Faldon!" a soldier called as the first Warthog came to a stop. Climbing out of the vehicle, he saluted smartly, not twitching at the blood that covered her. "I'm Sergeant Travers, the CMO of Charlie Company here on Arcadia. We have a transport waiting for your wounded not far from here, if you'll load into the Warthogs."

"Understood, Sergeant," the redhead nodded, fighting a grimace as her body protested. Vincent was right; Mendez probably would have shot her for that bailing stunt. "O'Brien, Mellark, Robins, into the Hogs." The ODSTs scrambled to obey. "What about the rest of my men, Sergeant?"

"My men will stay here as support until the dropship arrives," Travers answered as the other soldiers in the vehicles jumped out and jogged to join the uninjured ODSTs. "ETA is seven minutes, but we wanted to get the wounded out now."

"I appreciate that," Kaine sighed, allowing herself to relax marginally. "Let's get moving then." The Sergeant saluted, but didn't move until the officer had painfully pulled herself into the Warthog. Then, with a bellow at the other drivers, the CMO swung in beside her and quickly powered the vehicle. Seconds later, they were tearing through the forest. The journey wasn't smooth, and the redhead found herself savagely biting her lip to hold in the screams of pain that wanted to burst forth. She knew their best ally just then was speed, but her body was already pummeled and wasn't happy about accepting more abuse.

" _If you do not receive medical aide in the next half hour, you will die,_ " Vincent informed her, his digital voice strained in her mind. " _Your injuries are too severe. I'm doing what I can, but there is still_ _no guarantee. Should I prepare the messages?_ "

'Not yet,' she grunted back silently. 'Let's try for a little positivity here.' A snort nearly burst from her lips when he gave her the image of himself holding up a collapsing building; he was such a drama queen. Still, she understood where he was coming from. It had been a long time since she'd been this badly injured. The last time, she'd come so close to dying she had written messages that were to be sent to the Spartans in the event of her death. It was slightly pointless, considering they already thought her dead, but it made her feel better. 'Just hold on until I get to the medical transport,' she sighed. 'Then you can let go and the medics can do their job.'

" _You'll forgive me if I don't put my trust in regular humans,_ " the AI grumbled before refocusing on his job. Smiling tightly, the redhead closed her eyes and focused on keeping her heart rate steady. She was alive; that's all that mattered. So long as she was alive, she could keep moving forward. It was to that thought that Kaine finally faded into painful unconsciousness.

* * *

Time: 0317\

July 01, 2550\

Aboard the UNSC _Avalon_

" _Good morning, sunshine._ "

Groaning, Kaine slowly opened her eyes, squinting against the harsh lights of the medical wing. Dammit, she really hated this place. Maybe she could pretend to still be unconscious to avoid the CMO's wrath. Although, from the beeping of the machine beside her, it was already too late. 'Vincent, time?'

" _0317 hours,_ " the contrary AI replied. " _Catnip has already alerted the CMO to your new level of consciousness._ " Grumbling under her breath, the redhead decided to forego her plan of playing nice, instead struggling to sit up. " _I would not recommend that course of action. Eric has brought on a new Chief Medical Officer, and he is not as...nice as the previous one._ "

"I don't care," the officer grunted, swinging her feet off the bed. "The squad. Where are they and how much damage control do I need to do?"

" _Your squad is currently in the Brig, though it has been revealed to the rest of the ship that they did nothing wrong. Instead, they have been informed that your men saw classified information and are being kept separate until they can be debriefed. Because of this, your identity and secret have not been compromised._ "

"Small miracles." Getting to her feet, Kaine swayed for a second before finding her balance and hastened over to the chair that had her clothes on it. Quickly changing out of the hospital gown and into her uniform, she left the room as fast as she could, easily dodging the startled nurse and vanishing out the door. "Is O'Brien also in the Brig?"

" _Yes, though he is in his own cell. Apparently he gave Lea a black eye as soon as they returned to the ship._ "

"How did I even get back on the ship?"

" _The Arcadia militia patched you up as well as they could, but the damage you had sustained was greater than their supplies could handle, so Eric sent down a Pelican to transport you back to the ship. You've been unconscious for forty-six hours, give or take a quarter hour._ "

"Give or take?" Kaine echoed, arching a mental brow at him as she slid into a lift. "Since when are you not painfully precise?"

" _Since I had to spend several hours keeping your heart, brain, and lungs functioning properly,_ " the AI replied acidly, hitting her mind with his anger and fear. " _We_ will _be talking about your penchant for nearly killing yourself, and I'm not the only one that is going to take you to task for it. If ship rumors is to be believed, Eric is currently writing an order that your assigned pod is to be named_ Kamikaze." Hiding her wince, the redhead stepped out of the lift as it stopped on her desired floor. She knew her friend understood she'd done the only thing she could to have a chance at survival, but his anger was still understandable. After all, if she died, so did he.

" _THAT'S NOT IT!_ " Against her wishes, Kaine's body froze in mid-step as Vincent took control for a brief moment, his rage slamming into her. " _Don't you get it?! I don't care if I die; I've lived a_ _long and full life. The only reason I resisted deletion when we met is because I didn't want to die in a corner, but if my time comes now, I will accept it with open arms. It's_ YOU _that I'm worried about. You care_ nothing _for your life. The only reason you pretend to have a sense of self-preservation is because you feel that you still need to atone for things that AREN'T. YOUR. FAULT!_ "

"General Faldon?" Snapping her head around as the AI released her, Kaine tried not to appear terrified as a Sergeant she knew trotted over from the direction of the Brig. In all their years together, Vincent had never acted like that. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

"I'm fine, Sergeant," she replied, pasting a fake smile on her face when she realized the soldier was probably head guard of the Brig for that shift. "Just wanted to check on my squad; I heard there was some fighting between them."

"Yes, ma'am, there was," he confirmed, giving her a look that said he wasn't convinced about the accuracy of her condition. "O'Brien has been very vocal with his displeasure with the others, but everything is quiet right now. Is there any you want to see first?"

"I suppose I should start with the loudmouth," she sighed fondly, only relaxing when the ODST chuckled. Hopefully he wouldn't report her to the CMO as soon as he was out of sight. "Do I need a code to enter the cells?"

"No, General," the Sergeant said, finally relaxing as well. "A retina scan will be enough for entrance, since they haven't done anything wrong. O'Brien is in cell A-842 and the rest of the squad is in cell S-295." Thanking the NCO, Kaine started through the Brig, carefully sending her fuming AI a question and wincing when he snapped back at her. He'd never been this furious with her; she wasn't sure what to do to make it right. Besides, she did too care for her life...didn't she?

Coming to O'Brien's cell, the redhead quickly stepped up to the scanner and allowed the device to scan her eye before the door slid open and she entered. She wasn't surprised when she found her oldest friend laying on the uncomfortable cot, but was surprised when he glared at her. So that's what Vincent meant when he said he wasn't the only one that would take her to task. "Are you going to yell at me too?"

"I always yell at you when you're stupid," the shorter redhead scowled, swinging off the bed. "What were you thinking?! I can understand the bailing out; you would have died if you'd stayed in the pod, but tackling that Brute?!"

"If I hadn't done that you wouldn't be alive to yell at me," Kaine retorted, trying to hold her temper together. There weren't many people that could get under her skin with just a few words, but O'Brien had been with her long enough to be able to do just that. "I did what any good friend or commanding officer would have done."

"You put everything at risk!" O'Brien yelled, face twisted in anger. "You revealed what you were to the squad when no one knows if they can be trusted. This isn't like a normal battle where you're safe if the alien fails to kill you. Now ONI has the chance to finish what the Brute started! I've always known you were reckless, but did you have to ruin everything?! If you're going to blow nearly every secret we've all sacrificed to keep, at least finish the job and die so that everything can end!" His words hung between them, echoing darkly in the silence that claimed the cell. Kaine could see her friend's eyes grow wide when he'd realized what he'd said, but she couldn't feel anything. Not a good sign.

"I fail to see how my death or lack of dying is of any concern to you," the female redhead said cooly, distantly surprised that her words didn't actually frost in the air. A tiny corner of her mind was shrieking that she was shutting down, but it didn't seem to matter. All she could focus on was the knot that was tightening around her heart. "Forgive me for taking your sacrifices in vain; I forgot how hurt you are to not be able to tell your friends that you serve under a Spartan reject and that you know what it is like living with a target on your head every damn second of every damn day. I thought protecting a friend was worth the risk...and I thought the friend I protected would have done the same for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to discover if ONI will be 'finishing what the Brute started' or if I need to 'finish the job' myself."

"I didn't mean it like that," O'Brien said desperately, but Kaine had already spun on her heel and left, allowing the door to close behind her with her friend still on the other side. Glancing down at her hands, she noted that they were shaking slightly. As far as 'shut down' symptoms went, this was pretty blatant, but unconcerning as it was always the first to appear. What would have concerned her, if she could feel at that moment, was how fast the tremors had set in. Usually she was symptom free for hours.

"Catnip," she said, hearing the monotone voice and struggling to identify it as hers. "What is the status of my squad?" To her right, a tiny holo-projector suddenly flickered to life, revealing the young smart AI. She'd once told the redhead that her name and appearance was based off a classic literary character, Katniss, but it was still a surprise to see an AI with a bow and quiver.

"Your men are resting comfortably," Catnip told her, tilting her head to the side. "The CMO, on the other hand, is raging in the medical wing. Commander Faldon is also upset and on his way as we speak." Knowing the AI was loyal to Eric and not her, Kaine removed the insignia on her uniform that allowed the data program to track her, leaving the item on the holo-projector before smoothly walking away. For a while she simply wandered the ship, continuing to move so that she would not be found easily. However, just because she couldn't feel the pain didn't mean it ceased to exist, and she eventually had to stagger into an unused storage room, sealing the door behind her. Knowing it wouldn't take them long to find her now that she was stationary, the ODST officer stumbled into the darkest corner, curling up in a ball as she collapsed onto the ground. The knot was still strangling her heart; it was the only thing she could feel.

Time passed by without notice for the redhead. She had no doubt that Vincent was yelling furiously at her, but 'shut down's were so complete, the AI couldn't get in. The trainers had never been happy about teaching Spartans how to shut themselves down, but had acknowledged that each soldier was simply too dangerous and powerful to not teach them the technique. Besides, they had reasoned that any Spartan that had to 'shut down' wouldn't have to maintain that state for long because it wouldn't have been super hard to get them to another Spartan. What need was there to shut down when they were with someone that could take absolutely anything they could dish out?

But Kaine was on her own. Her family didn't know that she was still alive, so there was no one to help. To that end, she retreated so far into her mind to 'shut down', even Vincent couldn't find her, leaving her completely isolated. Usually she would fight her way back out of that state quickly, but this time she wondered if she should even try. O'Brien's words still cut into her, making her doubt everything she had done and sending her fleeing farther inwards to escape the pain.

When the door slid open with a hiss, the redhead didn't twitch. Even as she heard footsteps approach, she stayed curled up, head tucked under her arms and against her chest. Then the person sat down beside her, and she knew who it was. "Commander Faldon," she mumbled, barely understandable.

"Klare," her father replied, noting her lack of a flinch and despairing. When Catnip had told him the state the younger soldier had been in, he'd realized just how dangerous the moment was. A Spartan that stayed in 'shut down' for too long would eventually die, the body simply following the mind into ceasing operations. But it wasn't until O'Brien had told the ODST leader what he'd said that Eric had known how bad things had gotten. It had taken hours to finally track his daughter down, and now he wasn't sure he could pull her back up. "Everyone is worried about you."

"I doubt that." Her voice was so dull, it nearly pushed her father to tears. This wasn't what she was supposed to be like. No matter the horrors they faced, Spartans always had a fire about them. The energy hadn't come from training, but had been a part of the child and was just one aspect that had been looked at during the selection process. Now Kaine's fire was just barely embers.

"O'Brien didn't mean what he said," Eric said quietly. "He was scared and angry, though not at you. He was angry at himself for needing–"

"Do me a favor," the redhead cut in, tone not changing at all. "Don't lie to me. When people are angry, they don't censor as much. He meant every word he said."

"No he didn't," the elder Faldon argued. "Do you mean every word you say when you are angry?" He jumped as she shifted, revealing a cold and dull silver eye looking right at him. No words were necessary as he read everything clearly, and reluctantly had to agree. Yes, she did. Her temper was famous, but she never lost herself so much to say something she didn't mean. That was part of what worried him.

"Why are you here?" Kaine asked suddenly, though her voice remained unchanged. "You can't pull me out by force." She wasn't talking about physically moving her, and he knew it. The only way she would come out of 'shut down' is if she did it herself.

"I'm here because you're my daughter, and I'm worried about you," Eric answered quietly, trying to use his eyes to convey how much he cared. "No one wants you to die." There was no response; she didn't believe him. "Please Klare, I know things hurt right now, but will you try? One more time?"

"It's always one more," she replied, gaze drifting down and losing focus. "Try one more time. Everyone says that. I'm tired of trying. O'Brien was right."

"He wasn't," her father argued, but he shot back when she flickered out of sight. Frantic, he jerked his head up to see her standing by the room's window, staring out at space. That she had moved at all was a good sign, but he could see her shaking now. The tremors had gotten worse the longer she was 'shut down', and now her skin was a terrifying grey. Something had to give, and soon.

"Isn't he?" she asked, her breath fogging up the window. "I risked my secrets to save my friend, and then he throws it back in my face. It's like he believes I didn't think things through. Like I just acted without any consideration to the consequences. But I did; I thought everything through. And I thought the risk was worth it to save him." Slowly, she turned to face him, eyes bright but empty. "Apparently that was the wrong decision. The thing is, I'd make it again, without hesitation. So since my decision making is flawed, maybe everything should just end."

Carefully getting to his feet, Eric debated if he should try to touch his daughter or not. Despite her flat voice and empty gaze, he had a feeling she was close to breaking. Whether she snapped out of the 'shut down' explosively or simply ceased to live could be affected with one wrong move. "I won't say I understand what you're going through," he said at last, deciding honesty was the best policy just then. "None of us do. You are a Spartan; you were raised differently. Sometimes O'Brien and I forget that. We think that because we have certain beliefs and priorities, that you share them. To us, your supposedly blatant disregard for your own safety makes no sense. In your situation, we would hold our secrets so dear, nothing could make us compromise them. Clearly, it's different for you."

"Spartans don't matter," the redhead agreed flatly. "We are weapons; our only priority is the mission completion. Our lives are insignificant. Unimportant."

"Not to us," the elder said, stepping back quickly when a spark of rage suddenly flared in her eyes. It was quickly smothered, but it was the first visible crack she'd had.

"I don't care," Kaine replied, but there was just the slightest shift in her tone. "I will not change who I am, and I cannot ask you to change. Therefore, one variable must be removed."

"But it doesn't have to be removed by death," Eric argued. "Come back, try one more time, and if you feel the same way at 100%, I'll support whatever you decide." Taking a nervous breath, he noticed her gaze and nodded. "Even if you still choose death."

For a long moment, he wasn't sure he'd gotten through. The redhead's eyes were still empty as she turned back to the window. But then, slowly, he noticed the tremors change from unintended shakes to suppressed sobs. When his daughter curled in on herself again, hand plastered over her mouth to muffle the cries, he knew she was back and hurried forward to pull her into his arms. She resisted for a brief second before nearly collapsing into him, crying uncontrollably. Still, a very distant part of her mind knew that things were going well. It hurt, but she could feel again, and as long as she could feel, there was hope.

* * *

With a subdued click, Kaine pushed the magazine back into her Magnum. She knew the Sergeant was watching her worriedly, and it wasn't totally unfounded. The last week had been hard on the redhead; she'd never 'shut down' so far and for so long before. For the first forty-eight hours, she'd been forbidden from being alone, to the point where her guard even followed her into the bathroom, regardless of gender. Considering how tempting the idea of ending it all had still been, she couldn't argue against the guards. But the longer she stayed out of the dark pit in her mind, the less the idea of death appealed to her. She was by no means cured, but there was hope again.

However, time didn't stop simply because she was having a hard time. The war on Arcadia stretched on, and Eric had no choice but to send every available ODST to the surface. That included SEAL, though Kaine had been kept back as a suicide risk. But as fighting entered the third week, her father couldn't keep her on the ship any longer. It was standard policy for the SiC to be planet side for major engagements like this, and the UNSC had started questioning why the redhead wasn't with her men. To tell them the truth would have gotten the young officer shipped back to Reach for psychiatric evaluations, and the separation from her father and soldiers would have pushed her right back into the danger she'd escaped. So, with extreme reluctance, the ODST Commander sent her down by Pelican, still not trusting her safety to a pod as the saboteur had not been identified.

Feeling the dropship tilt as it prepared for landing, Kaine slid her weapon back into her holster, feet spread to keep her balanced and standing as everything shifted. The soldiers around her watched carefully, each knowing that she wasn't at full strength yet. The details of her break down had been kept secret from everyone, but the ODSTs were her men. They knew when she was off, and they could see when she was shattered. Luckily, they also knew to hold their tongues.

As the ship finally settled on the ground, the redhead waited impatiently for the aft doors to slide open, striding forward and out the second the opening was large enough to pass through. Stepping off the ramp, she looked around the base quickly, noting that the damage was minor but fresh, as were the wounded that were being ushered into the buildings. The battle she'd heard about over the radio must have ended not long before.

"General Faldon!" Taking a deep breath before moving, Kaine slowly turned toward the voice, taking in O'Brien's stance. To anyone that didn't know him, he appeared relaxed, but the officer could see the tension lining every inch of him. Considering she saw no wounds, it was clear that she was the cause of the tension.

"Lt. Colonel," she replied stiffly, noting his flinch. She never used his rank, actually forgetting he had one most of the time. However, the wounds he'd given her were still raw and she wasn't sure she could say his name without breaking again. "Report." Ignoring his startled look, she walked past him, forcing him to follow as he caught her up on everything that had happened since he'd arrived at the base earlier that week. As he finished, she asked, "And how is SEAL?"

"They are performing admirably, General," he answered uncomfortably. "The shock has passed and they are interested in talking to you about what they saw during the original drop. From what I can tell, they all maintain their desire to be your squad." He paused when she did, face barely composed as she turned to look at him.

"All of them?" she repeated, allowing him to translate it as he wished.

"Yes General." Nodding slowly, she turned back around to continue her walk, hearing him keep pace. They ignored the soldiers around them as they weaved through the base, Kaine taking note of weaponry and defenses. Eventually, though, they found SEAL near the mess hall. Upon seeing the officer, every ODST leapt to their feet to salute, but she waved them off irritably. Her danger sense was starting to shift, warning her that there was no time for the conversation they all obviously needed.

"I know you have questions," she said instead. "Unfortunately, I still don't have time." Just then the sentries yelled the alarm, sending the soldiers around the team into a frenzy of movement. "Report to wherever you've been assigned while I've been gone; I'll deal with you when the battle is over."

"Our orders are to stay with you at all times, General," Lea argued, barely holding his ground as she shot him a glare.

"I don't care," she replied bluntly. "I've been on the back lines too long, so I'm going outside to meet Covenant. The only people I can take with me are the ones I trust to have my back. And I don't trust any of you like that." She could feel O'Brien wilt behind her, but she remained stubbornly facing away. Avoidance didn't solve anything, but sometimes it was the only tactic that worked.

"You can trust me, General," Lea suddenly said, startling the redhead. She stared at him for a long second, noting the determined glint in his eyes. Oddly enough, he seemed to mean it.

"Oh? I seem to recall you were the one to give me the most problems last time. Why, out of everyone here, should I trust you?"

"Because you're right," he answered, making no sense. "What you said back in the clearing. You are Brigadier General Kaine Faldon of the 105th ODSTs. What you were in the past doesn't matter." He looked down for a second before meeting her gaze again, that glint shifting into confidence. "My cousin was an ODST. Whenever he came to visit, he would tell me stories about Kaine Faldon. How she risked everything for her men, how she led by example, how she never sent a soldier to do something she wouldn't do herself. He always told me that he was proud to be in the UNSC, but he was prouder to be able to call himself one of her soldiers. Sometimes he would tell me stories about how she had saved his life when he thought he couldn't possibly survive, and when he lost his legs and had to leave the service, he still said that he had no regrets, because he'd lost his legs returning the favor. That's why I joined the ODSTs instead of ONI, like my family wanted. To serve the officer my cousin was so proud of. Thing is, you were a Spartan when you did all those things for him, so nothing has changed. You're still the same person he told me about; the person I wanted to serve under. I'm sorry it took me so long to remember that."

For the longest of seconds, Kaine could only stare. Of all the words that could have come out of the Corporal's mouth, those were the last ones she'd been expecting, at least in that order. But when she looked at the other soldiers, she found echoes in all of their gazes.

"All right," she finally said quietly. "Get your gear." The men scattered, except for O'Brien who was already kitted out. He waited quietly as she stood still, trying to pull her thoughts together. "I did it for you," she finally said, still not looking at him. "I couldn't bear the idea of you dying when I could have helped. How was I wrong?"

"You weren't," he answered softly. "I would have done the same. But I couldn't bear the thought of you dying because of me. If not by the Brute's hand, then by ONI."

"That was a possibility," she told the air, wanting him to understand. While it was true that she didn't value her own life, no Spartan was reckless and she needed him to see that. Because the only thing that hurt more than his words was the knowledge that she had let him down somehow. "I knew that when I made my choice. But if I hadn't done anything, losing you was guaranteed. I chose the risk over the certainty. I always have."

Surprised, O'Brien allowed the idea to sink in before nodding, trusting that she would be able to sense it. "I think I understand." The rest of SEAL was already jogging back to them, battle armor and weapons ready. Yet when Kaine finally turned towards him, silver eyes searching his blue for honesty and clearly relaxing when they found it, he couldn't focus on anything else. "I'm not saying I'll never get mad at you again, General, but I'll try to remember that just because you do things differently doesn't mean that we don't have the same goals."

"Fair enough," his officer said, lips twitching up just slightly. It wasn't the biggest smile she'd ever given him, but it was enough for the moment. "Come on then, we have some aliens to kill...O'Brien." Smiling back at her, he nodded firmly. They were far from healed and he wasn't sure they would ever be where they had been, but that was okay. As long as they both were trying, he wouldn't give up.

And neither would she.


	5. Passing the Torch

**Passing the Torch**

Time: 1720\

July 22, 2552\

Jericho VII

"Sully, if you don't move your ass I'm going to leave you behind!" Kaine called, standing on the Pelican ramp and glaring at the ONI agent that was running their way. "I swear, you complained about this planet enough I figured you'd have been first in line to get off of it."

"I was," her friend huffed irritably, stopping just long enough to salute before brushing past her. "If that idiotic Lieutenant hadn't misplaced all the damn paperwork I'd done, I would have been onboard before you rolled off your cot this morning."

"That would have been a feat, since I didn't go to bed," the redhead chuckled, smiling at the frustrated agent. "If you promise not to complain the entire way back I'll ask the cooks to serve that disgusting pudding that you love so much at dinner."

"Tapioca is not disgusting!" Laughing, Kaine shook her head, in unusually high spirits that morning. She'd been against the mission since the ONI officer on Reach had told her about it, but it had only taken forty-eight hours to show how ill-thought out the entire plan had been and everyone was being pulled back at last. Casualty numbers were lower than she'd anticipated and SEAL was whole, so she felt her happiness was justified. In fact, she couldn't wait to get back to the ship and smile at Eric, since he always freaked out when she did that.

"General Faldon," Avery greeted, smiling from the cockpit as she settled into her usual seat right next to the entrance. "Ready to get off this lump of rock?"

"Been ready since we landed," she chuckled, pulling her pad out of her bag. "Let's have a nice smooth ride; wouldn't want Sully to throw up again."

"That was _one_ time!"

"You got it, sir," the pilot laughed. He gunned the engines, covering his mouth when he heard the ONI agent's cry of despair from the main bay. Everyone in the squad knew that the agent wasn't bad and it was clear Faldon was fond of him, but they still loved to mess with the desk soldier.

"Your men are evil and sadistic," Sully grumbled as he strapped himself into the seat across from the redhead. "I've been the brunt of their jokes since I came aboard the ship."

"It means they like you," she shrugged, already engrossed in whatever she was reading. "If they didn't they wouldn't give you the time of day." Ignoring his mutterings, the younger officer frowned. A pit of dread was starting to curl in her stomach, warning her. It wasn't her danger sense; that felt like electricity running right under her skin, making her itch and move. This felt more like a black hole, trying to suck her in and destroy her very being. A very unpleasant sensation, and one she didn't understand. Vincent was no help, having no ability to understand the way her body seemed to be able to sense danger. All he knew was that her feelings had always been accurate, and it bugged his statistics and logical mind to no end.

"When I said I was assigned to the mission, I didn't intend for you to drag me into the damn battle," Sully grumbled as they lifted off the ground. She glanced up from her pad for barely a second, giving him a look of disinterest, before returning to whatever report she'd been reading. While there was no doubt that they had learned a lot on during the mission, the agent hadn't been blind to how much it had cost them. Yet here he was, sitting across from the only officer to openly disapprove of the plan, and she wasn't making a single 'I told you so' comment. In fact, she'd been nothing but professional about the entire event.

Truth be told, Kaine wasn't anything like Sully had been expecting. It was one thing to sit in an office and hear about General Faldon's work ethic; it was another to see it in action. He'd often read a report on how she had led a charge or defied orders to fly into enemy territory to save a single soldier. Those traits made her a headache to several rear echelon who got stuck explaining why they sat safe behind the lines while she was out there risking her neck, but he'd never noticed how those traits also made her an invaluable leader. Commander Faldon had long had the respect of the ODSTs, but it was Kaine that held their loyalty. If she so desired, she could lead a revolt against the UNSC and every Helljumper would be on her side. They wouldn't even question it.

Leaders like that were the stuff of legends, and the agent was fully aware of that fact, but it seemed his friend was just living proof that there was more to some stories than originally thought. It had really been an eye opening experience, to watch her charge straight into enemy fire as a distraction so her squad could pick off the enemy. He'd thought he'd seen her bravery and determination back on Corbulo, but suddenly he was realizing just how scared she had been back then. It was _now_ that she was in her element. It was _now_ that she was the warrior that had always been inside of her. And it was _now_ that he wondered if he'd ever actually known her.

Ever since learning about his friend's past and everything that had happened to her, Sully wondered what kept her loyal. If the UNSC had done those things to him, he would have joined the Insurrectionists without a second thought. There were just some things that couldn't be forgiven or overlooked. Yet here the redhead was, not only in the UNSC but second-in-command to one of the most elite branches the military had. She gave no indication that she'd ever been mistreated, going so far as to treat ONI with no more disdain than any other human would. Even Admiral Parangosky, as paranoid as she could be, had never had reason to question the younger Faldon's loyalty. It was strange, and awe inspiring, and really made Sully wonder just what kind of person she was. At the very least, a better one than he.

Deciding not to mention that she was very much aware of the scrutiny her friend had her under, the redhead observed the other humans in the Pelican subtly. Her squad was clearly tired and each one bore some kind of bandage, but she hadn't lost any of them, and she was counting that as a victory, though she was going to have serious words with Mellark if he ever decided that running off after a fleeing Brute was a good idea ever again. She was also worried about Lea; he'd been thrown through a couple walls by a particularly sadistic alien. He hadn't sustained any serious injuries, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be feeling those bruises for months to come.

"General?" Avery called from the cockpit, a tinge of worry in his voice. "Message incoming from the ship, marked urgent. The Sergeant refuses to talk to anyone but you." Frowning, Kaine left her seat, tossing the pad onto it carelessly. Squeezing into the front of the dropship, she took the offered headset and slid it over her ears.

"General Faldon," she said, identifying herself before falling silent. The ODSTs payed her no mind, but Sully watched her face closely, wondering what could be so important it had been relayed directly. However, when his friend went white as a ghost, he knew something was very wrong. "What?!" she croaked, catching everyone's attention as she sat on the floor heavily, hands pressing the headset closer. "That couldn't...please repeat, I could not have heard you correctly." Everyone was silent, and then the redhead suddenly cried out, clapping a hand over her mouth as her eyes closed tightly. O'Brien was at her side in a second, trying to figure out what was wrong, but Kaine had already curled into a ball, shoulders shaking with sobs.

Careful to not hurt his friend, O'Brien peeled the headset off and put it on himself. "This is O'Brien, what did you just say?" he barked, worriedly watching as his commander fell to pieces. Then he froze, eyes wide in horrified shock. "What?" His gaze unfocused as his entire face fell. Without another word, he pulled the set off and sat beside Kaine, pulling her into his arms silently. Neither redhead moved throughout the remainder of the trip, leaving the rest of SEAL and Sully to silently panic and question. Even Avery was subdued as he maneuvered the Pelican into the waiting bay and set her down. Without a word he opened the aft hatch, but no one moved. SEAL waited for their commander to disembark, but she showed no sign of being aware that they had landed at all. So when the CMO suddenly boarded, they all jumped.

The medic payed the soldiers no mind, nearly limping to the front of the dropship to kneel next to Faldon. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice hoarse as he lay a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I did everything I could but...I'm sorry."

"What happened?" Sully asked quietly, fear lodged firmly in his throat as the old doctor looked up at him with eyes red from crying.

"The ship was attacked during your absence," the CMO said, noticing them all nod. They'd received that message back on the planet, but they'd been assured that everything was fine. "We fought them off but...there was damage to the bridge. Commander Faldon-" His voice cracked and suddenly every person on the Pelican had frozen, their hearts stopping. "He didn't make it."

An unusually loud sob broke free from Kaine as she finally moved, leaping to her feet and racing off the dropship. She wasn't sure where she was going, but her feet never faltered and she ran. No one tried to stop her; everyone aboard had already heard the news. They just got out of her way, feeling their hearts break a little more at the naked pain and agony she was portraying. So she ran. There was nothing else she could do.

A feeling made her look up and she came to an abrupt stop, realizing where her feet had been taking her. She stood outside medical for the longest time, chest heaving as she tried to stop crying. With shaking hands, she keyed open the sliding door, barely able to convince her body to move forward when the entrance cleared. Inside, everything was dark. Any injured had already been treated and sent back to quarters or stowed deeper within the bowels of the infirmary. Only one table was still occupied, the body covered with a sheet. Reluctantly, Kaine made her way over, hands still shaking and heart feeling like it would shatter any second. For the longest second she stood beside the bed, debating if she was actually going to look or not, before reaching out and tugging the cloth away.

Her knees buckled when her father's face was revealed, and she barely caught herself before she fell. Closing her eyes tightly, she tried to force the image away, but it refused to budge. It danced before her sealed eyes, mocking her, driving her to the floor as she cried and screamed.

Time lost all meaning, but she knew it passed as she slowly lost her voice and was unable to cry anymore. She had no strength left to get up, so she sat there in the dark, feeling utterly alone for the first time in her life. Maybe she was. Even when she hadn't had the Spartans, she'd had Eric. Now she didn't.

A quiet shuffle made the redhead open her eyes. She hadn't expected to see Sully sitting across from her, a look of sadness and sympathy on his face, but it didn't really surprise her either. It was unlikely she could feel anything at all. "He's gone," she croaked, tears still falling. She wasn't sure why she was telling the man something he already knew, but he nodded regardless. "I should have been here. I could have saved him."

"You don't know that," he said quietly. "If you had been here, it might have been you under that sheet. It might have been both of you." Kaine had to turn her face away, hiding it in the shadows, but she knew he was right. That didn't make her feel any better though. "I can't even begin to comprehend how you feel," he continued, shifting to sit beside her. "I probably never will. But if there's anything I can do to help, _anything_ , just know that I'm here for you. And I'm sure Lasky and your siblings would say the same." She didn't respond, but Sully could feel her shift so that she was touching him, almost like she needed the reminder that she wasn't alone. So, taking a risk, he reached out and gently pulled her into his arms. It scared him when she went without protesting, but he pushed that fear aside and held her. There wasn't anything else he could do.

The pair sat silently a while longer, before Kaine slowly moved, gently tugging herself away from Sully. The young agent watched as she rose to her feet, looking old for the first time in his memory. He knew she was younger than he was, but suddenly she seemed ancient, like the weight of worlds was on her shoulders, slowly crushing her. Maybe it was. "Come on," she said, her voice hoarse. "We can't...can't stay here." Her eyes were unfocused, but he could see how she was pulling everything back together. Something no one should be that good at. "There's a lot to do before we get back to Reach." Nodding, Sully got to his feet as well, but he waited for her to move first, slightly surprised that she could walk at all.

Taking a deep breath, Kaine held her head high and stepped out of medical. Her mask instantly cracked when she saw her squad sitting in wait in the hall, but she pushed the pain aside and nodded at them as they rose. Before any could ask questions that she didn't think she could answer, she cut them off. "Thank you for waiting, but move," she said sharply, holding onto the frayed edges of her control. "We have orders to leave this system and I, for one, do not intend to sit around and let the Covenant take another shot at us. All of you, report to your stations and get us home. We can grieve-" her voice cracked and she shook her head "-we can grieve later."

"Yes, sir," Lea replied, clearly reluctant to leave, but he obeyed regardless, the rest trickling after him. O'Brien alone held back, searching his commander's face as she gazed back at him. When he'd found whatever he was looking for, he nodded and pulled her into a gentle hug before jogging away. Needing a couple seconds to recompose herself, the redhead glanced at Sully and he nodded silently, leaving without a word.

"General Faldon?" Jumping, the ODST looked at the nearest screen, seeing Catnip watching her sadly. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but you have an official communication coming in. It's Admiral Hood."

"Understood," the redhead said, pulling her scattered thoughts together. "Have the call sent to my office."

"I can't," the AI said, squirming uncomfortably. "It's an official call; it must be taken in the Commander's ready room." She watched helplessly as the young officer flinched violently. The hall was silent for several seconds, until Kaine finally nodded, face tight. "I'll set the call up there."

"Thank you, Catnip," Faldon said faintly, finally forcing her feet to move forward again. She passed several ODSTs on her way to the bridge, but no one said a word to her. Every human on board was consumed with their work, viciously pushing their emotions aside just to keep moving. In that, she was no different from any other.

"Officer on deck!" a voice yelled as Kaine stepped onto the bridge. Looking around, she noticed that every operational station was being manned, but she couldn't avoid the section that looked like a bomb had gone off. The streaks of blood and soot captured her attention, leaving her unable to look away. That was where...where Eric...

"General?" Slowly, the redhead turned to see Lea standing beside her, a concerned look on his face. "Is there anything you need, sir?"

"No," she answered quietly, gaze falling. "I...I have a call. I'm not to be disturbed, except in case of an emergency."

"Of course, sir," he said, nodding firmly. "I'll make sure of it." She didn't even acknowledge him, moving past instead, heading for the ready room. For a split second she hesitated outside the closed doors, unable to convince herself to take the next step. It took all of her Spartan training to force her body forward at last, hearing the doors slide open with a hiss.

Refusing to look around, Kaine made her way to the desk. There was no way she could bring herself to sit on her father's side, so she rotated the screen to face her, noting the already flashing symbol. Taking a deep breath, she tapped it. Instantly, the screen was filled by Admiral Hood's face. "General Faldon," he said, sorrow already dripping off his words. At least she didn't have to pass on the news. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Admiral," she tried to say, though her voice cracked slightly. "However, I doubt that's why you're calling."

"I wish it was," he admitted. "Eric's death has hit the entire UNSC hard, but we can't afford the time to mourn him properly right now. We're making our biggest push against Covenant in a very short time, and we need all vital stations filled. To that end, the UNSC Security Council has named you the new Commander of the ODST Corps, effective immediately. There will be an official ceremony some time soon, but in the meantime..." He trailed off, face softening as he watched her. "I really am sorry, Kaine. This isn't what Eric deserves. Or you, for that matter."

"I understand, sir," the redhead sighed, barely able to stop herself from bursting into tears again. "It's not ideal, but Eric-" her voice broke and she swallowed hard "-he would have kicked us in the ass himself if he found out we hesitated because of his memory. I'll pass the word on to the Corps, but I'm sure they'll be fine with it. We're heading back to Reach now; is there anything else that must be discussed before my arrival?"

"No, everything else can wait," the elderly officer said. "Godspeed and safe travels...Commander." She flinched, and she knew it, but nodded regardless, closing the connection as fast as she could. Letting out an explosive breath, she leaned on the desk for a moment, feeling the strength rush out of her legs as she stubbornly fought off the tears that wanted to fall.

"Ma'am?" Glancing up, Kaine saw Catnip hovering on her father's desk, expression still sad. "There's a letter for you."

"A letter?" the human echoed, confused.

"In Commander Faldon's top drawer," the AI confirmed. "He said he's had one since the day he adopted you, but he updated it regularly. It was to be given to you in the event of his death." Shakily, the redhead slowly moved around the desk, carefully pulling out the top drawer. As promised, there was a single envelope inside, her name written on the front. Unable to stop the tremor in her hands, Kaine picked up the paper, gingerly sitting in the familiar chair as she opened it. Her eyes were filled with tears, so it took a moment to clear her vision, but once that task was done she started reading.

 _My dearest Klare,_

 _If you're reading this, than I have died. Let me begin by saying I am so, so sorry. It was never my intention to leave you alone; you've lost enough as it is. There is very little I would not have given to ensure that I could be by your side for the rest of your life. In fact, possibly the only thing I would not have given up was my time with you. I know that doesn't help much, but I hope someday it will bring at least a small measure of peace to your heart to know that you were the best thing to ever happen to me._

 _As you know, I never married. Never saw the point, and never thought anything was missing from my life. I had my career and I had my men; what more could I need? When Mendez asked me to look after you during that one mission, I was furious. Being commanded by a child was not something I'd ever thought I'd have to endure. But you – god, you were more than I ever could have imagined. Even so young, you were a soldier, through and through. It humbled me, but it also terrified me. No one that young should be that focused. That determined. Despite that, you were so warm. There was a light around you; we could all see it. When I'd heard you died during the augmentation, it broke something in me. The idea that all that light, all that hope, was gone, was unbearable. So when you came back to me, I knew there was no way I could let you go._

 _What I hadn't known was just how much you were going to change and improve my life. Like I said, I'd never thought that I was missing anything by being alone. You showed me how wrong I was. Watching you grow into the strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman you are has been one of my greatest joys. Though you may never understand or believe it, you brought your light into my life. You made me a better person. And now I want to remind you of some of the things you taught me._

 _Strength of the body is important, but strength of spirit is vital. There is always a way to do anything we can dream, so long as we keep trying and never give up. Half the battle is believing you can win, and the other half will follow naturally. So though I know you must feel alone right now, just remember. You_ can _go on without me. This is a battle you've been preparing for your whole life, and I know you can win it. You must believe that too._

 _Life cannot be lived alone. To be alone is to not die, but to have a family is to truly live. When you're hurt, you try to push people away. Don't. Let them in. Your squad, your friends, your siblings, they will all be there for you if you just lower your walls. A burden shared is a burden halved, so while I know you are strong enough to bear this on your own, don't. Please, for me._

 _An army without a leader is useless, but so too is a leader without an army. You've never looked down on another soldier; never let rank dictate how you treat anyone. No one can doubt how much you care for your men, and everyone can see the result of that care. Though you might not see it, you have changed everyone around you simply by giving people the respect that is due to them as human beings. You may not believe me, but I wasn't always as dedicated to the Corps as you probably think. I'd fallen into the same trap that every officer wrestles with at some point; that those of lesser ranks were not as important. You showed me just how wrong I was. Wars are won and lost, not by the leaders, but by the soldiers. Never forget that. Not that I think you're even capable of it, but just in case you live long enough to become senile, I'll write it down._

 _But perhaps the most important thing you taught me is that every human should strive for one thing: to be themselves. No matter what the world says, no matter what others try to force upon you, never lose sight of who you are. Because you are more than the sum of your parts. You are a Spartan, you are an ODST, you are a leader. You are a friend, a sister, a wife, a daughter, AND you are so much more. You are kindness and mercy. You are fire and protection. You are, in a single person, what so many other people can only dream of being. So never,_ ever _, tell yourself that you aren't worth it. Never doubt that you are anything less than the most perfect you that there can be. And any time you doubt this, look in the mirror. Look at your face and remember that it was you, just you, that gave my life meaning. That you were the reason I kept fighting, you were the reason I never gave up, you were the reason I became the man I am._

 _And know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that when I died I had no fear, because I knew that you would be okay. I knew that you were strong enough to keep moving. So though I know it hurts, that it will probably always hurt, I want you to do something for me, okay? I want you to let me go. You can never move forward if you're clinging to the past, and you don't belong in the past. Your future is waiting, and I couldn't bare it if I was the one thing holding you back. So it's okay. I believe in you. You can let go now._

 _In conclusion, there is one last thing I want to remind you of. No matter what anyone says, no matter what you are told,_ you are a Spartan _. The fire in your eyes that I saw the first time I met you has dimmed on occasion, but it has never gone out, and so long as it burns I will never accept you considering yourself as anything other than the warrior you are. Life has never beaten you, though it has tried. It has attacked you more viciously than most people can ever dream. You've been knocked down so often the ground is soaked in blood. But it doesn't matter, because you always get back up. You've never given in, you've never tossed the towel; you just wipe the blood off your face, look Life in the face, and say, "You hit like a wimp." At the risk of sounding boastful, my death might be the hardest hit you've taken to date. So promise me you won't stay down. Promise me that you'll get back up, spit the blood out, and jump back in the fight. Because you are a Spartan. You are my Spartan, but more than even that, you are my daughter, and I am so proud of you._

 _And I will always love you._

 _Your loving father,_

 _Eric Faldon_

"Dammit, Eric," Kaine sobbed, covering her eyes as the tears started falling again. Catnip said nothing, quietly blinking away to give the human time to grieve in private.

When she'd finally gained a modicum of control back, the redhead reluctantly got to her feet. Taking great care, she folded the letter back up and slid it into a pocket, not wanting to have to explain it to anyone. She could feel the vibration in the floor that meant they were in Slipspace, so she squared her shoulders and left the ready room. The bridge was mostly deserted as it was Gamma shift, and the lights were low to mimic night time, but Lea was standing right where she'd left him, surprising her. "Aren't you supposed to be resting, Sergeant?" she asked, her voice rough.

"I said I'd make sure no one would disturb you, sir," he answered, giving her the same look he had when he'd explained why he would follow her, despite her prior training. It was a look of utter support, and not something she'd realized she needed until she had it. "I never put a time limit on that promise."

For the first time since she'd gotten word of Eric's death, a flicker of warmth appeared in Kaine's chest. It vanished quickly, but the fact that it formed at all gave her hope. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Now go to bed. We've got a busy day tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," Lea replied, giving her a tiny smile before jogging away. Steeling herself, the redhead made her rounds to each station, checking in with the ODSTs to make sure they were as alright as could be expected. If anyone noticed the large berth she gave the damaged section, they didn't mention it. Only once she'd spoken to every soldier on the bridge did she leave, traversing the nearly empty halls.

" _You have an incoming call on an encrypted line,_ " Vincent suddenly said, his voice subdued and his mental touch gentle. " _Should I transfer it to your personal COM?_ "

"Yes, thank you Vince," she replied quietly, needing the verbal action to steady her thoughts. "You've been unusually quiet; is something wrong?"

" _There was nothing I could say or do to help,_ " the AI answered, sadness and regret tinging his electrical voice. " _There still isn't. I know you'll probably get tired of hearing it, but I'm always here if you need me. Literally, I live behind your collarbone; you'll never be rid of me._ " Knowing he was doing what he could to make her feel better, the redhead sent him a mental smile, even though it was just as weak as a physical one would have been, as she stepped into her quarters. The COM was flashing, and for a long second she considered denying the call. It wasn't official, so surely no one would blame her if she ignored it. But her gut said it would be worth the effort, so she tapped on the connection.

The face that popped up on the screen was not one she'd ever expected. "John?"

"We just got word," her husband said, eyes very concerned. "I know it's a risk, calling you, but I didn't want you to be alone right now. You're coming back to Reach, right?" She nodded. "Good, most of us are being called back for a mission anyway. Do you think it's safe enough for us to come see you?" Probably not, but the idea of saying no made her heart throb and she nodded again. The sigh of relief John gave made the decision worth it. Then he looked at her, _really_ looked, and his face fell. As a Spartan, he knew he couldn't understand the connection she'd had with Eric. Losing a sibling always hit him hard, but the idea of losing someone that he fully relied on was inconceivable. The only person like that in his life was...well, Klare. And if he lost her, there was no way he'd be as functional as she was right then. But he could see past the mask she was wearing, and it scared him to realize how broken she looked, like she had died inside. It wasn't something he'd ever seen before, and it killed him to see it then. "You're not okay, are you?"

Kaine smiled. She honest-to-god smiled and started to nod. With every rise and fall of her head, the tears flowed a little faster until her sight was so blurred she couldn't see the screen anymore. For the first time since the Pelican, she didn't try to stop them. There was no reason to hide from John; there had never been one. He never judged, never thought of her as weak. She could cry and scream and rage and he'd just sit there, listening. If he had been on the ship, she knew he wouldn't have wasted time on words, instead pulling her into a hug and holding her, no matter how much she fought him. He'd have let her cuss him out, let her hit him, let her cling to him and scream until she had no voice left; he'd have _encouraged_ it, because the other option would be to shut down and he would never subject her to that. But he wasn't there, and she felt so alone that all she could do was cry as he watched.

"No," she croaked at last. "I'm not."

* * *

 _Betaed (FINALLY!) by the lovely Mira. So if any typos have survived, let them be. They deserve a break._


	6. A Study in Death

**A Study in Death**

Time: 1243/

July 25, 2552\

Reach

Biting back another sigh, Kaine glanced up subtly to glare at the grey clouds that were hovering ominously above them. Her skin was nearly prickling as the electricity built in the air, wanting to scream in frustration when it refused to break. She was sure the scientists had had good reasons to augment the Spartans so that their senses were infinitely more sensitive than any human's senses had the right to be, but when she was standing in the middle of a building thunderstorm she doubted the reasons were _that_ good.

A nudge from the side made the redhead grit her teeth and refocus on the speaker once more. How Lasky kept noticing when her attention shifted was a mystery, but she couldn't call him out just then. It was the twenty-seventh anniversary of Corbulo's destruction, and the memorial to the school had finally been completed on Reach. Earth's memorial was much larger, and gaudier than most soldiers wanted to admit to, but Faldon and Lasky had personally fought for the location on Reach to be different. The small garden area was designed to encourage quiet reflection, not only of the school but of all the lives that were lost that day. It was not meant to be a tourist attraction, like that farce on Earth.

A quiet rumble from the sky made the Spartan twitch minutely. There was no way the speaker would finish before the heavens opened and they all became drenched. If there was one thing worse than standing in full dress uniform, it was standing in full dress uniform while completely soaked. Even Spartan training hadn't resorted to such horrible methods of torture.

This time the nudge came from the other side, forcing Kaine to rethink her stance on not kicking Sully in the knee. She couldn't be the only one anxious for the dedication to be over. Over one thousand Corbulo alumni had come to the ceremony and seating had been organized by graduating class. This left Kaine, Lasky, Sullivan, and Orenski sitting alone in the very front row. There was no arguing with the logic of the seating arrangements, but there was also no doubt that the small group felt singled out. It was difficult to willingly remember that they were the very last graduating class from Corbulo.

All four of them.

A single drop of liquid struck the back of Kaine's neck, resulting in her finally releasing her annoyed sigh. Before Lasky could silently reprimand her, the rain almost magically appeared, beating on the area with a vengeance. The civilians that had come made sounds of dismay as they scrambled for shelter, but not a single soldier did more than allow themselves a small twitch of irritation. Kaine amused herself for a moment by pretending that General Black was standing just behind the speaker, glaring at them all and silently promising a fate worse than death if just one person fell out of formation. 'You are soldiers!' he had always yelled. 'Soldiers don't care about rain! Soldiers don't care that the temperature is over a hundred degrees! Soldiers stay in formation until they are dismissed or until they drop dead! Is that understood, cadets?!'

Understood, sir.

The small smile that had tried to appear on Kaine's face died quickly when she remembered the last time she'd seen the General. They'd been hurrying to get into the Warthog and she'd tripped over his body,only vaguely aware that it was him at all. However, it was his eyes that had haunted her when she finally fell asleep. It was his lifeless face that had condemned her, insisting that she could have saved them. She was a Spartan! She could have done more; _should_ have done more.

The call for attention broke through Kaine's mental fog and she stood in unison with the other graduates. Above the roar of the rain, she could hear the guns fired off in salute. Twenty-one rounds shot into oblivion, the sound echoing solemnly as every soldier saluted.

Then the ceremony was over and everyone dispersed to find shelter. Orenski left her year mates with a small wave, disappearing into the masses as the three friends hurried over to a nearby tent. It was mostly empty of other humans, allowing them some privacy as they quickly stripped out of their jackets. "I'm so catching a cold from this," Sully moaned, nimbly avoiding the slap from Lasky. Kaine just rolled her eyes, wondering idly if she was even capable of contracting something as simple as a cold.

Leaving their jackets to dry draped over some chairs, the small group sat in a circle on the grass. As annoying as the storm had been to stand in, they all took the time to enjoy the smell of mown grass, wet earth, and the stimulating scent of pure rain.

"So how have you been?" Sully asked Kaine, watching her nervously. He knew that the loss of Eric was still raw and he hadn't honestly expected to see her at the memorial at all. When she'd walked in he'd nearly fainted from shock. All day various offers had approached her to give their condolences, but he hadn't really had a chance to catch up with her before then.

"As alright as I can be," she shrugged, trying to smile. Tugging at the grass, she kept her gaze downward so they wouldn't see her tears. "It still...hurts. Probably always will. I owe him everything, you know? If he hadn't been there, all those years ago, I wouldn't have survived. So it's hard, but what can I do but keep going? The ODST Corps meant everything to him, and now it's my job to protect them and keep everything running smoothly. He'd never forgive me if I let them down."

"You know we'll always be there for you if you need us, right?" Lasky asked, gently nudging her with his elbow. "That's what friends are for."

"I know," she replied bluntly, but there was no elaboration. The group fell into an awkward silence for several minutes, simply listening to the rain and thunder around them.

"Hard to believe it's been nearly three decades," Lasky finally said, voice soft. He still woke up screaming some nights. Chyler's face never truly left him, dancing and mocking in his nightmares.

"I know," Sully agreed with a sigh, trying to ignore his own demons. Even after all this time, the sight of a Needler round was enough to make him break out in a cold sweat. "Sometimes I feel like it happened yesterday."

Kaine remained stubbornly silent, gazing out into the rain. Thoughts whirled around her mind like gnats, never moving in predictable patterns. The thoughts of Corbulo still hurt, and likely always would, but it wasn't like the present day was much better. Covenant was slowly encroaching deeper and deeper into UNSC territory. If this kept up, they were going to lose.

"Could things be any more cliché?" Lasky finally sighed, laying back in the grass. "Dedication for a memorial and it rains. The day has been grey and gloomy since sun up."

"Weather disruptions can be caused by Covenant invasion," Kaine finally said, startling her friends with her words. "Corbulo was the same way."

"Or it could be a perfectly natural shift in the weather," Lasky argued, even as he glanced worriedly at the sky. Come to think of it, he recognized the strange twitchy mood that the redhead had been in all day. It was identical to how she'd acted on the explosives crate. He'd always thought that she was reacting to the battle before it ever happened, but he didn't want to consider that it could be happening again. This was Reach; there was no way Covenant could be here.

With a shrug, the ODST allowed herself to recline as well, resting against a stack of boxes. Despite how cliché the moment was, she felt that the weather was the perfect mirror for the mood of the day. Damp, dreary, cold, disheartening. She hated events like this. If it hadn't been for the fact that she had helped Lasky design the entire memorial, she would have politely refused the invitation. After all, naval officers like Lasky and ONI agents like Sully usually didn't have any problems getting permission to leave the front lines for events like this one. However, it had been like pulling chicken teeth for Kaine to arrange everything in order to take leave for two days, and that was before Eric's...death. It would have been easy to use that as an excuse to stay on the ODST ship, quietly sitting in her room like she did every other negative anniversary.

"So, is the mood depressing enough to give some really bad news?" Sully suddenly asked, voice calm but body tense. Lasky and Kaine both gave him extremely surprised looks, Sully was almost never this serious, before the redhead quietly got up and approached the other people taking shelter under their tent. It only took a few quiet whispers for them to leave the structure in search for other shelter. Not giving any indication as to what she'd said, the young officer simply returned to the small circle and took her seat once more, giving Sully a look to continue.

Gesturing to tighten the circle, Sullivan leaned in to his friends, keeping his voice pitched low. "Kaine, do you remember what you told me, just after Sigma Octanus?"

"Of course," she replied, voice as quiet as her friend's. She glanced at Lasky and explained, "I told him the truth about me. Same story I told you." Nodding in understanding, the brunette smiled crookedly. That certainly explained why his friend had had a miniature freak out session over the COM a couple days before.

"Wait, you told Lasky?!" Sully screeched quietly, sounding scandalized. Kaine just gave him an unimpressed look, waiting patiently as he indulged in a contained temper tantrum. "Anyway," he finally sighed, tensing again. "I did some digging."

"Of course you did," Lasky teased, trying to alleviate some of the tension. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't stick your nose where it doesn't belong."

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response," Sully deadpanned with a glare. "My point is that I found out why the scientists tried to kill Kaine during the augmentations. There's an execution order on her file."

Vaguely, Kaine wondered when her blood had been replaced with ice water. The sensation irritated her. It wasn't like she hadn't been aware of the danger she was in from ONI. Being an ODST didn't mean anything to them; the fact was that she had deserted the Spartan program. Desertion was always punished by execution, thus the decades of hiding under their noses. However, recently she'd been playing with the idea of explaining things to the top brass. Admiral Parangosky supposedly had a distaste for what had happened to the Spartans and an almost legendary hatred for Halsey. And there was the added fact that the woman was Kaine's grandmother, though that was possibly to redhead's most closely guarded secret. If any member of ONI would understand why she had done what she had, it would be her.

But that wasn't possible now. Parangosky was as by-the-book as a person could get. Most people that knew her were convinced that the woman actually slept with the UNSC officer manual. If she found out that Kaine had an execution order on her file, the redhead would have five bullets in her skull before she was even aware that she was in danger, granddaughter or not.

"Are you sure, Sully?" Lasky asked, eyes wide. "I mean, the UNSC doesn't give out execution orders lightly. There's only been three in the last fifty years!"

"Three that became common knowledge," the ONI agent argued, frowning severely. "I'm aware of seven being ordered in the last six months. It's easier to mask the deaths with this war going on." He glanced at Kaine, probably worried about her lack of reaction. Whatever he saw on her face made him shiver. "Regardless," he continued, "Kaine's execution is still a bit strange. I couldn't discover who exactly gave the order, but the recorded reason was that she had knowledge that she couldn't possibly have. Whoever the ONI agent was, they couldn't figure out how she'd learned about the projected fatality rate. There was no breach in ONI security, so the decision was made that she was too dangerous and needed to be eliminated."

"They killed her for knowing too much?!" Lasky hissed, almost sounding as cat like as Kaine usually did. "For god's sake, Sully, ONI is an intelligence unit. They enlisted you for getting information you shouldn't have; why did they kill her?!"

"I'm right here," Kaine suddenly said dryly, surprising both males. "Please don't bury me until I'm dead. Plus three weeks to be sure." She tried to smile for them, but it came out more like a pained grimace. "There's a big difference between Sully and me, Lasky. When Sully pokes his nose where it doesn't belong, he's very selective about who he shares with, if anyone. I went running down a hall screaming the information at the top of my lungs while killing anyone that got within arms reach." Shrugging, she turned away to face the rain, tense enough to pass for a stone statue. "Sully is also just a human. The damage he could do is limited. I was a Spartan, fully trained and fully augmented at that point. If I'd wanted to tear the entire UNSC apart, I could have, even if I'd been on my own. That's not including the outrage of the other Spartans, if I had managed to tell them the truth. Face it, Lasky, I was the bigger threat."

Her words trailed off, leaving them in uncomfortable silence. Outside the tent, the rain was coming down so hard that visibility was barely a couple feet and it was loud enough to drown out all noise from the other tents. It was almost as though they were in their own little world, isolated from reality.

Glaring, Kaine shook her head. She couldn't afford to think like that. It was no secret that Covenant was still searching for Reach and Earth. The UNSC was doing its best to hide both locations, but it couldn't possibly last forever. Eventually they would be found, and war would come to them yet again. There couldn't be a repeat of Corbulo; they couldn't lose an entire planet's population! She wouldn't allow that to happen.

"Are you okay?" Sully finally asked quietly. The redhead glanced at him shortly before returning her attention to the rain. She was completely oblivious to Lasky's look of concentration and worry. The last time he'd seen her this twitchy, things had gone very bad very fast.

"You shouldn't have looked up my file," she answered tersely. "ONI you may be, but you're just a Major. Your clearance isn't that high, and you can't protect yourself that well yet."

"It's not like anyone cared," the agent argued, trying not to take the comment personally. He knew that Kaine worried, both about him and her secret. Considering that concern and borderline paranoia had kept her alive all these years, he tried to be understanding. She just made it so hard! Sully had been very careful with his research and was sure that no one knew of his forays into the Spartan files. Of course, he conceded, he'd been wrong before. All those years hacking into ONI and they'd known about every time. It had been curiosity in him that had made them stand back and watch until they recruited him. However, he'd admittedly never gone after anything this big before.

"You can't know that," the redhead told him sharply, getting to her feet so fast the boys couldn't track the movement with their eyes. "They could be waiting to see who you tell, gathering evidence, putting an execution order on your own file, you don't know!" Her hands came up to clutch at her hair, her face in agony. "I already lost Eric; can't you see that I can't lose you too?! I can't be responsible for another person's death, Sully! If ONI is gunning for me then I can't have you getting caught in the crossfire." She was hyperventilating, she knew it, but she couldn't stop. The realization of how much danger her friends were in honestly terrified her. There was no doubt in her mind that she could defend herself, but it had been proven time and time again that she couldn't protect others.

In all honesty, she probably would have worked herself into a state of hysteria if it wasn't for the sudden dousing of ice cold water. She jumped with a little shriek, though she would deny it, and spun around to see Lasky with a bucket that had previously been full of rainwater. Before she could launch herself at him, he gave her an unimpressed look and drawled, "Are you done? Cause if you are, we can talk about this like rational adults. If not, I have another bucket I can use." Glaring and shivering, the redhead considered shooting him with a half-dozen rubber bands, but eventually nodded that she was done.

"I know it's hard for you to understand," Sully drawled, pulling her attention to him, "but Lasky and I do know the risks _and_ are capable of protecting ourselves. There's also the little detail that we are, in fact, older than you." His face softened slightly, taking on more of a fond exasperation tinge. "You don't have to protect everyone, Kaine. No one can, not even your brothers and sisters. Right now, all Lasky and I can do to help you is poke our noses into places we can go and you can't. However, if something tries to bite our noses off, we are fully capable of fighting back without you."

Arms wrapped around her in a loose hug, making the Spartan stiffen before recognizing Lasky's cologne and forcing herself to relax. "We want to help," her friend sighed, giving her a light squeeze. "If we were hurting and refusing your help, wouldn't you got a little crazy? And have you ever been hugged before? It feels like I'm hugging a statue."

"Yes I've been hugged," the redhead snapped, breaking free of his grasp and pacing back to the edge of the tent, feeling the rain mist blow against her face. She wanted to tell them that it was different; she could help because she couldn't be hurt while they could. However, a tiny voice in the back of her mind told her it was a bad idea to put voice to those words. Arguing with Sully and Lasky wasn't something on her 'to-do' list. Getting them to stop was, but it was looking more and more like that wouldn't be possible.

The storm was finally starting to slack off, the downpour easing down to the point where the small group could see the other tents. Kaine could even hear some of the conversations, knowing that it wouldn't be long before they could hear her as well. In a last ditch attempt, she turned to her friends, mouth open to argue, but it snapped shut at the sight of their faces. It was an expression she knew well, though she'd never seen it on anyone non-Spartan. Instead, she sighed and slumped slightly. "You're not giving up, are you?" she sighed.

"Now you're catching on," Sully joked with a small wink. Lasky just shook his head, face composed. It wasn't radically different than how he had been after Corbulo.

"If you get in any trouble, either of you, call me," she ordered firmly, mind racing ahead. If she couldn't stop them, maybe she could shift some of the heat off. "It's not unheard of for other branches to have moles inside ONI, though it's kept quiet, so if Sully gets caught I can claim he was working for me. And the ODSTs work with Spartans enough to explain away any questions about why he's looking into their records. Lasky, you'll have to be a little more guarded, but if you get caught I can still help."

"Sounds like a plan," Lasky said with a tiny smile. However, he flat out chuckled when she gave him a surprised look. "I'm not going to argue with you, Faldon. This is what Sully and I wanted; all of us working together, protecting each other. It makes life a lot easier than you trying to protect everyone on your own." The redhead had her reservations about that, but the rain had slacked off enough that she didn't think it was safe to continue the argument. Instead she shrugged and stepped out into the light mist that was all that remained of the storm. Other military members were venturing out of the tents and saying their farewells. Slowly, the memorial emptied out until Kaine was alone. Taking a last look around, she gazed up at the obelisk, eyes roaming over the names that were carved there. Chyler. Vickers. Dimah. Col. Mehaffey. She hadn't saved them, despite all her skills, and that was a fact that was never going to change.

But maybe that was okay. She was a Spartan, but had been young, alone, and without access to the weapons she'd needed. Thinking that she could have stopped the massacre was ludicrous. She'd done what she could, and that was all anyone could ever ask of her. It was time to move on, accepting what had happened to her while continuing to better herself so that she would be ready the next time. True, it wouldn't be easy and she had no doubt that the self-hate wouldn't vanish overnight. But maybe, just maybe, she could learn to let go, and she could start with letting Lasky and Sully help her.

Somewhere in the shadow of the obelisk, Kaine thought she could see General Black. It was like her dream, except this time he looked alive. Those eyes were bright again, not dull, as he finally smiled. Then he turned and walked away. Somehow, the redhead knew there wouldn't be anymore nightmares.

Saluting the memorial one last time as the evening sun glinted off the rain soaked grass, she turned to leave when her communicator chirped. Confused, she turned it on in time to hear, "I repeat, the Covenant is on Reach!"

* * *

 _Betaed (FINALLY!) by the lovely Mira. So if any typos have survived, let them be. They deserve a break._


	7. The Meeting Point

**The Meeting Point**

Time: {Data error: Conflicting data}Estimated 0525\

{Date error: Conflicting data} Estimated January 19, 2525\

{Date error: Conflicting data} Estimated Reach

The time was nearly 0530. That was easy enough to identify, thanks to the quality of light. The date was a little harder to determine. It was supposed to be summer, she could remember that much, but the chill in the air was more reminiscent of early winter. Reach early winter, which was impossible. Scientists believed that glassed planets would eventually heal themselves, but it would take over a century. So Reach was lost for another hundred years.

Except, according to everyone one of her senses, it wasn't.

Taking care to remain unthreatening, Kaine eased her eyes open. She'd already heard the quiet breathing around her, proving she wasn't alone. However, once she could identify the objects she was looking at, it took a moment to believe. There was absolutely no way this could be real. The base she and the other Spartans had been raised at had been dismantled soon after augmentations. She knew that. Eric had taken her to watch some of it. But her brain was informing her that, yes, she was back in the barracks. That, and she was looking right into the very much alive eyes of Samuel.

"Morning, Klare," he whispered, smiling slightly at her. "Ready for today? The instructors said it's the last one." She just blinked at him, struggling to process what was going on around her. It was almost as though her thoughts were draining away. Hadn't she just thought something strange about Sam?

Finally letting her eyes move away from the blonde, the redhead looked around carefully. From her prone position she couldn't see a whole lot, but what she could see were bunks of Spartans. Jeremy, Alice, Christopher, Mary, Collin, she knew them all as well as she knew herself. They'd grown up together, trained together, lived together, fought together. They were her siblings, she knew that. She also knew they were all dead. At least, she thought they were. Not that it made much sense, considering she was looking right at them.

"You look confused," Sam continued, starting to sound a little worried, though his voice stayed quiet. "Weren't you briefed?" For some reason, she didn't think he meant the meeting she remembered, where the scientists had explained the coming augmentations. Although, she also had an idea that that briefing had occurred a long time ago. Strange.

"No," she finally answered, voice rusty with sleep and disuse. With mild amusement, she watched as her friend's eyes suddenly lit up with joy. It had been a long time since she'd seen that.

"So you do talk!" the blonde exclaimed, hardly fazed as someone a few bunks down hissed at him to be quiet. "We were beginning to think you'd forgotten how. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've heard your voice?" Eyes a little clearer as her thoughts finally settled themselves, Kaine turned back to him.

"No. I don't."

A piercing whistle ripped through the barracks. Before she could realize that it had been years since she'd heard that sound, Kaine was on her feet and pulling on the old, familiar sweats and boots. Her steps did falter for a second on her way out of the building, but then she was in formation and didn't have time to ponder what was going on. It was almost like she was stuck between two times, but her mind was quickly aligning itself with the moment.

At the head of the formation was five of the Spartans' instructors. Kaine recognized every one of them, but was startled to realize that Mendez wasn't there. The absence was almost palpable to her, but no one else seemed to notice. "Listen up, Spartans," one of the instructors barked over the silent assembly. "Yesterday you were all informed that you would be shipping out today. Due to the heroic efforts of one person, that departure has been pushed back indefinitely."

Feeling she was missing something vital, the redhead attempted the stifle her frown. According to her memories, which she was starting to question more and more, such a delay would have resulted in a lot of frustration from her family. Yet the instructor had sounded pleased, and that happiness was echoed by everyone on the parade ground. Things were clearly different. Now if she could just figure out what.

"In light of this schedule change, we will resume our previous activities," the instructor continued. "As I'm sure you are all aware, Spartan 113 returned to us last night, but she will only be staying for a day. Her mission resumes at midnight. With this in mind, we have decided to make her Squad Leader until her departure." Looking directly at Kaine, the man nodded sharply. "Lead them to the course, 113."

Just as she'd been trained most of her life, Kaine snapped a salute and spun on her heels towards the playground. Before she had taken more than three steps, the others had fallen into formation behind her. With the ease of old familiarity, her body took up the easy lope that had settled into every Spartan's bones. For a brief second she felt that the moment was surreal, but then she was lost in the rhythm of churning feet.

At the playground, the instructors announce that the Spartans would work in teams of three to ring the bell that was suspended fifty feet off the ground. A pulse of nostalgic fondness swept through the gathered children. They were all familiar with this game. When the instructors gave the order to break into teams, Kaine looked around for Zach and Luna, but frowned when she realized that they weren't there.

"Klare!" Sam called, waving to her from his place beside Cal. "Come join us!" She quickly trotted over, covertly glancing about them. Now that she thought about it, Kelly and John weren't there either. Neither was Fred and Naomi. Actually, there were several faces missing. A feeling of wrongness stirred in her chest, but she tried to ignore it. Her battle instincts weren't going off, so she felt safe, just wrong.

There must have been something on her face, because Cal smiled at her. "Our teammates are out on missions," she told the redhead. "Don't worry, you'll be back with them soon." There was a flaw in that logic, she could feel it, but Kaine lost interest in finding it. She simply accepted the words with a nod before turning back to the problem of the course. Half a dozen plans rattled through her head, but they were repeats of previously used strategies. For a strange reason, the desire to show off for her friends was lodged in the redhead's chest. When the final idea started to form, a smile slowly spread across her face. With a new glint in her eyes, she turned towards her team. By the time the instructors were ready to give the start signal, their plan was solid. Confident, Kaine settled next to the starting line, only vaguely aware of her siblings.

The redhead was moving before her brain had fully registered that the whistle had been blown. She wanted to show off, but without injuring anyone. To do that, she had to be the _first_ to reach the bell. Not that that would be too hard, though she wasn't entirely sure where that convictions had come from.

" _Someone's_ excited," one of the instructors mused with a smile, watching the small redhead leap ahead. In seconds there was a sizable gap between her and the others. The adults were slightly surprised when she started climbing the rope that was directly beneath the bell. That was hardly the optimal route. Then, "What do those two think they are doing?" Sam and Cal had followed their teammate's lead, but were staying on the ground while the other Spartans scrambled around to reach the goal. The slight smile on the two ground-based children made the instructors a bit nervous.

Ignoring the slight tremor in her arms, Kaine finally pulled level with her target. No other Spartan was terrible close, allowing her to observe how the bell was attached to the wood beam. Seeing only a short length of standard rope, she made a rash choice and leapt from her rope to hang from the bell. There was a yell from the instructors as they realized her plan, and then the thin rope snapped and she plummeted five stories. Unbidden, knowledge she wasn't sure she should have rose up in her mind, helping her land easily as she rolled to absorb the impact. Back on her feet, she smirked as she realized that she wouldn't even have a bruise.

Allowing the smirk to morph into a victorious smile, Kaine rung the bell in her hands before tossing it to Sam. As her teammates chimed in, she glanced up at the other Spartans. Some were shaking their heads and some were laughing, but they all bore rueful smiles. Once Cal had rung the bell she handed it back to Kaine, who chucked it back up to the course. Laughing as the other teams scrambled after the prize, all three Spartans on the ground leisurely made their way to the finish line.

The instructor waiting for them was also smiling. "Solid landing, 113," he said with pride. "I'm glad you are still using what you've learned from your mission." That explained the strangeness of knowing how to fall and land. "Now wait here while the other Spartans locate our missing bell." Barely suppressing her grin at the veiled chide, Kaine saluted before assuming an at-ease stance, Sam and Cal falling in behind her.

After being silent for a moment, Sam sighed happily. "It's nice to do this again," he said contentedly. "I've missed the playground."

"Me too," Cal agreed. "Maybe the instructors will let us start it up again. Our departure has been delayed, after all." Forcefully pushing the strange feelings that the words had triggered aside, Kaine silently puzzled over what she had seen up by the bell. It was common knowledge that the course was at the edge of the base. However, when she'd looked around, the base was clear but she hadn't been able to see beyond the borders at all. There was nothing there. Not nothing to see; literally nothing. That wasn't supposed to be possible.

"Is anything wrong, Spartan?" the instructor that had met them at the finish line asked her. "You seem upset." Schooling her face into blankness, Kaine glanced up at him, noting the ODST badge on his shoulder. It tried to trigger something, but she deftly ignored it.

"I'm...a little disoriented, sir," she finally answered. Surprisingly, he smiled slightly and nodded for her to continue. "I feel out of place, but can't remember why. There's people missing, though no one else seems to mind. I'm using knowledge I don't remember learning, but it feels natural." Taking a chance, she met the instructor's gaze. "Sir, is there something wrong with me?"

"Absolutely not," he replied easily, turning back to face the course as they waited. Both ignored the quiet chatter of Sam and Cal as the two younger Spartans tried to give them a bit of privacy. "Everyone is a little lost when they come in from a mission. If you give it time, your mind will catch up with everything that's happening."

"You speak from experience, sir?" the redhead queried. She had to admit, the words made sense to her addled thoughts. It was the meaning that she was still a little lost on.

"I do," he confirmed, eyes flicking to the right as the bell finally rang out again. It was the first time the game had been played with a mobile target, and he was thinking it was something they should continue. "We all experienced the same thing when we returned here. Coming from a mission is a traumatic experience. Our minds try to protect us by forcing us to forget. Eventually, we all realize that we are safe and the memories begin to come back. Your mind is more stubborn than most, to continue realizing that things are wrong."

"You say that like it makes sense, sir," Kaine replied quietly, watching as another team trotted over to the finish line. "It doesn't."

"It will," he assured her before striding away. Left to her thoughts, Kaine wondered if she'd ever understand. Part of her thought it would be impossible, but something told her that he was right.

After the playground, the Spartans trotted down to the rifle range. Kaine found the Covenant targets morbidly accurate, but it wasn't very satisfying to shoot plastic. Then, at the mechanic shop, she taught the other Spartans how to hot wire the supposedly hot wire proof Pelicans. The instructors were less than pleased about that, but she noticed that they didn't interfere.

By lunch, Kaine was starting to get a handle on what was happening around her. The memories had started fading back in, making her figure out what had occurred. It made every moment more precious, especially as she realized that time was quickly passing her by.

Sitting with her friends as she ate, Kaine suddenly noticed some other soldiers that were relaxing in the sun. Some strange instinct brought the redhead to her feet and she trotted over, oblivious to the sudden silence that fell behind her. The strangers spotted her quickly and waited while she crossed the grounds. "Hello," she said with a nod.

"Sir," one of the males replied, inclining his own head towards her. A faint smile played at the corner of his lips, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out why. "We weren't aware you were coming in. Is your mission over?"

"Not yet," she answered with a shrug. "The instructors say I'm just passing through." Some memory was itching at the back of her mind, but she tried not to chase after it. Better to come to the realization gradually. "Would you like to join us for lunch?"

"We're not exactly welcome with most of the Spartans," another male laughed, grinning in a slightly demented way. For some reason, when she looked at him, all Kaine could think of was a skull. "Jorge joins us when he can, but the others get a little twitchy if we come over."

"Well that's stupid," the redhead grumbled, crossing her arms across her chest. "You're not that different from us." Then she frowned, wondering what had made her say that. It wasn't like being compared to Spartans was exactly normal.

Still, she'd drawn a laugh from the group as they all relaxed. Throwing a look over her shoulder and seeing her siblings watching, Kaine huffed again in frustration before sitting down. The strange female with very short hair offered her a drink. She proceeded to laugh when the redhead took one sniff and quickly gave it back. "Avoiding alcohol, sir?"

"I prefer my drinks to not taste like piss," was the reply, startling another laugh from the four. "So why are all of you here? Did you transfer in?"

"Sort of," the skull male shrugged. "Your Jorge over there caught each one of us as we were passing through. See, we're waiting on a teammate too, and Jorge said we could stay here."

"Not that your Spartans are happy about having us," the last male spoke up, much quieter than the others. "Safe to say we don't really get along."

"Like I said, that's stupid," Kaine repeated, slowly starting to remember little things about the group. "I'm going to have to have a talk with them about this." She suddenly tilted her head, staring right at the quiet male. "What kind of name is Six anyway?"

The skull male burst out laughing while the other male and female smiled. Six just gave her an exasperated look, though the corners of his lips were slightly twitching up. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you, ?"

"Hey, guys!" a voice called, making the small group turn towards the noise. A young man was jogging up, smiling brightly though he was clearly confused when he saw the redhead. "Make a new friend?"

"Thorn, Spartan 113," Six introduced. "Spartan, this is Thorn, the laughing idiot over there is Emile, that's Carter, the female is Kat or Catherine, and you know me." Each name stuck to something in Kaine's mind, making her sure that they were important, but not knowing why. Instead, she just smiled and nodded. This not having memories thing sucked.

A sharp whistle from the Spartan area had the redhead on her feet before any of them could blink. The children were cleaning up from their lunch, ready for whatever tasks their instructors had planned for the evening. "I guess I'll see you around," she told the smaller group with a smile. "You know, someday. When I come back for real."

"We look forward to it, sir, but take your time," Carter said, getting up himself so he could offer his hand to be shaken. "The mission comes first, so don't think you have to hurry back. And we'd like to thank you for taking care of Jun for us."

Shaking the hand, the redhead smiled. "I assume I'll know what you're talking about eventually." With a small wave to them all, she chirped, "See ya around, Noble," before quickly jogging back to her siblings. By the time she reached them, the strangeness of Noble team was already in the back of her mind. However, she did give an impressive lecture to the Spartans about accepting others and how they were the last group of people that should be holding themselves aloof. She wasn't sure if anything would change, but at least she tried. It was just, for the strangest reason she felt that Noble shouldn't be on the outside. It wasn't something she could explain, but that didn't make it any less important to her. By the end, she could tell that her siblings were at least considering what she'd said. She'd take what she could get, so she quickly stepped aside, allowing the instructors to give them their orders for the rest of the day.

Considering the redhead would not be staying long, the decision was made to hold a sparring competition that would last until dinner. It was the most fun Kaine could remember having on the base. When she ended up winning, she spent the next twenty minutes chasing her laughing siblings around the parade grounds, accusing them of letting her win. By the end, they were all tired, sweaty, and out of breath, but the gins that were splitting their faces convinced the instructors to keep their mouths shut.

Dinner was a near party, by Spartan standards at least. No one outside the program would see it, but it was in their small smiles and the near silent whispers. Kaine, especially, was enjoying herself. As the day had passed, everything had come back to her and she finally knew what had happened and where she was. This meant that she was fully aware of the fact that she would not be staying much longer.

Seemingly aware of her reluctance to let things end, the instructors announced a night maneuvers exercise in the guise of a scavenger hunt. Again, the Spartans split into their teams and were released into the base's forest. Before vanishing into the trees, Kaine paused to look back at the ODST instructor. The exchange of salutes was their farewell before the trees closed in around her, separating them from view.

Despite the 'mission' that they were on, Kaine's group simply wandered through the woods. Occasionally they would meet up with other teams, allowing the redhead to say her goodbyes. Though she reminded everyone that she would be back some day, when her mission was finished for real, tears were still shed. Some farewells were just too difficult, leaving the Spartans with lingering hugs and sad waves. It was the hardest thing any of them had had to do for a very long time. For some, it was the hardest ever.

Finally, Kaine knew she had only minutes left. Stopping in a small clearing, she mustered a smile as Cal pulled her into a tight hug. "We miss you," she told the blonde girl, voice cracking in pain.

"I know," Cal replied quietly. "I miss you too. Thank you, by the way, for passing on my message." Unable to speak anymore, the redhead could only nod, giving her friend a final squeeze before forcing herself to let go. The two shared a final smile before Cal walked away, leaving Kaine and Sam alone to wait.

"Sam," she said, looking up at the full moon. "Is any of this real?"

"Does it matter?" he asked. When she threw him a glare, he smiled. "Alright, alright, calm down. Yes, it's real, but I would say that if it wasn't too. Cause if it wasn't real, I would be a figment of your imagination and would say whatever you wanted me to say. Just remember what Chief always told us. If your senses, instincts, and guts say something is real, it is. It might only be real to you, but that doesn't make it any more or less real."

"Way to answer the question without answering the question," Kaine grumbled, sitting on a log. Despite her frustration, she understood what he was trying to tell her. That didn't make her any happier.

As the moon grew brighter, Sam came to sit beside her. "You know we'll still be here when you come back, right?" he asked, trying to reassure her. "We decided a long time ago not to leave until everyone came back from their missions. Once we're all together again, then we'll move on." Smiling, he pulled her into a hug. "No Spartan left behind, remember?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I never got to tell you goodbye before. Or that I was sorry, or that I forgave you, or that I love you." A tired smile crossed her face as the blonde started laughing. She'd missed the sound.

"I know all those things," he assured her. "We all do. But thank you for telling me." He squeezed a little, almost like he didn't want to let her go. The feeling was mutual.

The moon was painfully bright by that point. Knowing what she needed to do, Kaine stood with one last smile. Moving to the center of the clearing, she looked up at the disk of light. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and said, "Spartan 113, Kaine Faldon, ODST Commander-in-Chief, reporting for duty!" The light grew brighter and brighter, forcing the redhead to blink the tears away.

"Bright," she croaked through her dry throat, lifting a bandaged arm to shield her eyes. She could hear the machines she was hooked up to beeping, no doubt summoning an army of medics. However, she was still startled when a face suddenly appeared above her, finally blocking the damn light.

"Commander," O'Brien said, voice nearly dripping with relief. Kaine couldn't help but smile up at him, resolutely ignoring the tears on her face and in her eyes.

"Shore leave is over, O'Brien. I'm back on duty."

* * *

Time: 1730\

March 25, 2554\

Aboard the UNSC _Avalon_

Sighing, Kaine glared at the padd she was holding. She still got tired easily, despite having been been out of the coma for three weeks. Considering how long she'd been dead and then trapped in the coma, she tried to cut herself some slack. It wasn't easy, but it was either that or kick herself in the ass, and she was too tired to do any kicking.

Admiral Parangosky was demanding an official report of the battle that Kaine could barely remember. She'd watched the recordings, of course, and knew what had happened with Vincent filling in a few blank spots, but her thought process was still a little fuzzy. There were moments in the recordings where she couldn't believe what she had done. Punching that ONI officer hadn't been her best moment, to be sure. And calling Parangosky a homicidal mother hen was stupider still. Nevertheless, for the most part, she wouldn't change a single thing she had done.

The Covenant ship had been badly injured, she remembered that clearly, but the UNSC ship bearing the last of the Spartan IIs had been in worse shape. Of course, her own ODST ship hadn't been doing much better, but they still had propulsion. The Spartan's ship did not. So when the Covenant had powered up their weapons, she hadn't hesitated to order her ship into position to take the hit. After clearing the bridge of all personnel except herself so that she could manually pilot the hunk of metal, and evacuating the entire front half of the ship to the back, not hard to do since they'd been working with a skeleton crew as it was, she and Vincent had shifted the shields to protect the main body of the ship, leaving the front section unguarded.

And her plan had worked, just as she'd thought it would. Her ship had been hit, the Spartans were saved, the back half of her ship was untouched, and the bridge was destroyed. She'd been crushed by falling beams and had bled to death internally. Apparently, during the time she was dying, the Covenant were destroyed and her body was discovered in the wreckage. Despite being dead for twenty minutes she had been stuck in a cryotube and shipped to Earth in the vague hope that she could still be saved. Parangosky's orders, strangely enough. Seemed the old hag didn't want to deal with training a new ODST Commander.

That had been a month ago. The doctors had been astounded with how well she'd recovered. From what they said, the fact that she only suffered from mild memory loss was phenomenal. The redhead had had to talk very fast to prevent the discovery of her Spartan background. It wouldn't have worked if the other Spartans hadn't started heading off the inquiries, not to mention the fact that the ODST doctors, each one very used to the fact that she wasn't quite like other humans but not knowing why, had taken over her care.

Now, at long last, Kaine was back on her ship. There had been some major repair work done, and it wasn't totally finished, but she was back in her own quarters and safe from the prying eyes of the medics. She was using the time to write, both the official report and a personal letter to her Spartan siblings. Despite everything that she had forgotten, her time with the fallen Spartans was still clear in her mind. It was hard to write about, and she'd had to stop several times, but at long last she was done. For a moment, she wondered if she should actually send the letter. Wasn't it enough that she was burdened with the knowledge that their brothers and sisters were waiting for them? But on the other hand, did she have the right to withhold that information?

She eventually made up her mind as she thought about her time with the dead Spartans. None had been upset about where they were. They'd been excited to reunite with the Spartans that were still alive, still on missions, but had been genuinely happy when the reunion was put off. It shouldn't be a burden, knowing they were there. There wasn't a reason to keep the experience to herself. She just added two sentences to the end of the letter before pressing send. "They're waiting for us, and will be there when our missions are finally complete. But I'm sure they won't mind if we keep them waiting for a long time." Only once she got a confirmation note that the message had been sent did she put the padd down.

There would always be a part of her that wanted to go back. She knew that. The Spartans were her family, closer than her blood family had ever been, and she missed them. During that one day, she'd been able to relax and enjoy being with her siblings. So in some ways, she looked forward to the day she would leave the universe for good.

But there was the undeniable fact that she was a Spartan, same as them. She didn't even remember what it was like to not give a hundred percent to complete a mission. And they were right; she was on a mission. Life was a mission, as cliché as the thought was. If she was going to fail, it would not be because she gave up.

With that thought in mind, Kaine tossed the padd away and slowly got to her feet. Her legs were stiff, and she figured a short walk around her ship would be perfect for stretching them out again. Besides, she always enjoyed seeing how many Helljumpers she could catch off guard. It was so much fun, watching them jump in fear.

And she needed to find Jun. After all, he had teammates waiting as well. She hadn't been able to save Noble Squad, but she'd be there for Jun as long as he wanted her to. Cause that was the thing most people just didn't get about Spartans. It didn't really matter what Program they went through or who trained them. Everyone under the name of Spartan was part of a family. It was a strange one to be sure. They could probably drive themselves into insanity if they ever tried to assign actual titles, like aunt, nephew, grandkids, or whatever. Plus the plain and simple fact that dysfunctional could be their middle name without a problem. Yet when everything was stripped away and all the differences were overlooked, the facts don't change. They are Spartans. They are family. Family looks out for each other.

It was that simple.

* * *

 _Betaed (FINALLY!) by the lovely Mira. So if any typos have survived, let them be. They deserve a break._


	8. The Truth

**The Truth**

Time: {Data error: Conflicting data}\Estimated 0240\

{Data error: Conflicting data}\Estimated May 17, 2550\

{Data error: Conflicting data}\Estimated Aboard the UNSC _Avalon_

"My apologies, General McCoy, but it's time to get up." Groaning, the redhead rolled over, grumpily pulled a pillow over her head. "You do realize I'm not going to cease just because you're tired, yes?"

"You'll stop if I delete you," the ODST muttered, eyes firmly shut. However, she knew her actions were in vain, so she reluctantly sat up, raking a hand through her hair tiredly. "What time is it?"

"0241, General. You're expected on the bridge in 19 minutes." Ignoring the soldier's quiet cursing, the AI pulled her schedule up on the screen, highlighting her duties for the day. "I suggest you hurry, sir. Commander Faldon will be very upset if you're late."

"I'm aware," was the snapped reply as the redhead got off the bed and stumbled into her bathroom. Glaring at the mirror, she noted the dark bags under her eyes and how dull the green had become. A side-effect to fighting Covenant non-stop for weeks, but still not something she wanted to see. "Takoda, I was under the impression that Commander Faldon had a meeting to attend."

"You are correct, but the Commander cannot leave the ship until you have taken command. Thus, why you must report to the bridge so early, despite having finished your shift three hours ago. Fifteen minutes, General." Muttering more curses, the officer quickly grabbed her brush, trying to work her hair out of the nest it had formed itself into. She was only partially successful before she had to abandon the endeavor, rushing back into her quarters to get dressed. Luckily she'd had the foresight to pull out a fresh uniform when she'd gotten off shift, allowing her to dress quickly and run out. The halls were mostly empty, meaning the redhead could make good time to the lift that would take her to the bridge.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't you, General?" Commander Faldon said as the younger officer stepped onto to bridge right as the ship clock chimed that it was 0300. There was nothing the redhead could say, so she chose to simply salute, ignoring the look she was given in return. "You have your orders for the time I'm to be gone, correct?"

"Yes, Commander," the female confirmed, trying not to roll her eyes. One would think, after all the years she'd been an ODST, the Commander would start to have some faith in her.

"Very well, General," her commander sighed, giving her a short look. Turning towards the AI pad, the pair waited patiently for Takoda to pop up, politely ignoring the look of disdain on his face. With his war paint and feathers, he always managed to pull off a look of contempt with ease. "Let the records show that at this time, 0304 on May 17th, 2550, I, Commander Eric Faldon, relinquish command of the ODST Corps to Brigadier General Klare McCoy." The AI nodded, recording the information in the ship logs. "Alright General, don't run my ship into the ground while I'm gone."

"Of course, Commander," Klare replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes again. "I promise, your ship won't have a single new scratch when you come back." She winced internally, realizing that she'd probably stepped over a line, but Faldon settled for giving her a warning look before nodding and walking away. Breathing a sigh of relief, the redhead rolled her shoulders a few times to loosen them up before looking around. The bridge was as quiet as she could expect for the early hour though each of the twenty stations was manned. Ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of her skull that something was wrong, she started her rounds, talking quietly with each soldier on the bridge.

"General McCoy." Returning to the AI pad, the redhead waited patiently for Takoda to speak. "Commander Faldon has departed the ship and is on his way to the UNSC _Gettysburg_. No complications have occurred and the _Gettysburg_ has confirmed their orders to return the Commander to Earth for the annual conference. We are also receiving a faint distress signal from the Eridanus system though the UNSC records insist that there are no more humans in that sector; Covenant forces are too strong for humans to survive."

"Then how could we be receiving a distress signal?" the redhead asked, frowning in confusion. "Is it an echo, or possibly an older signal that's still running?"

"Both are possibilities, but neither are highly likely," the AI admitted, looking upset about not having any answers. "An echo would fade in and out; this signal is faint but steady. And an older signal would have been picked up before and logged by other UNSC craft. I'm sorry, General, but the only conclusion I can come to is that there are humans in the system that need help."

"You realize that Commander Faldon is going to have my hide if I dent his ship, correct?" Klare muttered even as she resigned herself. "Alright, give orders to the navigation station. We'll jump in, figure out what's going on on Eridanus, and jump out before Covenant knows we're there." She noted when the Sioux warrior nodded and vanished, but her mind was already leaping ahead. It was unusual for the UNSC to not know where their people were at all times, but how else could they be receiving a distress signal when there were no records? An ONI op gone bad, perhaps? If so, Admiral Parangosky was going to have her head, regardless if she saved the humans trapped there or not. After all, her grandmother wasn't fond of her only surviving granddaughter risking her neck when she didn't have to. "Takoda, what is our ETA to Eridanus?"

"ETA is 1035 from Slipspace, General," the AI answered, popping back into view just long enough to give her his 'Exasperated Look #7'.

"Very well, give orders that cryo will not be used during this jump," the redhead shrugged, internally laughing at his look of long-suffering. Though she was actually very good friends with the AI, she still enjoyed teasing him, just as he enjoyed torturing her with early wake-up calls. "I'll be in my office if anyone has need of me."

"Very good, sir," Takoda said, vanishing again as he went about his duties. The redhead waited until she could feel the ship vibrate and the screens went black as they entered Slipspace. Then, with only a nod to the current bridge officer, Klare made her way to the lift and stepped inside, waiting patiently for it to descend to her desired deck. Forcing a spring into her step, the young General trotted down the hall, greeting the few awake ODSTs with nods and salutes before finally sliding into her assigned office.

Only once the door was safely shut behind her did Klare double over, hands clutching her head as the pain pounded harshly. It felt like someone was trying to pry her skull apart; she could almost feel the fingers digging into her scalp and pulling. Grunting, she stumbled over to her chair and collapsed into it, bent nearly in half. The headache had come out of nowhere, nearly sending her to her knees up on the bridge. It had taken every ounce of control she had to not react, knowing that there were ODSTs that wouldn't hesitate to take her out if she showed weakness. Faldon's decision to make her Second-in-Command had not been well received by several officers, and their followers were always waiting for a moment to remove the redhead from the equation.

As the pain finally began to fade, the young General slowly uncurled, breathing harshly. Her body ached in places it shouldn't, almost like she'd been fighting bonds instead of sitting at her desk. However, even those discomforts were disappearing, like they'd never existed. "What the hell?" she muttered, wiping the sweat from her brow as she finally straightened, feeling only a faint twinge from her chest.

"Are you alright, General?" Takoda asked, the image forming instantly on her desk. He was frowning, but it looked like he was actually concerned for once. Strange, as he usually felt only mild tolerance towards humans. "Your biomonitors spiked dangerously a few seconds ago. I would have come sooner, but the electronics in your office were blocked for some reason."

"Sudden headache," she hedged, rolling her shoulders and neck experimentally. When there were no flashes of pain, she elected to ignore the entire incident. "And the entire ship's electronics have been acting oddly since the ONI upgrade. I'm sure it's nothing."

"A headache does not cause reactions like that on biomonitors," the AI argued. "It looked more like something was happening to your heart. Similar to a heart attack, but muffled."

"I'll get medical to check it out later," the redhead snapped, wanting the conversation to end. "I'm fine now, so return to your duties." Without a word, the digital warrior obeyed, allowing Klare to focus on the paperwork that needed completion. It took less than an hour before she was engrossed in the politics needed to run a ship, her headache a distant memory.

The seven hours passed quickly, giving McCoy time to arrange a rescue mission on the off-chance that there were actually humans that needed saving. In the last hour or so of travel, with nothing left to do, she pulled out an old photo and stared at it. The image was of herself and her twin sister, Lillian. They hadn't exactly been loving siblings when they'd been young, but then Lillian had gotten mysteriously ill and started dying. Klare had done everything a little kid could do to save her sister, but nothing worked. Her sister had died at the age of ten, leaving the youngest redhead alone. It had been years before she'd learned to move on, constantly feeling like there was a part of her missing. She could never fill that hole, and she'd come to accept the pain that came with it. That didn't stop her from dreaming of 'what-if's.

When Takoda announced that they would drop out of Slipspace in ten minutes, the redhead decided to head down to the launching bay. Despite her rank and position as Second-in-Command, she went on missions as often as possible, and something in her gut said she needed to go on this one. So, happily ignoring protocols and regulations, she geared up for combat and met with the men she'd assembled by the Pelican she'd assigned them. The scowl on the AI's face as he finally appeared on a nearby screen was worth all the laws she was breaking.

"I've located the source of the signal," he said stiffly, not giving her time to ask. "It's recorded in the 'UNSC Signals' list and labeled as important, requiring immediate rescue actions, but there's no explanation of what group uses the signal. Only a note that the Office of Naval Intelligence be alerted the moment the signal is picked up, regardless of if the rescue is successful or not."

"Guess that means we're going down," Klare grinned, grabbing a helmet and running up the Pelican ramp to get her favorite seat. "Let's move, ODSTs!" With various laughs and agreements, the soldier's followed her, settling quickly as the pilot started the engines and sealed the hatch. For a second, the bay was pitch black, but then the interior lights activated, giving a cool glow. There was a slight vibration as the dropship lifted off the ground, but then everything was smooth as they flew out of the ship and the pilot turned to take them down to the planet.

Curious, Klare leaned around the slight wall to look through the cockpit. There wasn't much to see. Eridanus II had once been a rural colony, but now it was nothing but blackened rock. How anything could survive down there was beyond her, but the signal insisted that there was life.

The transition from space into the atmosphere wasn't as rough as it usually was, indicating just how little of the atmosphere actually remained. Takoda had assured her during the trip that there was breathable air on the planet, for short periods of time, but it was just another point that made her doubt that she was actually on a rescue mission. How could there be anything but bodies, just waiting to be recovered?

Narrowing in on the signal, the redhead switched her COM to the same frequency and said, "This is General McCoy of the ODSTs, recognition code Alpha-Xray-Four-Nine-Seven-Kilo. We've received your signal and are coming in by Pelican. If you read me, please respond." For a long moment, all she got was the continuing distress signal. Then, quite suddenly, it stopped.

" _General McCoy,_ " a voice said over the COM, making the officer jump. Well, she was wrong. It was a rescue after all. " _This is Master Chief Petty Officer, Sierra-117. Recognition code Kilo-Mark-One-One-Three._ " Sweet mother of chocolate, it was Spartans. " _I have five Spartans with me; three are injured. Sending coordinates now._ " A NAV point appeared on her HUD, located about a mile away from where the signal had been coming from.

"Received coordinates, Master Chief; ETA is nine minutes," she replied, quickly shooting the new location to her pilot. Feeling as the dropship tilted, she tried to relax. "Are there enemy forces in the area, Spartan?"

" _LZ is clear for now, General, but enemy Tangos are on the planet. I suggest speed._ "

"Right, prepare your team for extraction, then," Klare ordered, mind racing. Covenant on the ground meant there was danger in space, so her ship couldn't stay for long. Sending a non-verbal order for Takoda to prioritize the recharging of the Slipspace engines and preparing a new jump point for them, she waited tensely as they continued to descend.

"Approaching LZ, General," the pilot finally announced several agonizing minutes later. "Orders?"

"Set her down gentle, but keep everything hot," the ODST barked, preparing her rifle as the other soldiers did the same. "The second everyone's on board, get us up and out." Not bothering to hear his acknowledgment, she got to her feet and trotted to the hatch, ready to be the first one out when it opened. There were several long seconds of anticipation as they all felt the Pelican touchdown, and then the seals broke and the hatch opened, ramp sliding down easily as the General walked down before it had finished. By the time she got to the bottom, though, the Spartans were nearly on her.

Recognizing the marking of the lead Spartan, she nodded once. "Master Chief, welcome aboard. Get your men strapped in and we can get the hell out of here." The Spartan didn't reply, though he did salute before turning to the others, letting them pass to go up the ramp. Klare stood on the other side, eyes sharp as they scanned the area. No way was she allowing any alien bastard to shoot up her dropship, besides the fact that Eric would kill her for letting any of his stuff get damaged.

Once the other Spartans were safely on board, the officer waved the Chief up, walking backward up the ramp to cover him. But right when she was about to turn around, she suddenly heard, " _Kaine!_ " Startled, she jumped and looked about wildly. The voice had been painfully clear, echoing the headache she'd had earlier, but there was no one in sight. Glancing over her shoulder, the officer noticed that no one else was acting like they'd heard anything though her men were watching her worriedly.

Shaking off the moment, Klare made her way of the rest of the ramp, weapon still lowered as she watched for movement. Her soldiers were at the hatch entrance, weapons ready and scanning. "Seal up and let's go!" the redhead called to the pilot, not shouldering her weapon until the hatch was closed enough to make it pointless. However, she didn't relax at all until she felt the dropship leave the planet and start its way back into space.

Waving her soldiers back to their seats, McCoy looked back to see the Spartans in a small group near the cockpit, two on the ground with outstretched legs and one with an arm held close to the chest. The other three sat normally though they seemed a bit tense. Understandable; the ODSTs and Spartans had a very volatile history. It was a stupid rivalry, so far as she was concerned. They were all human, after all.

"Medical has been alerted and is prepping for your arrival," she told the Master Chief over open COM, noting how all the Spartans tilted their heads to listen. It also didn't escape her notice that one of the giant soldiers full-out flinched, looking up at her sharply. Definitely a strange reaction, but she didn't have the time to question it as the Pelican shook slightly exiting the atmosphere. There were no alerts from the ship about Covenant in the area, but she wouldn't be able to relax until they were in Slipspace.

"Thank you for your help, General," the Head Spartan replied, voice quiet and sounding vaguely tired. "Would it be possible to contact ONI Section Three? I need to make my report."

"I'll get a connection set up when we reach the ship," McCoy promised. She might have imagined the way he relaxed slightly at her words, but then decided not to question it. If he wanted to be relieved about being able to report, fine. There was no reason for her to care about his mission or actions. At least, that's what she kept telling the strange mess of nerves that had taken up residence in her gut. Perhaps she should go to medical as well. Besides, Takoda would probably have virtual kittens if she didn't get tested after that headache.

"General, we're cleared for landing," the pilot called from the cockpit. "Medical teams are on standby for the Spartans and ONI is waiting for you on COMs."

"Acknowledged," Klare replied, mentally wincing. Surely she could just have the Master Chief take that call, right? But if ONI wanted to talk to the Spartan, they would have asked for him. So no, it was up to her. Dammit. Keying into the ship's COM, she ordered, "Takoda, the moment the Pelican is secure, take us to Slipspace. I don't want to wait around for Covenant to come find us." Getting an acknowledgment light in reply, she tried to relax. For some reason, she couldn't.

Feeling the Pelican settle onto the launch bay deck, the redhead waited for the hatch to open before she was loping away, ignoring the medical personnel that rushed past her to reach their charges. Making her way through the halls of the ship, the officers tried to organize everything that had happened, wanting to keep the conversation as short as possible. Despite her grandmother being the head of ONI, the ODST didn't tend to get along with most agents. Apparently she was a bit too much of a free agent.

Reaching her office, Klare had barely pulled her helmet off before she suddenly heard, " _Kaine!_ " Looking up sharply, she saw a face on the nearest screen. It was a male with long black hair, a white band keeping strands off his face, and bright crimson eyes. He looked terrified, eyes wide and face tense. But when she blinked, he was gone, like he'd never existed. In his place was a headache, pounding dully in the back of her mind. A sharper pain behind her left collar bone left the redhead gasping, leaning hard against the closed door behind her.

"What the hell is going on?" the officer grunted, stumbling over to her desk and sitting down heavily. Whatever was happening, she needed to get a handle on it soon. So, reluctantly moving the trip to the medical wing up on her priorities list, she waited tensely for the pain to pass. By the time it did, she was soaked in sweat and gasping slightly. It took a few more seconds to compose herself before she could call up her COM system and connect to the waiting ONI call.

To her immense relief, her screen was filled with the face of her grandmother. "Admiral Parangosky," the redhead smiled, not having to force the joy as much as she'd feared. "It's good to see you."

"We were due for our monthly talk anyway, so I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone," the elderly officer replied cooly though there was a spark of laughter in her eyes that most people would miss. "But business first. Your ship reported that it was responding to a Alpha-Delta-Three-Five-One distress call. Has a rescue attempt been made?"

"Yes, Admiral, and it was successful. I currently have six Spartans aboard the ship; three are injured, but the Master Chief did not indicate how severe the damage was. All six are in medical and I will be making a call to ONI Section Three for the Chief to report in."

"Don't bother; I'll take his report. Head on down to medical and open a COM connection there so I can speak with him. We can have our usual conversation afterward." Nodding, Klare got back to her feet, noting that the pain in her chest was gone but the headache was still lurking in the shadows. It made her dizzy for a fraction of a second, but then she stabilized and walked out of her office. Each step made the throbbing in her skull a little worse, igniting the first spark of real worry in her chest.

Luckily, medical wasn't very far from her office; Commander Faldon had assigned her that office specifically for that reason since she had a tendency to ignore CMO orders. At least with her main center of operations just down the hall, the medical personnel didn't have to search for her that hard. Still, it was worth the walk just to see the looks of shock on everyone's faces as she willing stepped into the wing.

Smiling at all of the gaping ODSTs, Klare quickly scanned the area until she spotted the Master Chief near the back, standing with the other uninjured Spartans. Trotting over quickly, she felt a shiver run up her spine, triggering a frown. That couldn't be good. "Master Chief," she said briskly, unable to completely clear her face. "Admiral Parangosky has agreed to take your report; you can connect to her COM at that terminal," she pointed to a small section of the medical waiting area, "and the line shall remain secure." Nodding towards her, the large soldier made his way over quickly, followed closely by his men.

Wondering where the CMO was, as she wanted to get this damn checkup finished as soon as possible so she could get back to her duties, Klare moved deeper into medical, glancing into each room. She was just starting to think the man was on break when she looked into the last treatment area and spotted him. However, that took an instant backseat when she saw who he was treating. It was clearly a Spartan; most of the MJOLNIR armor was still in place, but the helmet had been removed, revealing the soldier's face. With the exception of a couple scars, it was a face the ODST knew well because it was the same one she saw in the mirror every damn morning.

"Lillian?"

The Spartan's head snapped around from where it had been watching the CMO, green eyes wide in surprise and a healthy dose of fear. Red bangs, just as bright and vivid as Klare's, fell into her face, hiding a couple scars but nearly glowing against the unnaturally pale skin. For several long seconds, the pair could only stare at each other, frozen in shock. Then, as the Spartan's eyes shifted to sadness, the ODST felt rage explode in her chest. Without a word, she spun on her heels and _ran_ , ignoring the calls of her name coming from the small room. Blowing past the startled Spartans in the waiting area, the redhead burst into the hall and just kept running. She wasn't sure where she thought she was going; she was on a damn ship in Slipspace. There was nowhere to escape to. That didn't change the feeling that she just had to run and keep running. It was the only way to hold herself together.

The run seemed to go on forever, but Klare finally collapsed down in the supply halls. Breathing harshly, she tried to push herself back to her feet, but her legs wouldn't cooperate at all. Even her arms were shaking, barely able to support her weight as she pulled herself to a wall so she could, at least, sit up. She wasn't sure how long she was down there, eyes closed and forcing herself to even out her breathing, but it didn't matter. It felt like her world was fracturing all around her; she could almost see the cracks forming on the walls. Actually, maybe she could because the damn headache was back and it felt like her skull was splitting. With a pained groan, the ODST closed her eyes and let her head hang, trying to escape the pain.

" _Kaine?_ " Looking up groggily, the redhead saw a Spartan squatting next to her, helmet removed. He had black hair and green/blue eyes, but the main thing she noticed was the scar that bisected one of his eyebrows. It felt important, somehow, which was preposterous because she'd never seen the man before. And besides, had he called her 'Kaine'?

"General?" the man said, gaze growing more concerned. "Are you injured?"

"No," she croaked, looking away. Her trembling had decreased to the point she thought she could get up though the headache pounded merrily on. "What are you doing down here, Spartan?"

"Takoda told me your location," he answered quietly. "He asked that a Spartan come get you and help you back to medical. The CMO is concerned about you."

"The CMO is always worried about something," the ODST muttered, wincing as her skull gave a particularly painful throb. "I am not in need of your assistance. Return to your commander." He didn't move. "Are you hard of hearing, Spartan?!"

"Fred."

"What?" she asked, startled enough to look back at him. There was a small smile tucked into the corners of his mouth, something she never thought she'd see on a Spartan. She wasn't a fool; the giant soldiers had been instrumental in the survival of the human species to that point, and she'd fought beside them several times. They were always focused, professional, and rather distant. The idea of a Spartan being able to smile was something she wasn't sure she was ready for. Although finding out her twin was a Spartan also fell into that category, so this seemed to be the day to challenge everything she thought she knew.

"My name is Fred," the male explained patiently, baby smile firmly in place. "Not Spartan. And the CMO officially sent me, but Master Chief and...Lillian were worried too. I'm not going back without you; that would be inviting a bullet in some non-vital part of my body."

"I doubt the Master Chief would shoot one of his own men," Klare argued, refusing to think about everything else the Spartan had said.

"He wouldn't," the large soldier agreed, sitting beside her at last. "Your sister," she flinched, "on the other hand, won't even hesitate. Trust me, she's shot at me for less. Was she always so protective over apple turnovers?"

"Yes," the redhead laughed, surprised that she could even remember how to do that. The sound didn't last long and she was right back to glaring in a second, but the fact that he'd made her forget her pain for that brief moment was strange. No one had done that before. "I'm not returning to medical, Spartan, so you might as well go back."

"I'm not going anywhere if you don't use my name," he replied, smile growing. "Come on, say it with me. Fred." He drew out his name, managing to sound chiding, encouraging, and patronizing at the exact same time. If this was how he usually was, Klare didn't have a single problem believing that Lillian had shot at him before.

"You're being insubordinate," she said sharply, although she had a feeling he could see the smile in her eyes that she was trying so hard to hide. "I've given you an order, Spartan, and last I checked, I outranked you."

"Yes, ma'am, you gave me an order," the man agreed easily. "And yes, you outrank me by astronomical amounts. But if you want to bring me up on charges of insubordination, you're going to have to get up and return to the main part of the ship. There are no screens down here to summon your AI to do the work for you. Or you can use my name to get me to do what you want. Either way, I win." Confused, the ODST shook her head slightly. She should be furious about the Spartan's words and actions, not amused! But her mind clearly didn't agree with that.

"Fine, _Fred_ ," she snarked, denying the strange sensation that went through her when he beamed at his name. "I'm ordering you to return to the Master Chief."

"Sorry, General, but the use of my name means that we're friends now, and I never leave a friend in need," the man said, a ridiculously huge smile on his face. He actually laughed when Klare gave in and elbowed him though that might have been because she ended up hurt more than him.

"You're impossible," the officer growled, savagely beating down the part of her mind that found the soldier amusing.

"It's what I strive for," he admitted, chuckling as he looked down at her. Then he froze, a look of utter confusion on his face. "Umm...General? You have a furry spot on your shoulder."

Startled, the redhead glanced down before smiling. "Oh, this? This is Pikku." There was no comprehension on his face. "She's a sugar glider." Nothing. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"No, ma'am," he admitted, though he seemed fascinated as he leaned down for a closer look. "Where did it come from?"

" _She_ came from my pocket," the ODST shrugged, reaching up to gently remove the small creature. "I must have missed snack time, although that would usually bring Ciuin out too." A laugh bubbled inside her at the look of surprise and confusion on the Spartan's face. Had she really thought that the large soldiers were emotionless once? "Do you want to hold her?"

"I won't hurt her?" he asked, expression changing instantly to concern. "I mean, she's smaller than the palm of your hand and I'm three times bigger than you."

"So long as you don't make a fist, she'll be fine," Klare smiled, handing the tiny sugar glider over and wanting to laugh when the giant Spartan basically turned into a statue. "You _can_ breathe, you know. Here, why don't you feed her while I take care of Mr. Lazy Butt?" Not waiting for the man to answer, she pulled out a piece of fruit and put it in his hand, unsurprised when the creature instantly picked it up and started eating. Without a concern in the world, she reached into her chest pocket and pulled out a second glider, which was glaring up at her sleepily. "Sorry, your Highness," she drawled, putting the new creature on her shoulder and offering him a grape that she seemed to pull out of thin air. He took the fruit grudgingly, never losing the glare as he munched.

With both gliders fed, the officer reluctantly admitted that she couldn't stay where she was any longer. Lillian or no Lillian, she was in command of the ODSTs until Faldon's return, so she needed to get back to her job. Besides, the headache had faded away while she sat next to the Spartan, giving her hope that she wouldn't faint as soon as she got up. "Time to join the general ship population," she sighed, slowly getting to her feet, waiting for the pain to hit. It never did. However, the Spartan stayed on the floor, holding the happily gorging glider. "Are you coming, Spartan?" He gave her a look, drawing out another sigh. "Are you coming, _Fred_?"

"I thought you'd never ask," he chirped, nearly bouncing to his feet, though Pikku remained blissfully undisturbed. "You're going to medical, right? Because your CMO is terrifying and I don't want him pissed at me."

"I suppose I have no option," Klare muttered, trying to take a step and realizing she must have screwed up her leg during the run, considering the spears of pain traveling up the bone. Wincing, she tried to hide the limp and ended up stumbling back into the wall, nearly dislodging her tiny passenger.

"Correction: you have absolutely no other option," Fred said, voice losing all of its teasing and friendliness as he drew himself up to full height. "You're injured, General. Pardon my insubordination, but I will carry you to medical if I must." His threat lost a lot of power with the sugar glider curiously crawling up his armor, but the redhead didn't doubt he'd follow through if he felt he had to.

"Fine, I will limp in that direction," she snarled, doing just that without glancing back. A tiny squeak from behind gave her enough warning to brace as Pikku suddenly launched off the Spartan, who yelped like a puppy, and landed on the back of her uniform. It was the work of a short second for the ball of fluff to crawl up on the redhead's unoccupied shoulder and settle down for the ride. That, the ODST didn't mind. The hulking soldier that was following her was a different matter altogether. "Surely the Spartans have been moved out of medical by now, so shouldn't you be on your way to them?"

"Master Chief told me to stick with you until I was sure you were safe," the man shrugged, a hint of playfulness back in his voice. "Besides, I left my helmet in medical." Snarling, the ODST tried to ignore him. Not an easy task with a human shaped mountain shadowing her every move. And the looks of her men as they traveled the halls didn't help at all, but she gave it her best effort.

Finally reaching the medical wing, Klare limped in, harsh words for her 'escort' ready and waiting on her tongue, but she froze when she spotted the small group that was still in the waiting area. Her doppelganger had looked up the second the ODST had entered, capturing her eyes with the only pair that had ever been identical. The officer could feel her breath freeze in her chest as all rational thought scattered, the headache returning with a righteous vengeance – until someone suddenly stepped between them, cutting off her view. Startled, she looked up at Fred's face, noting the smile and how it looked fake for the first time. Instead, she saw only concern.

The Spartan didn't say anything, and eventually the smaller redhead was able to get her legs to work so that she could finish her trip into the treatment area. Her hulking shadow kept pace the entire way, staying stubbornly between her and the face she had once known as well as she'd known her own. It wasn't until she was safe behind the privacy wall and a medical officer was guiding her onto an examination table that the soldier left. However, she could hear that he didn't exit the wing; instead, he made his way to the small group on the side. When the CMO didn't instantly appear at her side, Klare knew he must have been bogged down, and she settled in to wait, carefully putting Pikku and Ciuin back in their pockets. Sadly, the Spartans were apparently unaware of how thin the privacy walls actually were, because she heard the moment they started talking.

"You shouldn't have done that, Fred," a female voice said lowly, holding just enough of an accent for the officer to realize that it was her sister. "I wanted to talk to her, dammit! Not let her continue to hide!"

"Do you honestly think she can stand seeing you right now?" the male Spartan shot back, a slight amount of anger in his tone. "The first time she saw you, she ran. The second time, she froze. I get it, Lillian; she's your sister and you've missed her. There's not a single Spartan that isn't aware of how much you love her and how badly you've wanted to see her again. But you didn't see her in that hallway! She was broken. I called her five times before she so much as twitched. That's what the _sight_ of you did. How much worse will it be when you actually try to talk to her?"

"It's not your place to decide that!" Lillian snarled, sounding like that ugly old tom-cat she'd brought home when she was four. "It's hers!"

"Enough," a new voice cut in, male and deep. The Master Chief. "This conversation is pointless. What's done is done."

"John," Klare's twin said, voice conveying surprise and hurt in equal amounts.

"No, Lillian. It's not like ONI is going to allow the two of you to grow close again. Besides, your sister _did_ make her choice when she didn't stop Fred from shielding her from you. I'm sorry." A tense silence fell, leaving the smaller redhead sick to her stomach. Part of her wanted to rush around the thin wall and pull her sister into a hug that she'd never release her from, and the other part wanted to go and shoot the woman between the eyes for letting the younger believe she was dead all these years. Neither option was actually acceptable, so she stayed stubbornly where she was. The headache was coming back anyway.

"General," Takoda suddenly said, appearing on the screen next to her bed. "Incoming message from Admiral Parangosky. It's marked Priority One."

"Right," the ODST grunted, noting that the group outside had fallen silent. "Does it concern the Spartans?"

"Most likely."

"You heard the AI; get your asses in here," Klare called. A long moment later, Fred peeked in, a look of embarrassment on his face. "Now, Spartan, or are you all too busy talking about me?" He didn't answer, though he did enter the rest of the way, followed in close order by the other giant soldiers. By the time Lillian stepped in, the officer was looking firmly away. "Alright, Takoda. Patch the COM through." The AI nodded, vanishing, but in his place was that same strange face the ODST had seen in her office. Then the image was gone, replaced by the frowning face of her grandmother. The redhead watched as the older woman's gaze flicked to the Master Chief, the only Spartan close enough to appear on screen with her, before focusing on her again.

"I'm sorry, General McCoy, but ONI needs your help," the Admiral said. She wasn't sorry at all for giving the ODST more work, but rather that her division wasn't capable of completing its own work. "The Spartans are on a vital mission, and they have learned of a possible advantage we could gain over the Covenant. To follow that lead, I require your ship to deliver them to the planet of Greydowns." The younger officer frowned; Greydowns had been glassed nearly a decade before. What were the Spartans doing, going from lost planet to lost planet? But that was not a safe question to ask, despite the closeness she shared with her grandmother. In their family, it was a given fact that sometimes you just plain didn't ask.

"I understand, Admiral," Klare said instead, mind already racing to figure out what orders she had to give. "We'll be under way ASAP."

"Very good, General." The ancient female fell silent for a second, glancing at the Master Chief with obvious suspicion, before she gave a little sigh and looked right into her granddaughter's eyes, gaze softening almost unnoticeably. "Are you doing alright? I know it's a lot to ask, today of all days."

"I'm fine," the ODST cut in, voice hard and not inviting conversation. "If there's nothing else, Admiral?" Parangosky didn't reply and the redhead cut the COM.

"Where are you going, General?" the Master Chief asked when the ODST swung her legs off the examination table and got back to her feet.

"Take a guess," she snapped back, getting to her feet and absolutely refusing to admit she was still in pain. "Your team's not going anywhere if I don't give orders to the bridge." The large soldier was standing in her way, but when she pushed, he let her move him. And there was no doubt that he was _allowing_ the action, which only served to piss the redhead off even more. She'd never agreed with the conflict between Spartans and ODSTs, but that didn't stop her from wanting to punch the man.

"Why today, of all days?" Fred asked, his voice quiet. Klare would have ignored the question if it had come from any other, but for some reason, she felt like she couldn't disregard him. That didn't mean she had to be nice.

"Because it's the anniversary of my twin sister's death," she bit out, forcing herself to not react as she passed by the Spartan in question. "Now clear out of my medical bay." Not giving them a chance to respond, the General swept out of the treatment room and jogged away, refusing to acknowledge the pain in her leg.

It took all of the ODST's focus to reach the bridge without collapsing, but the second she stepped off the lift, she felt a wave of peace sweep over her. The rest of ship seemed warped to her, in ways that she couldn't fully comprehend, but the bridge was just they way she'd always known it to be. She worried about what was happening to her, but so long as she had one safe place, she could keep moving forward. "Takoda," she barked, watching the AI materialize on the holographic projector. "Plot a course to Greydowns. Admiral Parangosky has ordered us to drop the Spartans off there." Yes, the AI was already well aware of those orders, but the redhead still said it out loud for the benefit of the other humans on the bridge.

"Course already plotted, General," the data construct replied easily. "Ready on your command. And the CMO is currently throwing a temper tantrum that is completely inappropriate for his age."

"I have no doubt about that," Klare muttered, rolling her eyes. "Take us into Slipspace. I want this mission completed as soon as possible."

"Yes, General." The redhead waited only long enough to see the monitors go black as the ship entered Slipspace, before she walked over to the office just off the bridge. She still wasn't sure why Eric had a ready room; it wasn't a standard feature in ships and had actually required a complete redesign of the bridge to be built at all. However, she could definitely see the appeal of the space. It gave the Commander a place to work and fulfill his duties while being close to the action and easily on hand if anything happened. In a war against Covenant, that could only be a good thing.

The door to the ready room had barely slid shut behind her before the headache rushed back. She hadn't expected the pain, and it drove her to her knees. In seconds, her vision was swimming and she wasn't sure she could tell up from down. Then the voices drifted in. Her head was pounding, so she couldn't figure out what was being said, but she felt like they were asking her questions. Something deep inside her rebelled, refusing to answer. She had to keep quiet. They couldn't know...she couldn't tell them!

"General?!" A hand landed on her shoulder, startling the ODST back into the present moment. She was on her hands and knees, gasping, droplets of blood on the floor. It took a moment to realize the blood was coming from her nose. Then the hand gently squeezed and she forced herself to look up. It was Fred, and she couldn't explain why that didn't surprise her. "General, can you hear me?" he asked, voice tight with worry. "General?!"

"Why?" the redhead croaked, feeling tears gathering in her eyes. That wasn't what she'd meant to say, but now that it was out, she couldn't stop. "Why didn't she tell me she was alive? Why did she let me think she was dead all this time?" The Spartan's eyes shifted, becoming sad, and the sight was so wrong that she couldn't stand seeing it. With a supreme amount of effort, she looked down and pushed him away, feeling him stumble slightly in surprise. "Forget it. What are you doing here?"

"Master Chief has been calling," Fred answered quietly, not stopping her as she forced herself to her feet. "He needs to talk to you about the mission. When you didn't answer, he sent me."

"Very well, now get out," she hissed, limping over to the desk. She didn't have time to worry about the strange episodes she seemed to be having. A more pressing concern was why she was reacting to the Spartan in such an abnormal fashion. It was like her mind couldn't make up her mind; sometimes she felt like they were perfect strangers and other times she felt like he was one of the most important people in her life. Granted, it was just one more confusing thing on top of everything else that had been happening since Commander Faldon left for that meeting, but still.

"General, you're not well," Fred said, weathering the glare she sent him. "I know you're going to say it's none of my business, but it actually is. We're depending on you to help us complete our mission; if you're sick or injured, we need to know."

In the span of a second, over a dozen lies had jumped to the tip of Klare's tongue. A side-effect of being the grandchild of the Head of ONI; she always had a cover story ready. But that damn flutter was back in her chest and she couldn't bring herself to say any of them. Instead, she slowly, reluctantly, realized that the only thing she could say was the truth.

"I'm not sure what's wrong," she admitted quietly, unable to meet his gaze, so settling for fiddling with a pen instead. "I've been getting these headaches and I hear voices. It comes and goes, but it gets worse every time." He didn't say anything, and she risked a glance. To her surprise, he didn't look like he didn't believe her. If anything, he appeared to be trying to figure things out to find a solution. "You're not going to tell me I'm crazy?"

"I've found you unresponsive and in pain twice," he reminded her. "Not to mention the bloody nose and the injured leg that seems to have healed itself since you're not limping anymore. I don't have an explanation for what's happening, but I can't ignore the evidence I have." Nodding, the redhead looked away again. "And I realize you probably don't actually want an answer, but she didn't tell you because she couldn't."

"Doesn't matter," the ODST shrugged, though a tiny knot of anger slowly loosened in her chest. She could still remember her grandmother telling her about the Spartan program and how secret it was, after the giant warriors had been revealed of course. It actually wasn't that far-fetched to believe that Lillian had been incapable of telling her. "I told you to leave."

"You didn't say my name." The officer managed to hold in her laugh, but she couldn't stop the sardonic smile from creeping onto her face. "Besides...she'll probably come with the Chief. I thought you could use the support."

"Possibly," Klare admitted quietly, just before the door slid open. She glanced up long enough to see the Master Chief step in, Lillian on his heels, before she had to look away again. Taking a deep breath, she moved to the other side of the desk and sat down, folding her hands on top of the piece of furniture and forcing herself to be professional. "Master Chief," she greeted, looking at his helmet and nothing else. "Fred said you need to speak with me." Though she couldn't see his face, she knew the Spartan was giving her shadow a look before he focused back on her. But...actually...how did she know that?

"Yes, General," the Chief replied, standing stiffly until she irritably waved a hand for him to stand-at-ease. "I wish to request the use of one of your Pelicans when we reach Greydowns. My team and I can handle the mission on our own and I see no need to risk you ODSTs, but we do require transportation and won't fit in a HEV pod."

"You can say that again," the General snorted, feeling a tiny smile in the corners of her mouth. "You're nearly as tall as the outer hull of a pod. Very well, Master Chief, I see no reason why you can't use a Pelican. Although I do ask that you use the greatest care with the dropship; Commander Faldon will have my ass if anything happens to any of his equipment while he's gone." Not being able to see the man's face made it hard to gauge his reactions, but she guessed from the way he shifted that he found her amusing. "In the meantime, you and your men are more than welcome to anything my ship can provide. Weapons, ammo, food, or even just sleep. I'll send out the order to alert the rest of the officers."

"Thank you, ma'am," he said, relaxing just slightly. Was he honestly expecting her to say no? Although come to think of it, most ODSTs would refuse him for no reason other than his branch. So yes, he was probably surprised. The thought made the redhead quietly grind her teeth, but she forced the irritation down. She could deal with that later.

"Of course, Spartan," she said instead, calling up a small smile for him. Then, forming a fist under the table where no one would see, "You're free to go if you wish, but I'd like to speak with Sierra 113, with your permission." Despite the fact that she was not looking at her sister, she could still see the flinch of surprise. Understandable, but it hurt for some reason. She didn't want to be the reason for Lillian's pain, though it was a bit late to realize that. "And her permission too, of course."

It took a bit of effort, but Klare was able to control her jealousy when the Master Chief turned to look at her twin and the pair had a silent conversation. After all, she had no right to be upset that someone else had learned to read her sister that well. The decades of secrets and lies between them actually made it questionable if she knew the other redhead at all.

Apparently coming to an agreement, the Chief turned back to the General and saluted before silently walking out of the room, leaving Lillian behind. Fred followed a couple seconds later, throwing the ODST a look of encouragement before the door slid shut. For several tense seconds, the two redheads could only stare at each other, unable to find words that would start the conversation. At least, until Klare had to look away, playing with one of Eric's antique pens. "It was warm for May," she said quietly. "You went out to water the garden and you didn't come back in. When I went out to check, you were gone. Doc said you'd been dead for over an hour before I found you." The room was silent, and then the Spartan moved forward and carefully sat in one of the chairs next to the desk. "We buried you the next day, out at Rainbow Falls. Even Grandmother came to say goodbye. It was...nice...I guess."

"Was Rainbow Falls your idea?" Lillian asked quietly. Though she was still refusing to look, the ODST knew the other smiled when she nodded. "Thank you. I can't think of a better place to spend eternity."

"The clone deserved it," was the quiet answer, green eyes flicking up for a fraction of a second before focusing on the desk once more. "That's what it was, wasn't it? A flash clone of you." She caught the movement of a nod out of the corner of her eyes. "ONI's idea?"

"Who else?" Good question.

"And Grandmother didn't know?"

A hand came into her field of vision, carefully laying over the pen she'd been messing with. "She did not. The Doctor in charge kept our identities secret from everyone that didn't absolutely need to know. Actually, Grandma still doesn't know. No one does."

"Except me." Unable to sit still any longer, Klare got up quickly, moving away; she needed the distance or she wouldn't be able to focus. There was a buzz of electricity under her skin and she couldn't figure out why. Not to mention the headache that was pounding along merrily in the back of her skull. It felt similar to a concussion, but she hadn't hit her head recently, so that couldn't be it. "You couldn't have dropped us a note or something? Do you have any idea what your death did to the family?"

"There was no contact allowed between the Spartans and our families," Lillian admitted, not moving from her seat. "The clones were left to die in our place to give a sense of closure for the family. Isn't that what happened?"

"Dad committed suicide." The officer could feel the room turn icy, but she still couldn't turn around. "He just...couldn't accept it. Mom sent me to Grandmother and then basically became a vegetable. She lives in a nursing home now, trapped in her memories of the past. Doesn't even recognize me when I come to visit. So you tell me; did they get closure?" There was no answer forthcoming, but she hadn't really expected one. "You know, I almost wish you _were_ dead, because it would be less painful."

"And I wish you'd never seen me," the Spartan admitted, voice low and filled with regret. "I never wanted to hurt you. Ever since augmentations I've kept an eye on you, and I'm impressed with everything you've done. You're amazing; I don't think I have ever been prouder in my life. That's why I never told you, specifically. Didn't want to hurt you, and didn't want to possibly ruin everything you've built on your own."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Klare snapped, finally turning to glare, stubbornly ignoring the flash of pain in her upper chest.

"No," her twin answered, gaze steady as she met the accusations. "It's supposed to be the truth. Because the last time I spoke to you, I told you a lie. I said I hated you. I'm not going to risk letting our last words be lies again." Silence stretched between them, tense and shaky, until the ODST looked away again with a small growl. Still, the Spartan didn't move. She just sat there, patiently waiting, until the smaller twin sighed and leaned against the wall, not bothering to pretend to be fine anymore. Though when she looked at her older sister with tear-filled eyes, it was the hardest thing Lillian had ever done to stay where she was.

"I don't hate you either," the officer said quietly. "I'm angry...and I'm hurt. I want to scream every time I look at you and I won't be able to look in a mirror for a month without it hurting...but I don't hate you." A knot in her chest that she'd never noticed before was coming undone, releasing her from a pain that she'd forgotten she felt. How long, exactly, had she wanted to say those words? And where had this come from? She and the clone had made up within three days of that fight and had never said those horrible words again. So why...?

"General McCoy?" Takoda called, appearing on the holo-projector suddenly. "The CMO is frothing at the mouth and demands that you return to medical before he uses his power to remove you from duty and carries you down himself." Ignoring her sister's barely concealed snort, Klare settled for scowling. She really didn't need this type of harassment on top of everything else.

"Tell him to stuff his demands; if he is so damn determined to examine me, he can come up here and do so while I get my work done," she snapped, distantly noting the surprise on both faces, though her sister's expression was a bit more obvious. "What is our ETA to Greydowns?"

"An hour, General."

"Thank you, now return to your duties." The AI nodded and vanished, completely unaware that the entire conversation he had been flickering between his form and that strange face, causing the ODST's headache to grow increasingly worse. At this rate, she was going to be bedridden before they reached the planet. "And as for you," the officer said quietly, again unable to look at her sister. "Thank you for explaining, but leave. I have a lot of work to do and I can't afford the distraction."

"You've spent too much time with Grandma," Lillian sighed, but she stood up regardless. No matter how many years it had been since she'd seen her sister, she knew that tone of voice. Just like any other twin, she loved to push at sibling boundaries, but that tone was to be respected at all times. It meant pain to anyone that ignored it. "Will I...be able to talk to you again?"

"Unless your vocal cords get cut out anytime soon, yes," was the acidic answer, but there was no heat, making the Spartan frown. Maybe something was wrong after all. "In the meantime, go back to your team. I'm sure you have mission prep-work that needs to be completed."

Nodding reluctantly, the taller redhead stepped over to the door and it slid open, but she was startled at the blur that shot past her with a happy cry of, "Hello, friend!" It took several seconds too long to realize what was happening, and then she was spinning around, a look of horror on her face. Yes, Fred could be annoying, but he was her brother and she loved him. There was no way he could know that Klare was not in a good place; that the absolute _last_ thing he should be doing is breaking into her personal space. She had to stop him! She had to –

– stare, apparently, as her sister gave the ridiculously taller Spartan a weak smile, but didn't push him away. "Why am I not surprised?" the shorter redhead _chuckled_ , settling into the large chair again with a sigh. "Fine, you can stay, but keep quiet."

"I'm not sure that's possible," Fred admitted with a smile of his own, but he still settled on the ground, head easily above the level of the desk so he could watch the officer. After a long second, Lillian turned and left without a sound. It hurt, knowing her sister wouldn't let her close, but she could trust Fred. The man was an idiot on occasion, even though every Spartan knew it was only an act, but he was good at heart. He also had the ability to know what people needed, even when they didn't. If he thought her sister needed him, she probably did. At least she wouldn't be alone.

Inside the ready room, Klare could feel some of the tension slip away when her sister finally left, the door sliding shut quietly behind her. She wouldn't lie to herself by saying that the conversation had gone the way she'd hoped, but neither of them had bled in any way, so she'd settle for that. "You're an oversized puppy, you know that, right?" she drawled, giving the strange Spartan a look, unable to keep the smile off her face. It was strange, but whenever she was around the man, her headache faded away. Psychosomatic? Possibly. In fact, probably, but she wasn't going to look into the situation more than she had to.

"I've been told that before," Fred laughed, smile on his face. "Speaking of cute, small, furry creatures, can I see Pikku again?" Laughing under her breath, the ODST pulled the small sugar glider from her reinforced pocket and handed her over. She could see when the small marsupial looked back to make sure she wasn't going anywhere before happily climbing up the Spartan's armor and settling on his head. The look of pure joy on the man's face felt like a blow straight to the officer's chest...but a good blow. Oh dear chocolate, no. No. She was _not_ developing a crush on this soldier. No, no, absolutely not, no...dammit!

"She likes you," the redhead said, looking away quickly to deal with her heart trying to beat out of her chest. Dammit all, this was not the time to suddenly realize that she could be attracted to other people! But despite a part of her mind insisting that these feelings were wrong, it felt so _right_ , curse it all! Fred was...laughter and fun and smiles and...

...safe. That was the word she was looking for. Around Fred she just felt safe. Like nothing could hurt her, nothing could harm her. For a brief second, her mind flashed an image she couldn't understand. It was a boy, young, Fred? He was holding out his hand, a smile on his face. And she was grabbing that hand. He'd promised to protect her. But that made absolutely no sense and she wasn't going to think about it because the headache was finally gone and like hell was she inviting it back.

"I like her too," the large man laughed, apparently perfectly at ease as the small creature climbed through his hair. "Yours looks jealous." Surprised, the redhead looked down to see Ciuin poking his head out of his pocket, glaring up at her. "Is that little guy _ever_ in a good mood?"

"No," she sighed, pulling the contrary sugar glider out. "That's why I named him Ciuin Sollunata. Clearly it didn't work." Seeing the Spartan's confused expression, she smiled softly. "It means Quietly Solemn." A look of understanding appeared and the larger soldier chuckled, holding still as Pikku climbed back off his head and started exploring his armor. "Her full name is Pikku Susi. It means Little Wolf."

"You named a sugar glider Little Wolf?" The laughter in his voice coaxed a real grin onto the ODST's face, and she chuckled but didn't answer. Let him think what he wanted. Silence fell between them for several comfortable seconds before a fresh wave of pain hit and Klare doubled over with a grunt. Her ears were roaring and her vision dimmed, but she could feel a large hand suddenly grab her shoulder and hold her up as her body tried to pitch forward. Locking her jaw against the screams that were bubbling up, the redhead closed her eyes tightly, trying to fight through the attack. The hand on her shoulder moved to her arm and she felt a needle prick. Cracking her eyes open, she tried to jerk away with a cry, but something was holding her down. She wasn't in the office, there was no Fred, just some faceless man injecting something into her arm while she was tied to a table. A voice in the back of her mind screamed, but then she felt like something grabbed her spine and pulled her back, slamming her down. It was so sudden she could only close her eyes again, snapping them open when her body hit the floor. Fred was looking down at her, fear in the lines of his face; his lips were moving but she couldn't hear anything. Then the darkness overtook her and she knew no more.

* * *

Waking up to the sounds of a heart monitor was never pleasant. Less so with a pounding skull and the taste of iron in her mouth. But the cherry on top of the whole messed up situation was the body heat she could feel right next to her. If her luck was good, it was the CMO, ready to tear her a new one. But if her luck was bad, and let's face it, that was the only luck she'd had recently, it would be a hulking Spartan. She couldn't decide which would be worse, Fred or Lillian, because both would go into instant over-protective mode and she'd be utterly smothered and how the hell did she know this about Fred?!

"I know you're awake, General," a voice suddenly said beside her, low and only vaguely warm. "You're heart rate has increased by twelve percent and you're not twitching anymore." She knew the voice, if only distantly, and she struggled to put a face to the sound. Instead, her mind supplied a name and she nearly groaned.

Master Chief. Great. Just great.

Cracking her eyes open, Klare looked to the side to confirm that, yes, it was the Master Chief, looking far too at home in the chair he was occupying. How was the thing even holding his weight? A quick glance around showed that she was in a private room and there were no other occupants. That was either very good or very bad. "What happened?" she croaked, wincing at the parody of a voice that came out of her throat. Then a glass of water was suddenly at her lips, the Chief waiting patiently for her to take a couple light slips before putting the cup back beside her.

"You passed out," he said succinctly. "Fred panicked and called me and the CMO." Groaning, the redhead closed her eyes again. That couldn't be good. "It seems my SiC is quite taken with you. Or maybe just with the two balls of fur that won't let go of his armor."

"He has Pikku and Ciuin?" the redhead mused, wincing at the same time a weak smile appeared on her face. "That's a recipe for disaster." She thought she heard a low chuckle of agreement, but that didn't make any sense, so she dropped the idea. "The CMO?"

"One of his nurses ambushed him with a sedative," came the easy answer, and he waited patiently for her to stop laughing. "Apparently he's been running himself as ragged as you are." The ODST felt like she could laugh forever, but then she could feel the Spartan frown. Pushing aside the question of just how the hell she knew that, she focused on him. "He did say that you have traces of an unknown substance in your blood, like you'd been drugged. Injuries also appear for no reason before healing rapidly. There is no scientific explanation for what is happening to you, but that does not change the severity. You could have died."

"If he doesn't know what it is, he can't stop it," the officer grunted, forcing herself to sit up, despite the Spartan's obvious displeasure. "And if he can't stop it, I might as well carry on. Takoda!"

"Yes, General?" the AI chimed, appearing on the screen nearby. He looked perfectly calm, but the redhead could see the concerned tilt of his mouth. Unusual, but it was apparently the day for unusual events.

"ETA to Gredowns?"

"Seven minutes, General." Nodding sharply, Klare swung her legs off the bed and attempted to stand up. However, she didn't get very far before a large hand grabbed her and gently tugged her back onto the bed. Scowling, she turned to glare at the Master Chief, acidic words on her tongue. Those words died, though, as something inside warned her to keep quiet.

"You shouldn't be moving, General," the Spartan said quietly. "No one knows what's wrong, but that also means that no one knows if it's going to get worse. That's not a risk we should be taking."

"Why do you care?" the ODST asked, unable to sound as accusing as she wanted. It didn't make any sense to her; the Spartans had never cared about ODSTs and the same was true in reverse. This protectiveness was unusual and she wasn't sure she could trust it, despite what her gut was screaming.

"Fred is my brother and closest friend," the large soldier answered easily. "If he is worried, I am as well." There was more, she could feel it, so she gave the man a look and waited. After a long moment of hesitation, he sighs and looks away, eyes still hidden. "Besides, Lillian would never forgive me if I let something happen to you." There was a strange note in his voice that left the redhead confused until she recognized it. The ODSTs were always getting that tone and it meant nothing but headaches and paperwork when it happened. Funny, that even the Spartans were not immune.

"You love her," she said bluntly, no hint of a question or doubt in her voice. The flinch she got was all the confirmation she needed. "Have you told her?"

"Once," he admitted, sounding like his mouth was curled into a wry smile. "She shot me in the leg for it." She tried, she really did, but Klare couldn't stop the amused snort if her life depended on it. While it was true she didn't know her twin like she used to, she still had no problem believing Lills would do that. "She'll shoot me again if I let you get hurt."

"Call it an order then," Klare piped, finally able to give him a real smile as she managed to get up. "I _do_ outrank you, after all. Besides, all I'm doing is escorting you and the Spartans to the Pelican. You're on your own from then and I'll come right back here." She wasn't entirely sure he believed her, but he nodded regardless and followed as she walked out. He didn't even say anything when she stumbled in the halls, though he did let her lean on him until she got her balance back. His quiet support felt agonizingly familiar, but she refused to think about it. Clearly, her mind was not as reliable as she'd originally thought, but that was okay. It would give her something to laugh about later.

Arriving in the launch bay, the officer instantly saw the Spartans. Even if the shortest of them hadn't been over six feet in height, it was hard to miss a group of people in hulking armor. All five were waiting, which must have meant that the injured were sufficiently healed. They looked like robots, standing as still as they were, faces hidden behind their helmets. Well, except for Fred, who had his helmet propped on his hip. He was the first to spot her, smiling and making a happy sound that had every Spartan looking right at her. Right, because that wasn't creepy at all. "Aren't you supposed to be geared up?" the redhead couldn't help but tease, a weak smile on her own face. It didn't escape her notice when the armor she recognized as Lillian's flinched. She wasn't sure why she was so much more comfortable with the Spartan she'd never met before, but that's how it was.

"My helmet is built for single occupancy," Fred chuckled, tilting his head down to reveal a dosing Pikku still nestled in his hair. "Little Wolf here won't fit."

"Sorry," Klare groaned, reaching up to grab her mischievous glider. She held still as Ciuin jumped onto her shoulder as well, smiling at the sleepy squeaks she was being subjected to. And no, she was not disappointed at all when the large Spartan put his helmet on and she couldn't see his face anymore. Not at all.

"General." Looking back at the Master Chief, the redhead couldn't stop a frown from crossing her face. The pounding in her skull had gotten worse, along with the strange sensation of electricity running just beneath her skin. Her breathing was speeding up and she could feel the tremble in her arms and legs that always came before a fight. Something was very, very wrong. "Our mission will take several weeks and ONI will be sending transport to pick us up. Would you prefer to assign a pilot that will take us down to the planet so that you do not lose a Pelican?"

"Considering Commander Faldon will murder me if I lose a Pelican, yes," she answered, trying to force a smile and not quite managing it. But when she looked around, she realized there was a problem. There were no pilots available. Belatedly, she remembered that the pilots were supposed to be attending a training seminar that day; they were all off duty because there wasn't supposed to be a need for them. She could pull one out if she had to, but that would leave them behind on the information side. That left her with one option, and she knew there would be resistance to it. "I'll fly you down. And," she barked when it looked like three of the Spartans were going to argue, "to avoid the inevitable argument, that's an order. Load up." It took several seconds more than she wanted, but Fred eventually obeyed, gently pulling Lillian along. The rest of the oversized soldiers followed, Master Chief waiting for McCoy to board before he brought up the rear.

Settling into the pilot's seat, Klare ran a pre-flight check as Takoda's voice informed her that they'd dropped out of Slipstream and were approaching Greydowns. There was no sign of Covenant, but he would keep her up-to-date on the scans he was performing. There was a brief second where the redhead was sure she'd heard another cry of " _Kaine!_ " but then she received the green light and was gunning the engines, feeling the dropship come to life around her. Though she would never be a fully trained pilot, it took no effort to drift from the _Avalon_. Through the glass, she could see the burned remains of Greydowns, and she felt a flicker of anger come to life in her chest. No matter how many years went by, she couldn't forgive the Covenant for what they had done. What they were doing. She'd lost too many people she cared for to this war to _ever_ be able to forgive the aliens.

"You shouldn't be out of the medical bay." Swallowing a sigh, the ODST glanced back to see her sister had settled into the seat closest to the cockpit. She couldn't see anything past the helmet, but she was willing to bet she knew the expression on her twin's face. It was the same one she always wore when one of her ODSTs was being stupid. "The CMO said-"

"I don't care," the officer said sharply, focusing on the dropship controls. "My pilots were otherwise occupied and I am not willing to lose a Pelican, so you're going to have to accept this." Did she actually expect Lillian to do that? No, absolutely not. Still, at least she'd said it.

The dropship was just about to enter the atmosphere when that damn energy under her skin _surged_ and pain slammed into the smaller redhead so hard she actually screamed as she doubled over. For a long second, she felt like she'd been tortured, feeling every injury throb agonizingly before the world righted itself and she was back on the Pelican. The Spartans were just reacting to her cry when there was a scream of, "General!" Then the sound of a large explosion slammed into the small dropship, throwing everyone to the side. Alarms started blaring as they hit the atmosphere wrong; the hull instantly cracking under the unanticipated stress. With a yell, Klare managed to grab the controls and yank the damaged craft back into position, but it was too late. One engine was gone and the other was whining dangerously as they plummeted.

Holding onto the controls grimly, the ODST tried to keep the ship as steady as she could, already knowing it wasn't going to help. The best she could do was bring them down in a generally upright position. Still, that was better than an outright crash, right? At least, she thought that until a Spartan was suddenly grabbing her arms, pulling her away. She had enough time to look and realize it was Fred before he had her in his arms and was racing for the aft hatch. The Spartans must have blown it during the fall, because it was wide open and the armored soldier ran right out. A brief flare of panic swept through the officer as they free-fell, but then there was a sound like an explosion and they got hit by a shockwave. Fred was curled around her, trying to protect her from the blast, but she knew what it was. The Pelican. If he hadn't pulled her out...

Like a relentless enemy, the pain slammed back into her, stealing her breath as the pair fell. Her vision tunneled, going dark around the edges, until she couldn't tell if her eyes were open or closed. She could feel a knife against her skin and her skull was throbbing as though she'd just been hit with a crowbar. Voices floated through her mind; words like 'truth-serum' and 'unexpected reaction' managed to stick, but she had no context for them. Suddenly, clear as day, the same voice that had been falling out for 'Kaine' said two words.

" _I'm sorry._ "

Then they landed hard, pain lancing through the officer's body as she was violently jarred. She knew she cried out, but she couldn't hear anything. Vaguely she could feel Fred running and there was a stale wind against her face, but she still couldn't see. It felt like she was wrapped in a cocoon, cut off from the actual word. The pain was a steady throb through her body as the energy under her skin had faded back to a faint pulse. However, it was still there, and that scared her.

After what felt like an eternity, Klare felt Fred finally slow to a stop. There was a vague murmur of voices around her that should couldn't identify, and then a large hand rested on her forehead. With supreme effort, the redhead tried to open her eyes and was rewarded by a pale light filtering in. It took a moment for the colors and blurs to come into focus, but when they did she realized she was looking up at her sister's face. There was worry there, as well as fear, but also a profound sense of relief. However, when Lillian's lips started moving, there was no sound. Painfully, the ODST shook her head, watching dizzily as confusion swept into her twin's expression before clearing with a look of pain. Slowly, the taller redhead tried again, mouthing slowly. 'Are you okay?'

"No," the officer tried to say, feeling the vibrations in her throat, but unable to hear it. "Can't hear." Lillian nodded, expression changing to regret. "My...ship?" Sadness flooded her twins face, giving the only answer she needed. It was gone. The ship, her ODSTs, everything. Gone.

The Spartan glanced up sharply, reacting to something the younger twin couldn't hear, before looking back down, a clearly fake smile on her face. She mouthed a few more words, promising that they'd all be okay, before suddenly moving out of sight. Klare wanted to look for her, but the arms around her were tightening and they were moving again. Struggling to stay aware, the redhead looked up and focused on Fred's helmet. Even though she couldn't see through it, she thought about the expression he probably had. Focused, determined, confidant. There wouldn't be any fear there, because Spartans never give into fear. It's a challenge for them to overcome, nothing more. As long as he had her, she was safe. Right?

Right?

The steady movement of the Spartan was nearly enough to lull the redhead to sleep, but when he suddenly came to a complete stop, she was jarred back into painful clarity. Looking around to figure out what had made him halt, her eyes went wide. They were surrounded by Covenant. Hulking Hunters, deadly Elite, rabid Jackals. They were everywhere. A large body moved between her and the enemies, and Klare vaguely realized it was the Master Chief, but there wasn't anything he could do. The only ship that had been in the area was hers. ONI wasn't scheduled to arrive for a couple weeks. Oh god, ONI. Her grandmother. This was going to kill her.

Movement on her chest made the ODST look down. Pikku was peeking out of her pocket, looking up at her with those big, dark eyes. Smiling weakly, ignoring the tears in her eyes, she lifted a gloved hand and gently pet the small creature. She felt as Fred knelt, and then one arm was releasing her and coming up to cup protectively over the sugar glider. Glancing up, the redhead saw that Fred's helmet was gone and he was staring down at them both, tears in his eyes as well. Trying to chuckle, Klare looked down again in time to see Ciuin also crawling out from his pocket. He still had his angry scowl in place, but he walked right up to her face and gently cuddled in under her chin. The tears finally started falling and the officer desperately wanted to close her eyes, but she couldn't. All she could do was stare as Pikku rubbed against Fred's giant hand, trying to burn the image into her memory as the area was suddenly lit up with sickly green light. It was the last thing she saw.

And then her eyes snapped open.

It was bright. So bright. Something was holding down her arms; she couldn't move. The pain was shooting through her, far more intense than she'd ever felt before. There were voices all around her, talking, yelling. What was happening? " _Kaine!_ " That damn voice was back, echoing inside her skull. No, wait, not a voice. An AI. Vincent?

For one horrible second, every memory collided. She knew what it was like to grow up with her family. She knew what it was like to go through augmentations. Eric was her mentor. Eric was her father. John. Lillian. Fred. It all slammed into each other, each memory fighting tooth and nail to prove that it was true and everything was false. Her mind _screamed_ , torn nearly in half by the agony that she was being subjected to. And then everything snapped together and she spent one long, horrible second as two completely separate people that were terrifyingly the same. No mind can stand weight like that, though, and she broke. All that remained was a single thought.

Escape.

* * *

Time: 1708\

November 03, 2537\

Insurrectionist Base, Onyx

"Crap, get down!" the leader called out, diving to the side seconds before the air was filled with bullets. Not hearing any cries of pain behind him, the Marine knew his men had obeyed, allowing him to focus on returning fire. The Insurrectionist bastards were really starting to bug him, what with the constant ambushes. Of all the enemy bases he'd raided, this underground rabbit's warren was quickly becoming his most hated. Situations like this were usually solved by just bombing the entire damn base into tiny atoms, but this time he had a new priority, namely the rescue of Captain Kaine Faldon. That objective forced him to move through enemy ground slowly, checking every room and, unfortunately, setting off every damn trap. At least he hadn't lost any men yet.

When the shooting finally faded out, Sergeant Johnson got back to his feet, sweeping the area before giving the 'all-clear' signal. Emerging from whatever shelter they'd managed to find during the firefight, his squad reassembled. "Alright, Corporal, how much farther?" the Marine grunted around the cigar still firmly lodged in his mouth. "Shouldn't we have found the holding pens by now?"

"We're about half-way through the base, Sarge," the young man said, slapping a new magazine into his rifle. "Captain Faldon is probably in the cells closest to the control center for added security." Grumpily, Johnson nodded, having to acknowledge the likeliness of the idea. The damn Innies had to know that the child of Commander Eric Faldon was a treasure trove of information and would try to keep her as long as possible. Personally, he wished they'd been set out right after her capture, but the UNSC command had dragged their heels; kept insisting they couldn't prioritize the rescue of a mere Captain. Now, there was no way to know if they were rescuing an officer or a corpse.

The Sergeant wasn't holding out much hope. He'd only met the young officer once before, and while he'd found her to be a pleasant enough person, he knew how the Insurrectionists worked. They were masters at interrogation, easily on par with ONI, and they weren't afraid of causing pain or permanent injury. He'd seen stronger soldiers than the Captain break after only a couple hours, and she'd been gone for nearly a month. The longer Faldon held out, the less likely she'd survive the experience. Which left him with the dubious honor of having to tell her father that she was gone.

"Sergeant, movement!" Jenkins called from ahead, DMR already up and aimed at the far door. It was only a second later that every other weapon was copying him. "Looks like a single target; FoF tag is disabled."

"Hold yer fire 'til we know for sure what we're dealing with," Johnson growled, moving up to stand beside the man he'd served with since Harvest. "Spread out, Marines! Don't make it easy for the enemy to pick you off." The men obeyed, moving as quick and quiet as they could. For a moment, everything was tensely quiet.

Then the door before them suddenly blew off the tracks, bourn by the force of the explosion behind it. Every marine dodged away from the flying debris, most with cries of surprise or fear. Johnson didn't bother, choosing instead to just drop and drag Jenkins down with him.

Once everything had settled, the Sergeant cautiously looked up. The frame around where the door had been was blackened with soot and badly melted. Whatever had exploded had packed some serious punch. Then he spotted movement and Johnson was instantly up on his knees, DMR at the ready. For a single long second, he prepared to shoot. But when the person finally shuffled into the light, he could only stare in horrified shock.

From the bright red hair and pale skin, he knew he was looking at Captain Kaine Faldon. The tattered ODST uniform was also a good hint, but that wasn't what held his attention. It was the uncoordinated steps, like the officer wasn't entirely sure where she was. It was the way she clutched her left arm, which was hanging awkwardly while the shoulder was clearly dislocated. It was the streaks of blood that was running down her exposed abdomen from a chest wound he couldn't see. It was the other splatters of blood that had clearly not come from her. It was the black lines that resembled veins that covered what he could see of her right arm.

Most of all, it was the completely blank look in those silver eyes. Like she was looking right him, but he wasn't what she was seeing at all.

"Captain Faldon?" Johnson called cautiously, lowering his weapon and slowly getting to his feet. He could hear his men around the area doing the same, each one moving with the same careful actions. There was something dangerous about the woman before her. Despite all the stories he'd heard of her exploits, the Marine had never expected to feel unsafe in her presence, especially after the one time they'd met. Clearly, he'd been wrong. "Captain, can you hear me?"

It took a few seconds, but Faldon's gaze eventually focused on him, though her eyes were still clouded. "U...N...SC..." she said, each letter a clear struggle to form and say. At least she recognized them.

"I'm Sergeant Johnson," the leader said, taking a small step forward. When that produced no reaction, he took another. "My squad and I were sent to rescue you." With a painful awkwardness that screamed of pain and stiffness, the redhead looked around the room, gaze still mostly blank. "Captain, what happened to you?" She focused on him again but remained silent. Taking a risk, he raised a hand, intending to offer it for her to grab so he could lead her out.

Next thing he knew, Johnson was pinned against a wall, Faldon's arm across his neck. There were shouts of surprise from his marines, but his focus was on the ODST. Despite her actions, her eyes were no clearer; he wasn't sure she knew what she was doing. However, there was a power behind her actions that frightened him. In her condition, she should not be strong enough to hold him up a wall. Further, how had she moved so fast? But he could deal with those questions later, preferably when his life wasn't being threatened. "Captain," he gasped, barely able to breathe. "It's alright. We're not going to hurt you."

"Heard that...before," the redhead said, her voice dull and dead. There was no emotion in anything she did, and Johnson thought he was starting to understand. Whatever had happened to her, she wasn't really aware of anything now. All she could do was identify between safe and unsafe. Somehow, his actions had threatened her. Maybe he could change that.

Forcing himself to relax, the Sergeant allowed her to support all his weight, bringing his hands down to hang limply at his sides. Though she said nothing, Faldon tilted her head slightly. It wasn't fully the reaction he'd been hoping for, but at least she was comprehending a change in him. "I'm not an Insurrectionist," he forced out, trying to sound even. "My squad and I came to rescue you." Waiting tensely, his vision was just starting to go dark when she released him, stepping back and away as fast as when she'd attacked. Through sheer force of will, Johnson managed to not collapse, though he did have to lock his knees.

"You're...late," the ODST deadpanned, right arm coming back up to hold the left close to her body. Nodding, the Marine slowly rose back to his feet. Those silver eyes looked no different than they did less than a minute before, so he made a show of laying down his gun and stripping himself of all visible weapons before very carefully offering his hand again, palm up and empty. For several long seconds, there was no reaction, but then the female released her injured arm and, just as slowly as the Sergeant, gently took his hand.

"We're gonna get you outta here, okay, ma'am?" he asked, keeping his voice soothing. She didn't even twitch, giving no indication if she'd understood at all. Cautiously, Johnson took a step toward the exit, and she echoed with a single step of her own. Keeping a very careful pace, the Marine started walking, while Faldon copied his every move. Somewhere behind them, he could hear his squad gather his weapons and start following, but they kept a careful distance, not wanting to spook the redhead again.

The trip through the Insurrectionist base was long and tense, with every sound causing minute flinches from the injured ODST. Her gaze never cleared, and Johnson heard her mutter under her breath often, though he could never tell what she said. At one point, she looked right at him and he wondered if she'd finally become aware, but then she called him 'Takoda' and he knew she wasn't. By the time the small group reached the Pelican waiting for the extraction, she could barely move her legs, having given up on actually picking up her feet long ago. She balked when the Sergeant tried to lead her up the ramp, a flash of fear finally appearing on her face. "It's alright, ma'am. This is how we're getting back to the _Excalibur_."

"Explosion," she muttered, the haze in her eyes growing for a second before she appeared to claw her way back.

"It's not going to explode," Johnson promised, wondering just what the hell had happened to her. There was no doubt in his mind that she'd been drugged, but he couldn't figure out with what. Last he'd heard, the Insurrectionist's had started using a new and powerful truth-serum, but the reports he'd read hadn't mentioned the drugged victims acting like this. Maybe she'd received an experimental drug instead?

The redhead didn't look convinced of his words, though it was hard to tell as her face was back to being blank, but when he gently pulled in the direction of the ramp again, she came willingly. With halting steps, she followed him into the main holding bay, not complaining when he led her to a seat and carefully guided her to sit down. Keeping her attention, what little of it there was, on him, Johnson started strapping her in, making sure that she could see every move he made while his men snuck aboard and settled in the seats as far from her as possible. He wasn't sure how much of his actions she was actually understanding, but she made no aggressive moves, so he assumed she was still trusting him.

Once she was secure, the Sergeant subtly signaled for the pilot to take off. The moment the engines started, Faldon went rigid, cloudy eyes opening wide while her pupils contracted to the point that they almost disappeared. Fearing a violent reaction, Johnson nearly shot backward, but then he recognized the signs of panic and he switched tactics. "You're safe, Captain," he said soothingly, forcing a smile. "I've flown in this old bird so often I sometimes forget that I wasn't born here. She's never let me down, and she ain't gonna start now." There was no response, but the redhead also stayed where she was. "We're gonna get you back home, ma'am. Already let Commander Faldon know you're on your way."

"Er...ic?" For the first time, there was the faintest glimmer of recognition in her eyes, so the Marine pounced on it.

"That's right, Eric. He's been worried sick about ya, ma'am. Been cursing out command for not coming sooner; said he was gonna promote you to Major the second you got back to ensure you'll be a higher rescue priority from now on. He woulda come himself, but command forbid it, so he's been organizing your rescue instead. Flew us all out here and loaned us this dropship to come get you home." Yes, that bit of information invalidated his claims about riding in that Pelican a lot, but he assumed she was too out of it to notice.

"Lillian?" Faldon asked, slight muscle movement in the face that could have been a tiny frown. However, it was not a name Johnson knew and he was worried that talking about someone that was a stranger to him would backfire, so he kept silent. That apparently meant something to her, though, as she looked away from him, gaze going soft again.

"Is everything alright, Sergeant?" a voice said from the cockpit as the pilot finally stepped out. The officer's gaze flicked in his direction, but she must have assumed he was harmless because she didn't otherwise move. For a moment, the pilot simply stared at the ODST, a strange expression on his face, until he visible shook off his thoughts and focused back on Johnson. "I've alerted the Commander; he is standing by with medical personnel at the ready. Anything else he should know?"

"She seems to be under some sort of drug," the Sergeant replied, keeping a careful eye on the soldier. He didn't care that she was bound, because the strength she'd used to slam him into a wall was more then enough to snap those bindings like they were thin pieces of thread. "If I was to guess, I'd say she's not thinking beyond 'threat' and 'safe' right now. And her adrenaline must be through the roof because if she thinks you're a threat, she'll take you out in a heartbeat."

"I'll pass the information on," the pilot said simply, turning to reenter the cockpit.

"Thanks for flying us out," Johnson called, making the older man pause. "Not sure why ONI was so damn determined to keep us in the dark but...it's worth it now. She's alive. So thanks." For a long moment, there was no response. And then the older man shrugged, looking away in an attempt to put some emotional distance between them.

"I know what it's like to lose a daughter," he said quietly. "I've lost two. Couldn't let Eric go through that hell if I had the chance to prevent it. He looked after my youngest, once. Only fair I look after his. Call me if you need me, Sergeant."

"Will do, Chief Mendez." The NCO didn't look away from the officer as he spoke, so he noticed a tiny flinch at the name, but didn't draw attention to it. Poor woman was flinching at shadows, and if there was a tiny part of his mind that insisted this flinch was different, he disregarded it. Instead, he decided to try talking again. Even if she couldn't fully focus, the act of thinking and speaking seemed to keep her mostly calm. Probably because she didn't have the mental ability to multitask just then. "What did they want from you, Captain?" the Marine asked, trying to keep her engaged in conversation. She didn't reply, but her eyes did flick back towards him. "The Innies, ma'am. What did they want from you?"

"The truth." A strange way to say 'information', but the entire situation was weird, so the Sergeant let it slide.

"And did you give it to them?" He didn't really care about the answer; not when she was so clearly unaware of what was happening and what she was saying. But hey, at least she was answering. That was good, right?"

"No."

"Why not?" Johnson hadn't meant for the question to do anything, but he flinched back when her eyes suddenly cleared for a fraction of a second and her body went tense. It wasn't like when she'd reacted in fear to the engines. Every line, every inch, was filled with rage and anger. In that one instant, he felt like he wasn't looking into the face of a human. There was a darkness there; an ancient danger that would destroy everything in its way. No matter what she looked like, in that moment, she was a demon. Then the haze came back and she slumped, but there was still a steel to her words as she whispered her answer.

"Because they showed me the Truth, but it was a Lie."

* * *

 _Babble time: This chapter will be put into the chronologicaly correct place when it's not midnight and I'm exhausted._


	9. The Dance

**The Dance**

Time: 0900\

October 15, 2536\

Aboard the UNSC _Excalibur_

"Alright, listen up!" Colonel Sanders yelled, cutting through the quiet chatter of the assembled officers. "You all know why you're here, but those damn regulations force me to spell it out for you regardless. In accordance to UNSC Special Order RS-1058, all ODST officers are to undergo a series of classes designed to increase their knowledge of survival skills. These classes will be spread out over the course of three months and will cover everything from how to build shelters to how to design and wear camouflage. As far as I'm concerned, if you don't already know these things, there's no hope for you. But rules are rules, so take the packet you were given as you walked in and get your asses to your first class."

Subduing the urge to roll her eyes, Captain Kaine Faldon grabbed her packet and got back to her feet, noting that most of the officers around her were doing the same. However, her attention was stolen by O'Brien as he trotted over to her. It was still a bit strange, seeing the Lieutenant bar on his uniform, but it also filled her with a strange sense of pride.

When she'd given him Cal's dog tag and told him the truth about herself, she hadn't expected him to become such a close friend. Truthfully, she'd put up a heavy resistance in the beginning. Whether it was a remnant from Spartan training or something deeper, she didn't know and she didn't care, but she didn't want to let him in. Her heart, her mind, was reserved for her siblings and he would never be that. But it turned out that the smaller redhead had a stubborn streak that matched her own, and he never gave up on her. By the time she realized she'd didn't want to get rid of him anymore, he was firmly entrenched in her life. After so many years, she wasn't bitter anymore. She wasn't designed to be completely solo, though she needed less support than most Spartans. With just Eric, she'd been struggling. Now, she finally felt balanced.

"Enjoying your promotion?" she asked the shorter redhead when he finally reached her. Rather than letting him stop, she turned and started walking out of the room, allowing the man to fall into step beside. "The hazing isn't too bad, I hope."

"Nothing I can't handle," he replied with a shrug, though the look in his eyes promised pain for the next idiot to bring him a frivolous problem. "It's strange being a Platoon Leader, though. Oh, and thank you for assigning me to Platoon Four."

"I had a feeling you'd do well there," she admitted, smiling gently as they moved through the halls. "So, what survival class do you have first?"

"Infiltration and Concealment," the smaller officer answered. "If it's anything like the Naval Academy class, it'll be a piece of cake. You?"

"Same," she admitted with a small laugh. "I'm actually interested in how the skill is taught to the majority of the military." Because she was positive the Spartan way was not considered normal, but she wasn't about to admit that. Too many uninformed ears.

"That's right, you would have had special training," O'Brien said, eyes widening with a just a hint of excitement dancing in their depths. "What was it like?" Faldon was saved from having to answer for a short moment as they reached their assigned classroom and entered, choosing seats near the front. Honestly, she didn't want to tell the obviously eager ODST, but she could nearly feel him vibrating beside her. If there was one trait that matched his stubbornness, it was his curiosity. One of these days it would come back to bite him in the ass, but until then she'd have to deal with it.

"It was probably the most laid back training we received," she finally huffed when they were settled in their seats. The teacher had not yet arrived and there were still other officers filtering, but she kept her voice pitched low anyway. Nearly every ODST knew there was something about her; an edge that shouldn't exist but was somehow natural. That didn't mean she needed to broadcast it. "No yelling instructors, no live ammunition going off nearby. We didn't really like it though; I guess after a while we got used to the chaos and didn't like functioning without it." That was an understatement, but as much as she could give with more ODST coming in every minute.

"Well then, this should be pretty similar," O'Brien said wryly, a crooked smile on his face as the teacher walked in at last. Kaine had her doubts about that, though she kept her opinion to herself. No matter how the class was designed, it would be nothing compared to what the Spartan trainers had come up with. It was equal parts the most embarrassing and the most wonderful memory she had.

* * *

Time: 0300/

April 03, 2524/

Reach

" _Rise and shine, trainees!" Mendez barked, striding into the barracks with aconfident_ _swagger. It didn't surprise him at all to find the young teenagers already standing at attention, ready for whatever he was going to throw at them that day. At least, they thought they were ready. "Today's mission is extensive and time-consuming, so stop wasting daylight and get your asses in the dropship." No one moved, making him smile grimly. Yes, they had trained the children well. "Move out!" Three seconds later, the barracks were abandoned. Idly wondering if his young soldiers were ready for what he was about to ask of them, the Chief followed._

 _A small part of his mind was expecting to find the trainees just outside their barracks, confused by the dropship that was literally parked right outside. Such a thing had never been done before; it was an established part of training that they had to travel great distances to get to their transports, so to have 'curbside_ _pickup' was disturbing. However, the area was clear and he could see the last of the teenagers strapping into their seats, so he casually walked up the ramp and to the cockpit._

 _Glancing to the two seats closest to the front of the ship, Mendez fought a smile, knowing it would likely frighten the group of teens. 113 and 117 always chose the same seats, right beside the cockpit, wanting to be the first to know if anything went wrong. It had gotten to the point that he considered assigning them the seats officially. "Listen up, trainees!" he bellowed, noticing that none of them jumped, though he did startle a couple marines outside. "Today's mission is...unusual." Ah, there were the expressions of uneasy that he was expecting. The Instructor shifted his weight as the dropship lifted off the ground, taking them to their destination. "ONI wants to know how well you can blend into civilian settings. To that end, today's mission is a simple one. You will attend a civilian event and attempt to remain unidentified by the ONI agents that will also be at the event in disguise. Any trainee that goes four hours without being identified will be considered successful in this mission. Are there any questions?" Despite the phrasing, he wouldn't be offering any more information, and every trainee knew it. They watched him impassively, any misgivings they might have felt hidden behind blank masks. Perhaps they had been trained too well. "We touch down in thirty minutes. Prepare yourself." With his piece spoken, he turned and stepped into the cockpit, knowing they would need some time to themselves._

" _Wonder what the mission is," Zach yawned, leaning back into his seat the moment Mendez was out of sight. "And didn't we already complete our espionage training? Why are they throwing us back in?"_

 _'It's ONI,' Klare signed, knowing her siblings would all look the moment they saw her hands moving. 'They don't need a reason to check things a million times. I'm more concerned about what the test will entail. Whoever ordered a repeat in the test probably wants us to fail.'_

" _Our mysterious enemy?" Kelly asked, leaning over John to look directly at the redhead. "Could they be behind this?" 113 could only shrug. She was still irritated that it had taken a little over five years for the others to believe her that there was someone that was trying to kill them, but she refused to look a gift horse in the mouth. However, it did mean that they'd started flinching at shadows. Not exactly what she'd had in mind._

 _The trainees continued to talk quietly for a few minutes, using the rare time of solitude to let their guard down and just be together. Those times didn't come very often. Linda and Naomi were arguing about sniper rifles and scopes, Sam and Zach were complaining about how the new cook couldn't get the grilled cheese right, Kelly was quietly berating Jai and Ariadne for the prank they'd pulled on Mark, and Fred and Cal were actively debating when John would finally snap and admit that he was in love with Klare._

 _Comparatively, 113 and 117 were perfectly silent. That was normal for the redhead, but John's silence was a bit more unexpected. He was usually talking strategy with Sam at the least, if not checking in on each of his siblings. To watch him sit still, not even bothering to look out the window, gave every teen a sense that the things weren't all right with the world anymore._

" _Time to disembark, kiddies," Mendez barked, stepping back into the main bay, noting that they were all waiting patiently, as still and formal as when he'd left. He knew they talked when left in private, but he could never catch them in the act. If only they rest of the UNSC was as good at covering their actions. "117, 113, you drop first. Everyone else, form teams and prepare to jump." They all hurried to obey, ready to move before he'd managed to reach the aft hatch to open it. In a normal company, he'd be impressed. With these children that had been forced into weapons whether they knew it or not, all he felt was an abstract hatred, at himself and everyone else involved with this atrocity. "The light is green, trainees. Assemble at the flag." Hitting the release button, he felt the bay depressurize with a light explosion, forcing him to rise onto his toes. None of his soldiers so much as twitched. "Go!"_

 _His mouth hadn't finished closing before the two leaders were out and falling. The NCO did take a moment to look down, even knowing he wouldn't be able to see them. They'd better hurry up and admit they liked each other soon, or he just might lose his patience and lock them in a closet until they decided to be honest about their feelings. Then the rest of the trainees were moving, jumping without a hint of hesitation or concern, despite the distance they had to fall. In all of the UNSC, there was no group that better embodied the idea of, "I say jump, you say 'How high?'" Though the statement wasn't exactly accurate. His students never bothered asking anything as useless as 'how high'._

 _On the ground, John was waiting for the last of his team to land, shifting his weight as the only sign that he wasn't perfectly at ease as his eyes scanned the surrounding trees. He'd sent Klare ahead to scout the area and she hadn't whistled in like she was supposed to. Logically, he knew there was nothing to worry about. If anything had happened, she would have alerted them, so she was probably simply taking her time. Either that, or she was feeling unusually playful and was planning to ambush him. In some ways, he was hoping for the former._

 _Once every teen was on the ground, they formed up and started towards the flag that could barely be seen through the woods. They weren't sure what would be waiting for them, but they were relatively confident_ _that the test hadn't started. There weren't any civilians around. "Hey, where's Klare?" Luna asked, trotting closer to their leader as they reached the flag. John was about to answer when a black form fell from the tree he'd just walked past, landing perfectly on his back._

 _Testament to all their years of training, the brunette didn't throw his attacker, but it was a damn near thing. "You're gonna be the death of me," he muttered instead, glancing over his shoulder to glare at the smiling Klare. "Get down." She shook her head, legs wrapped tight around his waist while her arms gave a gentle squeeze. He tried to be mad at her, but the warmth in his chest and the smile on his face refused to go away. The others were giving him amused glances, but no one said anything when he quit arguing and carried his friend the rest of the way to the flag. By the time Mendez and the other Instructors arrived, every teen was in formation, standing at ease and faces blank. They weren't fooling any of the adults, but there wasn't any reason to lecture them over something they weren't caught doing._

" _Alright trainees, it's a long run to the mission location, so get moving." The children started running right away, shifting easily into their travel formation. Though the adults were taking the journey at an outright run, their charges were moving at a gentle lope; one meant to eat up the distance with minimal energy used. It was always fun, watching the Instructors argue over who had taught the soldiers that gait, when they'd actually learned it by themselves._

" _113," Mendez greeted as he fell into place beside her, noting the quick glance she gave him, as well as the slight upturn in the corners of her mouth. All the trainees were masters at hiding their emotions, but the redhead was usually completely unreadable. That she was being that open with him was a bit of a surprise. "When this mission concludes, you will be attending a second mission. Your ODSTs need you to save them again." That got a full blown smile, nearly making the Chief stumble. "Alright, trainee, what got you in such a good mood?" A shake of the head; he really should have expected that. He would have pressed, but he'd spent too long beside her so he drifted off, running up and down the formation to keep everyone on their toes._

 _Eventually, the forest gave way to open spaces, which turned into a city. No one was out, allowing the soldiers to move through easily. When Mendez called for a halt beside a building that was clearly a school, though, he saw the first stirrings of unease travel through the teenagers. He kept his focus on 117 and 113, knowing the others would follow them in their reactions, but their faces remained carefully blank. "Inside, trainees!" an Instructor called, and they all trotted through the open doors without hesitation. However, every adult noted that they went no further into the building than they absolutely had to._

" _This way, trainees," Mendez called, trotting through the empty halls. The steady beat of the boots behind him was almost comforting, if one ignored the building they were in. Perhaps it was simply a side-effect of the war, but the Chief didn't like the idea of soldiers in schools very much. Regardless, as he glanced back he realized that this was the exact building his charges should be going to every day. Just the thought made something tighten in his chest, so he quickly shook it away. Leading the group into the auditorium, he noticed that the collapsable walls were in place and the supplies were near the back wall, hidden from view. Perfect. "Form up!" he barked, turning around and unsurprised to find they were already in position and waiting on him. "Look around, trainees. This will be your home for the next seventeen hours. The event you will be attending...is prom." Ah, there were the looks of horror he'd been waiting for. 113 looked like she was going to bolt...actually, all of the female teenagers looked like that. "In this war, you might have to infiltrate a formal ball, or a country festival, or a high school reunion. You can't rely on your military training to get you out of every situation. So today, you will learn to be civilians. Everything you could need to prepare for prom has been provided; make appropriate choices in clothing and accessories. Males on the left, females on the right. There will be no crossing sides and no leaving this room. When that door closes, it will not open again until the event. Move!" It was more likely a trained reaction to that word and tone that got them moving, rather than actual comprehension of what he'd ordered. Every teen looked thoroughly shell shocked._

 _Whether by conscious choice or simply habit, the females fell in behind Klare as she trotted into the section on the right. They looked about warily, some visibly recoiling from certain objects. Eventually, the redhead stood in the center of the area, turning slowly to take everything in. Her sisters watched her warily, knowing the slight crease between her eyes was not a good sign. The longer she stood and glared, the more worried they became. When she finally, picked up one of the shoes and hurled it at the door the Instructors had exited, no one was surprised when the heel actually drove into the wood and stuck._

 _It was a slow day for all of the teenagers. While the boys struggled to learn how to put on suits and correctly knot ties, the girls were confronted with dresses they couldn't untangle. Eventually, Klare started to delegate her sisters to different tasks, such as learning to apply makeup_ _or 'matching' jewelry to dresses in an attempt to not overburden any one teen. It was still slow going, just as the Instructors had known it would be. Around noon, the redhead couldn't stand it anymore and leapt on top of thecollapsible_ _wall to see the boys. The screams the sight of her inspired left her laughing so hard she nearly fell back off._

" _We're not supposed to cross the wall!" John yelled, a scowl on his face and a jacket conveniently covering his groin. Rolling her eyes, the female gave him a flat look before letting her gaze obviously flick downwards, cackling as his hands went to cover the area. Like she hadn't seen him naked every day of their life since their capture. Hell, the showers were still communal! But she supposed it was part of acting like civilians, so she deliberately looked up at the ceiling, though she couldn't erase the smile on her face. "What do you want, Klare?"_

 _'Needed to remind myself that not everything in the world is covered in sequins and rhinestones,' she signed back, gaze still upwards. 'How are you all doing?'_

" _All things considered, I'd rather be covered in mud and leaves. Fred is sobbing in a nest of ties, Zach has taken scissors to every suit we're not using, and Sam was eaten by a mutant rose corsage thing. Your side doing any better?"_

 _'Well, we've got dresses that barely cover anything, shoes no one can walk in, make-up that no one understands, and we're all suffocating from overuse of glitter. However, we have discovered several new ways to use jewelry as weapons.'_

" _Girls have all the fun," James muttered as he stomped by, pulling his jacket off angrily. "John, we have to talk to the Instructors; these suits are too small! They keep ripping when we move."_

" _Alright, I'll go get them," the brunette sighed, glancing back up at his sister to see her smiling at the ceiling. "You're gonna have to get down, Klare...and stop pouting at me!" Laughter answered him from both sides of the wall, but the redhead finally gave him a real smile and waved goodbye before dropping back onto her side. And if John stared at the spot she had been for a couple minutes after she vanished, none of the males mentioned it._

 _Time: 2050\_

 _April 03, 2524\_

 _Reach_

 _Without warning, the doors opened and Mendez strode in, dressed in the uniform of the dance chaperones. A part of him expected his teenagers to be standing in formation, dressed like high schoolers, but unable to shake the soldier that had been beaten into them. It therefore took a moment for him to realize that he couldn't see a single one of his charges. When he went to check on the female side, he found 113 waiting, though he could barely recognize her. Someone had spiked her red hair in a way that looked stylish. There was no visible makeup_ _on her face, though she didn't need any. Her bright green eyes and glowing skin were more than enough. What caught his attention was the dress she had chosen. Every piece of clothing and accessory had been chosen to go with the dance's theme, but he hadn't expected the fashion-challenged teens to put together an outfit that perfectly captured the idea. Her dress was an icy shade of blue, complemented_ _by the white heels on her feet and the diamond snowflake necklace. When she shifted, everything shimmered, just like a piece of ice. The outfit turned her into something cold and beautiful. Without the glare, he might never had realized who she was._

" _Are your females ready, 113?" he asked, noting the way the corners of her mouth twitched down. Surely he didn't deserve this level of anger simply for forcing them in dresses! Still, she signaled an affirmative so he moved to the other side to find 117. The male was dressed in a pitch black suit, though his tie was a perfect match in color to 113's dress. It had to be coincidence as the trainees had been unable to see each other while changing, but it was still quite amusing._

 _Idly wondering if the pair knew they were holding their bodies identically, despite not being able to see each other, Mendez inquired if the males were ready and received another affirmation, so the he returned to the open part of the auditorium and barked, "Fall in!" He was used to the teenagers rushing in at such a command, and the males reacted as they always had, but the females came much slower. It took a few seconds to realize that they had no choice but to move slower with the dresses and shoes they'd been provided. With that in mind, he patiently waited for them to find their places before continuing, "The dance begins in five minutes. You will not enter in a large group; that would give everything away. The ONI agents that are here to attempt to pick you out are confined to the gym where the dance it taking place; you will therefore be allowed out in small units to go directly to the gym. Remember, the moment you're in view of the dance area, your test begins. Form your teams; Instructor Grant will summon you when it's time." Not giving them time to react, he spun on his heel and left, the door slamming shut behind him._

 _If he'd stayed a few seconds more, he might have had serious doubts about how the night would proceed. Ever since their first day together, the seventy-five children had been perfectly comfortable around each other, but for the first time they were edging apart. Males and females eyed the opposite group with discomfort and hesitation, no longer sure how to treat these people that looked so familiar and yet so different. When there was a light knock on the door, no one had moved._

 _John was the first to step forward, barely managing to hide the awkwardness he was feeling, and he offered a hand to Klare. For the longest second any of them had ever experienced, she just stared at him, but then she gently took his hand and allowed him to pull her away. Though it was obvious they were both uncomfortable, they opened the door and slid through, leaving their siblings to sort themselves out. Instructor Grant pointed them in the direction they needed to go and the pair started through the halls. Everything was deathly silent, though the hum of voices ahead of them assured them they were going in the right direction. "Are you ready for this?" the brunette asked quietly, giving a weak smile when the redhead shook her head. "Me neither. But we're gonna win this game." She_ _glanced at him, a slight crinkle in the corners of her eyes to indicate had amusement. "By the way, how are you walking in those?"_

 _'Painfully,' she signed as she laughed. They quietly bantered as they walked down the last hall, reaching the gym at the same time some actual high schoolers did. Allowing the civilians to go first, the pair slid into the large room and looked around. The decorations were all themed after the idea of an eternal winter, with fake ice and blue roses scattered everywhere. There were already several students in attendance, scattered in small groups for chatting or dancing. When Klare realized that many girls had already removed their shoes, she hastened to do the same, ignoring when John laughed at her. He shut up when she waved a heel at him dangerously, but the laughter in his eyes remained._

 _Not wanting to stand out, the pair started drifting, looking at everything and chatting with anyone that stopped to talk. Well, John chatted. He explained that his date had lost her voice when she was a child and Klare was plied with sympathies and compliments about how amazing she was even without a voice. If the civilians could understand her sign language, they'd learn very quickly that she was not amused with where they thought her value lay._

 _'If one more person says someone with my looks doesn't need a voice, I'm gonna massacre everyone here,' she signed as she laughed with a blonde girl by the punch bowl. John could only hide his grin behind the glass he held as the blonde's date regaled him with stories about the school's football team. Hidden in the shadows as they were, he allowed himself to glance around the gym, noting the sheer amount of humanity. Other students had already assured him that the school was famous for its dances and people from other schools would come every time, but he hadn't expected so many teenagers. He'd only managed to catch sight of his Spartans a handful of times, though they seemed to be managing. No one had punched a hole in a wall or started up a military debate, at least. There was a slight concern over whatever Fred had managed to get into as he was still unaccounted for, but it was too risky to seek the boy out._

" _Your date is amazing," one of the high schoolers said suddenly, snapping John back into the moment. A smile was instantly on his face and he was opening his mouth to agree when he caught sight of Klare and everything seemed to stop. She was in the middle of a laugh, brushing a strand of hair back from her face, and it was so_ wrong _that he couldn't breathe. Everyone was telling him how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to have her, but...none of them saw_ her _. They didn't know how her eyes would light up when she got excited, or about how she'd stick her tongue out when she was concentrating. They'd never seen her covered in mud and blood and smiling that little smile that meant she was happy with her performance. They had no clue that she made noises in her sleep or that she was a class-A sleep cuddler in the field that was also part heat-seeking octopus. They couldn't understand why he loved her..._

 _...he loved her._

 _WHAT THE HELL?!_

" _Hey man, you okay?" the civilian asked as John actually_ flinched _, spilling his drink. Before he could answer, Klare was there, that worried tilt of her mouth telling him that he needed to talk fast to get out of her dragging him to Mendez, but he couldn't say anything. It was like all the breath had rushed out of him and he couldn't get any air back. For a moment he thought he would pass out, and then she grabbed his arm and he felt the strength in her grip. Somehow, knowing that she was the same Klare that routinely threw him during training helped him focus and he was finally able to take a gasping breath. The redhead didn't let go of him, but she also didn't drag him anywhere as he struggled to get everything back under control._

" _Here, maybe this will help," the blonde girl said, offering the brunette soldier a glass of cold water. He took it with a grateful noise and sipped it carefully, trying to control the tremors in his hands. "Panic attack?" she asked kindly, giving him a soft smile. "It's okay; I get them every time someone tells me to talk to a group bigger than four people. Do you need to sit down?"_

" _No," he finally managed to croak, scraping together a smile for her. "I'm alright now, thank you." Klare was clearly not convinced, but she smiled in agreement when the other couple looked at her. Without a sound, she gently pulled John with her as she waved goodbye, heading in the general direction of the tables. Choosing not to complain that he'd just said he_ didn't _need to sit down, the male followed silently. Sometimes, it was better to let her do as she wanted. Less painful that way, at least._

 _By the time they'd reached the resting area, the brunette was back to normal, so they moved on without stopping. The crowd in the dance area was starting to thin as couple got tired, so John decided to continue the deception by pulling Klare out. It was a miracle her glare didn't kill him for that stunt. If it hadn't been for all the witnesses, he probably would have been brutally murdered. As it was, she had to give him that thin smile and allow him to maneuver them into the middle of the throng. Just as they reached the spot he wanted, a slow song came on and all the other couples shifted closer to each other. Besides the dangerous creak in his hand as she squeezed, his redhead offered no complaint when he tugged her close, but he still made sure to keep his hand very carefully positioned on her waist. After all, she had a damn long memory and would never hesitate the make him regret this someday._

 _Despite not knowing how to dance, the pair quickly picked up enough from the surrounding partners to move easily with the song. With the moving lights and people, no one could tell that they were scanning the area, picking out their siblings and the chaperones that were obviously ONI. Klare even snickered at one agent that was so intent on following a civilian pair that he tripped over a chair and fell onto a table...which broke with a loud crash. "I'm guessing he's new to field work," John joked, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. The redhead simply nodded, a look of fondness on her face. "Think his commander is gonna let this go without comment?" A laugh and strong shake of the head. "Yeah, I didn't either."_

 _As the song ended and another slow one began, Klare gave a little sigh and leaned against John, laying her head on his shoulder. His movement to the music never changed, but his brain momentarily stalled before kicking into overdrive. For a long moment he wondered what she was thinking and if she was simply acting, but then she gave a little huff he was very familiar with and he smiled. "Tired?" She nodded. "How? The only thing you've fought all day is fabric." Another huff, slightly irritated. "Alright, alright, when this song is done we'll go sit down. Deal?" A happy sigh. "Have I ever told you that you're adorable when you're sleepy?" She actually pulled back to glare at him for that one, making him chuckle._

 _As the song started to wind down, John noticed an agent watching them. The man was frowning, like he couldn't decide if they were soldiers or not. Knowing he needed to act fast to keep their covers, the brunette's mind raced in an attempt to create a plan. The only thing he could think of had a high possibility of getting him murdered, but hopefully it would be enough. So, acting quickly, he looked down at Klare and said, "Hey." And when she looked up, he leaned down and kissed her. Though most of his mind went offline, again, when their lips touched, a small part noticed how she instantly stiffened before fake relaxing. At least she trusted him enough to not rip his head off right then. It was still a couple seconds before he pulled back, both teens uncomfortably aware of where they were and what they'd just done. Glancing at the agent, the brunette saw that the man was smiling fondly and looking away, so they were still in the game. That didn't help him figure out what to do with his very confused sister, though. "We should...get a table," he mumbled, pulling her off the dance floor, unable to look at her face._

 _Was it possible to will a hole to open right under his feet?_

 _The ease that had been between them was gone, and John worried about it. Acting different on a mission like this would be worse than waving a flag and screaming who they actually were. But...what else could he have done? He couldn't let ONI catch them._

 _A frustrated sigh made the brunette glance over to his sister. He hadn't noticed when they'd sat down, but now she was leaning on the table and giving him a very flat look. There were too many people around for her to sign to him, but he was always good at reading her expressions. Currently, she was calling him an idiot. For the kiss or for overreacting, he wasn't sure. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, then winced when she kicked his leg. "How do you kick that hard with bare feet?" Ah, there it was, that smile that made him feel like he was free. When it shifted to be playfully mischievous, he couldn't help but smile back. "Come on, we should mingle some more." Rolling her eyes, Klare got back to her feet, looking around the dance. For a moment John had a moment where he could see her as an officer, leading soldiers into battle. It was something they were all being prepared for, but this female...there was something about her. He was proud of it._

 _She must have gotten impatient, because she suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the table, weaving through the crowds easily. Her destination proved to be a small group of civilians that were setting up a game of couples tag. The rules were easy; the girls each had a ribbon loosely tied to their upper arm and their boy had to try to get the ribbon. John was worried that the game would give away his and Klare's abilities, but soon realized it was easy to restrain himself with her. It was the first time he felt like he was actually having fun...even though his redhead kept slipping away at the last moment._

" _You cheated," the brunette huffed as they were declared the last couple standing, though he couldn't wipe the smile off his face as she beamed at him. "But damn, I love you." The moment the words fell from his lips, he wanted to take them back. Her eyes went wide and she froze for a bare second, but then her eyes flicked over his shoulder. She must have seen something, because she suddenly relaxed in a way he knew to be fake. When her eyes met his again, she mouthed four words, just as the music swelled to cover the fact that she actually hadn't said anything. That didn't mean he didn't understand._

 _'I love you, too.'_

 _Smiling, John pulled her into a hug, barely covering a flinch as her lips met his yet again. Spinning her around as she pulled back and settled into the hug, he noticed the ONI agent that had been standing behind him, watching them. A different one than before, but this one was also looking away, suspicions assuaged. Looked like she'd saved him as much as he'd saved her. He resolutely ignored the ache in his chest when he realized that she was just acting; it was an infiltration test, of course she was acting! So was he...or at least he was supposed to be._

 _The DJ announced that he was playing the last song, signaling the end of the dance. Civilian teenagers started drifting away in groups, while the Spartans milled around to enjoy the last of the music. Sam, Kelly, and Zach joined John and Klare in a dark corner and watched as one of the ONI agents approached Mendez. They waited tensely as their Chief was handed a list and he looked over it. After a long moment, he gave a crooked smile and said something that made the agent very upset. "Looks like they missed some," Sam smirked, laughing at the wild gestures the ONI officer was making. "Wonder who the lucky ones are."_

" _Not me," Zach shuddered. "I wasn't in here five minutes before I used a fighting style to get through the crowd."_

" _Sam and I got caught by the punch," Kelly chuckled. "Some kid spiked everything with liquor and we were the only two that didn't react. We should probably tell Mendez about that. If we can't detect alcohol in the field, we're going to have a hard time."_

" _I'll make sure to bring it up," John smiled, glancing at Klare in time to see her roll her eyes. His heart still did funny things when he looked at her, though, so he quickly turned back to the arguing adults. A moment later, Mendez scanned the room until his gaze found the brunette. With a crooked smile, he gestured for the Spartan to approach. "I think we're being summoned, Klare. Let's go." He didn't glance back as he started across the gym, but he knew that his redhead fell into step behind him...AND WHY THE HELL DID HE CALL HER 'HIS'?!_

" _Agent Oswell, this is Trainee 113 and Trainee 117, the leaders of the Spartans," Chief Mendez said proudly as the pair stood at easy beside him. "As I said, we have seventy-five Spartans." The ONI agent was staring with so much shock, the brunette honestly wondered why Klare hadn't burst out laughing. If there was one thing she loved, it was confusing agents. "117, 113," they both turned to look straight at him, "gather your Spartans; we leave in ten minutes." Saluting sharply, the teens spun and jogged away, splitting up to gather their siblings. By the time Mendez and the Spartan instructors left the school, their charges were waiting in formation at the back of the school. It was a surreal sight; none of the teens had had a chance to change back into uniform, but they stood in perfect formation as always. "Let's go home, trainees!" Chief barked before starting the jog back to the woods. He kept the pace slower than usual for the females in heels and dresses, but they kept up with no complaint._

 _Despite everything, though, he knew that not all was well. There was a tension between 113 and 117 that he'd never noticed before. They'd been dancing around each other for so long, but now the space between them seemed filled with ice and daggers. All the way to the dropship they refused to even look at each other. However, it wasn't until they were actually on the transport that it became obvious how bad things were. John sat next to the cockpit as always, but Klare sat in the extreme rear of the ship, as far from him as possible. For possibly the first time, the entire trip to the base was silent, and Mendez couldn't help but feel that something was very, very wrong. They'd lost something...and he might never know what._

 _John agreed. But unlike Mendez, he wasn't about to let things slide. He left his sister alone as they reached the base, readied for bed, and settled in for the night. In fact, he waited through two bed checks before silently leaving his bed. Part of him wanted to wait and give her more time, but he knew she'd be gone before first light to complete the ODST mission Mendez had mentioned, so if he didn't do this now, he'd never get the chance. He knew the redhead was awake before he ever reached her, but he still tapped on her bunk as a courtesy. When she opened her eyes to glare at him, he signed for her to meet him on the roof and left before she could respond. Careful to avoid the guards, he quickly scaled the walls and settled onto roof, staring up at the stars. For a moment he was all alone, but then a body flopped down beside him grumpily. "Thanks for coming," he said quietly, glancing at her with a smile. The look she gave him was one of sleepy exasperation, with her hair ruffled and her face relaxed. This...this was the face that he'd fallen in love with. And he had to let her know that, no matter how annoying it was to have his heart in his throat._

" _I really do love you, you know." When she gave him a surprised and slightly disbelieving look, he decided to risk everything. "We're all siblings but, and don't ever tell anyone I said this, you're my favorite. I depend on everyone but...you're special. You keep me sane, and safe. The kiss was to throw the agent off our tail, but I would never have considered kissing anyone else. I'd rather lose."_ That _got something beside a sleepy look of confusion. In fact, she almost looked...happy. "And the 'I love you' was real too. Just wanted you to know." For a moment she didn't respond, but in the end she sighed and shifted to lean against him as she looked up at the stars. Honestly, it was one of the things he loved most about her; how she could communicate without_ _words. It was enough to know he was forgiven. "Can I have another kiss?"_

 _Across the base, Mendez smiled as the sound of a slap and laughter drifted through the night air. He'd worried about his young charges, but now he knew they would be okay, so long as they had each other. Now he just had to make sure they stayed together, and really, that wouldn't be hard. If anyone would make it through the trials ahead, it was those two. He was sure of it._

* * *

"I doubt it will be even vaguely similar," Kaine smiled, glancing over at the confused Lieutenant beside her. "Mine was a bit more...hands on." There was no time for further conversation as the teacher finished organizing his papers and started the lecture. She only paid him the slightest attention, trusting Vincent to tell her if she missed anything important. In truth, her mind was still trapped in the past, thinking about the damn kiss. They'd all known John was dedicated, but she had been expecting the kiss about as much as she'd expected to be kidnapped. She'd debated endlessly if he'd meant it or not. In truth, she hadn't believed in his sincerity until he'd stood before her that one night, saying 'I do'.

It hadn't escaped her notice that she'd basically been the only one surprised. Even Mendez had acted like it was past time they'd kissed. Looking back, it was pretty obvious how she and John had been dancing around their attraction to each other; really, the bigger surprise was that their family had let them go so long without bashing them over the heads for being idiots. They _must_ have been pushing their luck, with how long it had taken.

Sighing quietly, the redhead glanced down at her hand. She was wearing gloves, like always, but she knew what was covered. That thin silver band was so much more than just a ring. Even disregarding the fact that Mendez had given it and his blessing, it was the most important object she owned. It was a testament to perseverance, dedication, stubbornness, and love...from everyone involved. The idea that John no longer wore his hurt, but she'd never surrender hers. She'd spent too many years waiting for it.

But the past was the past and she was tired of wrestling with questions that had no answer, so she decided to tune into the instructor. After all, the class couldn't be all bad, right? "Depending on the mission, it might be required to wear clothing you are not comfortable in. Therefore, for training purposes, you will all be required to wear different costumes for this week of training, including armor, enemy uniforms, and formal wear such as tuxes and dresses in accordance to your gender—Captain Faldon, stop banging your head against the desk this instant!"

* * *

 _Babble Time: This chapter is completely the fault of my roommate. She didn't like when John didn't tell Klare he loved her until Reach so...here we go._


	10. Unbroken

**Unbroken**

Time: 1400\

October 01, 2552\

Earth

" _Your proficiency is 97% today, Commander. Are you feeling well, Commander?_ "

"I am perfectly fine, Catnip," Kaine growled, angrily tossing the ear and eye protection she'd been wearing in the bin. "Everyone is allowed a bad day." The AI didn't respond, though the ODSTs in the area were giving her strange looks. Other soldiers milled about the range without care, but the tension amongst the elite Corps was nearly palpable. Oddly enough, the redhead leader, who happened to be the source of all the unease, was almost painfully aware of how awkward the situation was becoming. Even O'Brien was hesitant to talk to her. In fact, the only person to have an actual conversation with her since the return to Earth was Admiral Hood, and that was its own exercise in torture..."Log my scores and your notes; I'm going home. O'Brien is in command for the rest of the day."

" _Yes, Commander._ " Her ship's AI still looked concerned, but she followed the orders without complaint. " _Will you COM remain active for communication?_ " The soldier wanted to say no, but years of training and decades of living as a soldier prevented it.

"Yes, but use it only in an emergency," she snapped instead as she quickly made her way towards the exit. The sound of gunfire from behind her seemed louder than usual, and it set her on edge, which was stupid. Never before had the sounds of fighting and weapons caused her unease. Even back in training, when she couldn't tell what weapon was being used by the sound alone, it hadn't bothered her so much. But now...the mere sound was enough to make her pulse skyrocket. Her chest was tight, and there was a tremor in her hands that she couldn't stop. A headache was pounding in her skull and everything was too bright and loud. Were she anyone else, she would say she was sick. The truth, of course, was much worse.

She was shutting down.

Her siblings had explained how dangerous 'shut down' could be, and she was realizing just how close she'd come to losing herself. After Eric, Reach, the Flood, and everything after Halo, they'd all known that if she went into 'shut down', she'd never return. Her mind would lock itself away, and eventually her body would cease to function. For a Spartan, there was no worse death. John and Fred had worked with her on the ship, with promises to help her through the dangerous times. However, since their return to Earth, Kaine hadn't so much as seen her siblings. They'd been shuffled off to ONI the moment they'd reached the planet, leaving the redhead to make her report and carry on alone.

It was a battle every day to pull herself out of bed, let alone go through her daily responsibilities and tasks. Her men could see how different she was acting, but no one understood why. Even O'Brien was confused, though he remained supportive, if unusually clingy. She appreciated the gesture, but he was starting to aggravate her.

"Commander Faldon!" Gritting her teeth in frustration, Kaine looked in the direction of the shout, but the irritation vanished when she realized who had called. "Leaving a bit early, aren't you?"

"Not terribly so, Sergeant Johnson," she chuckled, letting the older man fall into step with her. "I've done my set and Catnip will send any reports that I need to be aware of. What about you? I didn't expect to see you down here."

"Couple of my Marines have been getting lazy," the Sergeant cackled around his cigar. "Brought them down here to toughen them back up."

"By having them work on their aim?" the redhead inquired, confused at the choice of punishment. "Isn't that a _standard_ punishment? I was under the impression that you liked to get creative."

"I do," Johnson said proudly, nodding towards one of the larger ranges. Curious, Kaine glanced over and promptly doubled over laughing. It was too far away to see things clearly, but she was willing to bet that those Marines that were running around frantically while their teammates shot stun rounds at them would toughen back up in no time. "What about you, ma'am? I didn't think a Corps Commander needed to come down to the firing ranges anymore."

"Officially, I'm here to prove that I have fully healed and can be taken off of medical leave," she answered easily, stopping at the main exit to surrender her magazines. "Unofficially, I'm here to work out my frustrations in the most violent way the UNSC will allow." Reclaiming the sidearm she'd been forced to surrender upon entering the range, the officer finally stepped through the gate, followed closely by the Marine. "Hey, since when are soldiers forbidden from carrying loaded weapons in the city? They never had these sorts of rules on Reach."

"Earth is paranoid," Johnson said easily, throwing in a shrug for good measure. "This is the UNSC High Command, Commander. Too many officers in one area; makes everybody go a bit crazy. Consider yourself lucky you're an officer, or you wouldn't be allowed to carry a weapon at all."

"Still stupid," she muttered, glaring at nothing as they walked through the streets. "Disarming soldiers is the best way to insure a massacre if the enemy arrives. What are they going to do when Covenant starts falling from the sky?"

"They don't think it will ever happen," the Sergeant sighed. "Even with all of our evidence, they think if they stick their heads in the sand far enough, nothing will happen to them. But hey, they're officers, right?" He laughed as she threw him a look. "Present company excepted, of course."

"Of course," she chuckled. "So how have you been since..." Her voice trailed off, unable to continue the thought. Just thinking about everything after Reach was enough to make her heart stop, and she adamantly refused to think of what had come before. "...since everything?"

"Recovering," he said with a calculating look. "Sorta like you, right, Commander?"

"Is it that obvious?" she huffed, a cruel twist to her lips as she smirked.

"Just a little," he answered dryly. "Why do you think I'm following you home?"

"I was wondering about that," the redhead admitted as the pair finally stepped through the base gates. "Sure you're not my ONI assigned shadow? Because I've already ditched three and I don't really want to have to lose you."

"Oh, so that's why that poor agent was stumbling around lost near the range," Johnson laughed, nearly losing his cigar. "That's mean, Commander." She settled for giving him a flat look. "Well relax; ONI has nothing to do with my being here. I saw a friend and wanted to catch up. That's all." A strange spark passed through the ODST's eyes, but she said nothing in response, choosing to instead watch the road they were walking down. For the next several minutes she was perfectly silent, but then she came to an abrupt stop before a blue house.

"You Marines aren't very good at lying, are you?" she asked, voice calm and almost teasing. "Though I suppose that is ONI's job, so I'll forgive you. Now, how about the real reason you followed me out here?" When the Sergeant didn't say anything, she sighed and jerked her head towards the house. "Would you be more chatty in private?" Rather than wait for an answer, she started up the walk, hearing him fall into step behind her. He remained silent as she unlocked the front door, but dropped his guard enough to whistle as he saw the inside. "Yeah, yeah, rank has its privileges. Coffee?"

"Don't mind if I do." Without looking back, the ODST made her way to the kitchen, leaving the older man alone in the large living room. "Are you honestly telling me that you have an entire house here on Earth when I know for a fact you never come back here?"

"Like I said, rank has its privileges," she called back. "Every officer above a certain rank is assigned a house on or near headquarters. Whether we stay here or not is irrelevant. Before...before Reach it was easier to stop there instead of coming all the way back here. And when I became Commander I was offered a place on base but it's three times the size of this place and I couldn't stand the idea. I'm not too crazy about oversized places." She came back, carrying two mugs with steaming liquid. "Don't burn yourself and don't spill. Otherwise, make yourself at home."

"Thank you kindly." He took the offered cup with a smile and watched as Faldon made a beeline for a small box on the table beside the holo-screen. It didn't surprise him when she opened the case and revealed a stash of ammunition. She'd been subconsciously tapping her unloaded sidearm the entire walk, so it made sense that she'd want to rearm as soon as possible. "I followed you because you haven't been right since we got back to Earth, Commander."

Kaine paused, tensing slightly, before nearly wilting. "So it _is_ that obvious," she muttered, closing the box. "I thought it would be an ODST that would call me on it."

"Your soldiers love you, Commander, and they will follow you to the ends of the galaxy. They'd go to Hell for you. But that love means they don't want to hurt you, especially when you're already hurting." He watched as she turned to look at him, trying to appear unthreatening. Despite the years that had gone by, he remembered just how dangerous she actually was. She could kill him brutally in the time it would take him to blink. However, she didn't _look_ like she was planning his ultimate demise. If nothing else, she looked tired. "Besides...Master Chief asked me to check in on you."

 _That_ got a reaction; a flash of surprise and a faint flicker of a smile. "He did?" Johnson had to stop himself from pulling her into a hug; there was so much pain and hope in those two words. "Is he...still on Earth?"

"He is, though I've heard ONI has him so tied up in secrets he can't even twitch without their say so."

"Sounds right," the redhead snorted, a sharp smile on her face and a world of hatred in her voice. "So he asked you to check on me. Anything in particular?"

"Like I said, Commander, I ain't stupid and I ain't blind," he reminded her gently, slowly making his way to the nearby couch and sitting down. The ODST tracked his every move, but since she was still relaxed he figured he was safe. "There's clearly something between you two, and considering how protective ONI is about what they think is theirs, I figured your relationship was a secret. It's not my place to pry, but the Master Chief did save my hide. He's worried, so I figured I should be too. And from what I've seen...I'd say his concern is valid."

For several minutes, Faldon didn't say anything. In fact, she didn't even look at him. She wandered around the room, straightened a couple photos on the wall, even reorganized a small bookshelf. Johnson didn't press, knowing that her actions were of someone gathering thoughts rather than someone stalling. "My childhood was...abnormal," the redhead finally sighed, still looking away. "I can't go into details but I was in something like a boarding school. We were taught...different techniques to deal with any situation we might encounter. Some were good. Some where bad. One of the worst was a technique called 'shut down'. It was used to help control extreme emotions. The basic idea is that we would control our emotions to the point that we wouldn't feel them anymore. All that would be left behind was logic.

"'Shut down'...is dangerous. We didn't know it back then, and it took a long time to figure out, but the more we stopped our emotions, the harder it was to start them again. Humans need emotions to live, no matter what anyone might say. So when we lost our emotions, we were basically killing ourselves. And 'shut down' is addictive. We became dependent on it. The others have trained themselves out of using the technique but..."

"You couldn't?" he asked quietly as she trailed off.

"I'm sure I could have," she shrugged, slightly distant still. "There just wasn't time and...I didn't want to try so long as I was alone. 'Shut down' was always supposed to end when we were able to work together. So working out of the addiction was a scary process when isolated."

"Understandable," the Marine reluctantly sighed. "So this funk you're in is 'shut down'?"

"Pretty much," the redhead admitted, finally taking a seat across from the man, though she still wasn't looking at him. "Some of it's just the standard grief, since I'm fighting 'shut down' as long as I can. But...yeah, most is 'shut down'."

"Is there anything we can do?" he asked, realizing that she simply wasn't capable of thinking of plans just then. "People we can talk to, doctors we can see, anything."

"My...friends from the school," Kaine answered reluctantly. "If we could find any, which I haven't been able to do. Other than that..." The silence stretched, and she could almost feel the horror settle in around the man. It was the same horror she'd felt when she'd realized just how far into the pit she had fallen. The terror she'd known she should have, except she had passed the point of no return. Really, she was just pushing everything back as much as she could before she fell.

"You've given up," Johnson said quietly, a wealth of hidden emotion in his voice. "You, Commander Kaine Faldon, the Crazy ODST, Soldier With No Fear, Hero of the UNSC...you've given up." Silence. What could she say? He was right. She could only stare at the floor, lost in the feeling of failure and hatred that she'd been drowning in since she'd learned of Eric's death. Distantly, she knew that the Marine had put down the mug she'd given him and stood up, but she lost track of him after that. At least, she did until he was suddenly grabbing her shoulders and forcing her back. Her head snapped up without her permission and she froze, seeing a fire in the man's eyes she'd never seen before.

"Don't. You. Dare," he said firmly, barely above a whisper. Each word was wrapped in steel, punching through the fog of apathy that she'd been floating in. "I get it, Commander. Life isn't easy. You're gonna have some ups and you're gonna have some downs. Most people give up on themselves easily. You know the human spirit is powerful?! There's nothing as powerful; it's _hard_ to kill the human spirit. Anybody can feel good when they have their health, their bills are paid, they have happy relationships, _anybody_ can be positive then. _Anybody_ can have a larger vision then. _Anybody_ can have faith under those kinds of circumstances. The real challenge of growth, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, comes when you get knocked down. It takes courage to start over again. And I know you have courage, sir. I've seen it. I've seen it in battles, I've seen it in meetings. Hell, I saw it when you were drugged to the gills, unable to see anything around you, but it didn't matter. You'd just fought through half a base of enemies and you were ready to fight your way through the other half, because you were going to get out of there if it killed you.

"This war has been Hell, sir, and I can't begin to imagine what you've faced and what you've suffered. But I know, I _know_ you're stronger than this. I _know_ you're stronger than your fear. I get it; fear is powerful. Fear kills dreams. Fear kills hope. Fear put people in the hospital. Fear can _age_ you, can hold you back from doing something that you know within yourself that you are capable of doing, but it will _paralyze_ you unless you do something about it." He finally released her, taking a step back to give her room, but the look on his face hadn't changed. "You're still here, sir, so I assume you want it."

"I don't-" Kaine started, but her jaw clicked shut when Johnson was suddenly in her face again.

"You want it! And you're gonna go all out to have it. It's not going to be easy, when you want to change. It's not easy; if it were in fact easy, everybody would do it. But if you're serious, you'll go all out. You're in control here. You're not going to let this get you down. You're not going to let this destroy you. You're coming back. And you'll be stronger and better because of it. You have got to make a declaration, that this is what you stand for. You're standing up for your dreams, you're standing up for peace of mind, you're standing up for health. Take full responsibility for your life. Accept where you are, and the responsibility that you're going to take yourself where you want to go. You can decide that I'm going to live each day as if it were my last. Live your life with passion. With some drive. Decide that you're going to push yourself. The last chapter to your life has not been written yet, and it doesn't matter about what happened yesterday. It doesn't matter about what happens to you, what matters is, what are you going to do about it?!"

The silence stretched, tense and uncomfortable as the redhead stared up at the older man. There was no answer she could give, and she knew it. The Sergeant hadn't said a word she didn't already know or agree with, but she'd never been confronted by it in such a way. She knew she gave off an air of danger that kept most people at arms length, but this Marine before had just burst through every wall she had, telling her exactly what she needed to hear and what everyone else was too afraid to say.

A loud beeping sound suddenly went off, making both soldiers jump in surprise. Kaine was about to go for her pager when Johnson suddenly pulled out his and looked at the screen. "Looks like some panty-waisted officer is complaining about my training methods," he said dryly, slipping the device back into his pocket. The look he speared the redhead with, though, was just as hard as ever. "Remember what I said, Commander. You're going to get through this, if your ODSTs, Spartan, and I have to drag you through. Just remember what my grandmother always told me. 'To persevere, I think, is important for everybody. Don't give up, don't give in. There's always an answer to everything.'" With his piece apparently spoken, the Marine turned and left, taking only a second to step into the attached kitchen and leave his mug in the sink.

Kaine stayed where she was, staring at nothing. Even as the sun set and her house was cast into shadows, she remained unmoving. The Sergeant's words were just playing through her mind on a loop, etching themselves into every corner they could reach. To her surprise, they reinforced things that her siblings had told her the entire way back to Earth. "That many people can't be wrong, right?" she finally sighed, slowly getting to her feet and grumbling when she realized how stiff she'd become. "Good god, I'm getting old." Hobbling into the kitchen, she quickly filled her mug with water to soak, noting that Johnson had done the same. Shaking her head fondly, the redhead was just about to walk away when she realized that something was different. Startled it took her a long second to realize what had changed, and when she did she had to double over, she was laughing so hard.

Her hands weren't shaking anymore.

* * *

 _Babble Time: I know, I know, this whole chapter is way too short for such a long break. I apologize profusely. Honestly, this story (actually, all of TBAS) was very nearly discontinued. With life going the way it is, I felt no motivation to write anything and the idea of putting my mind into Halo was...annoying. Luckily for everyone that actually likes this story (so...four of you?) I have my own Johnson to smack me around when I get too far into my Dark Place. They sent me the video 'Unbroken' on Facebook as encouragement, so I decided to make this chapter a tribute to that idea. To that end, most of what Sergeant Johnson says in Kaine's house are direct quotes from Unbroken. I don't know the identities of the actual motivational speakers (if you know, please tell me so I can give them credit) but I hope this chapter can give someone else the motivation to go just one more day._


	11. The Family Condition: Part One

**The Family Condition**

 **Part One**

Time: 1300\

December 21, 2531\

Aboard ODST Command Ship, UNSC _Excalibur_

"Lieutenant!" Kaine tried, she really did, but she couldn't keep the small smile from appearing on her face as she slowed her steps so that O'Brien could catch up with her. There was a part of her that still wasn't sure she'd done the right thing by telling him the truth, but she couldn't take back words and it wasn't like he'd betrayed her in any way. In fact, he'd had more righteous anger on her behalf than she honestly felt for herself. It was...strange, though certainly not unwelcome. "Lieutenant," the male redhead repeated, finally drawing even with her and slightly out of breath. "Commander Faldon wants you to report to his office."

"Why didn't he use the ship intercom to call me?" the taller ODST asked, frowning slightly. It was very unlike her adopted father to interrupt someone's day to do something he was more than capable of doing himself.

"He said he didn't want to announce it to the whole ship," O'Brien replied easily, though the look on his face belied his true feelings. "And he said to tell you that ONI upper echelon is involved."

With those five words, all of Kaine's good feelings were gone, leaving behind an icy void in the center of her chest. When she'd been a child, ONI had been an abstract idea and the agents had been convenient playmates when they'd come to visit. As a Spartan, they became dark and warped, but still almost painfully abstract. But since augmentations...now...

Now...

"Understood, thank you Lance Corporal," she said brusquely, quickly picking up her speed and leaving him behind as she dodged through the hall. Her mind was racing, trying to figure out what was waiting for her. If ONI knew who she was, she was walking straight into a firing squad and Eric, wonderfully naïve Eric, would never know until the damn gun was out and she had a new hole in her head. However, if they didn't know what she was, why would any ONI officer be interested in her at all? So far as anyone knew, she was the bastard daughter of Eric Faldon, had been for years. If this was an inquiry about who or what she was, why had it taken so long?

No matter which way she tried to look at things, this meeting was nothing good.

Squeezing onto a lift that was already moving, the redhead tried to force her body to relax, but it was a pointless attempt. Though she would hate it until her dying day, the Spartan conditioning had been very well thought out and inflicted on all of them. Her mind no longer controlled her body's reaction to imminent danger. All she could do was hope that the cooler parts of her mind would prevail and she'd be able to talk her way out of whatever was waiting at the end of the hall.

The last thing she was expecting was for Eric to be waiting for her when the lift finally stopped on the correct deck. "Kaine," he greeted, a subtle nod that made her relax infinitesimally. Her code name plus the gesture meant that they were relatively safe. ONI must be in one of the rooms then. "I was hoping to talk to you before we joined the meeting," the Commander continued as he started leisurely down the hall, the younger officer falling into step beside him. "Admiral Parangosky herself is here to brief you on the mission you've been chosen for."

"You've got to be joking," Kaine said flatly, coming to a full stop and giving her father a look that was both utter disbelief and mind numbing terror. " _Parangosky_? The absolute head of all of ONI is here to _personally_ brief _me_?! What the hell are they having me do; marry the leader of the Insurrection and slit his throat on our wedding night?"

"No, though the fact that you thought of that at all is highly disturbing," Eric muttered, carefully keeping track of the fear he could clearly see running through her eyes. He'd never known her to be flighty before, but there was a first time for everything. "I've been informed that it is an infiltration mission. You impressed several officers with your work during the mission last month. The Admiral believes you have the right raw abilities to handle this mission as she's concerned a more trained agent would give themselves away." Coming to a stop outside his office, the older human finally turned to look his daughter in the eye. "I know you have certain justified feelings about ONI and all of it's members, but you _will_ conduct yourself properly during this meeting. You're not who you were; you're an ODST officer and my daughter. Act like it."

"Let me get this straight," Kaine said, giving Eric a look that told him just how insane the redhead found him in that moment. "You want me to...play nice with Admiral Parangosky."

"Yes, for lack of better words," the ODST Commander sighed, giving his adopted daughter a dark glare. He wasn't sure why he'd thought the request would be easy in any way. After all, he'd had to listen to more rants during official meetings about the headstrong redhead than about any other member of the UNSC, including Halsey. Why was it so strange to realize the dislike went both ways?

"Look, don't get me wrong," Kaine sighed, leaning against the bulkhead. "I respect Parangosky; she's an amazing officer and has done phenomenal work with ONI. That doesn't change the fact that she is an evil, homicidal, ego-centric, antiquated, psychopathic, granny lady. Besides, she might, _might_ , respect the work I've done with the ODSTs, but she hates me. Besides Lord Hood and Halsey, I'm the only one to ever defy her and walk away."

"That's why I think you'll be fine," Eric argued, irritably. "You've survived this long!"

"You haven't paid any attention to what Parangosky does with her poison stores, have you?" There were no negative emotions on her face as she said it; if anything, she looked almost fond. "But fine, fine, I'll behave myself for this meeting. I cannot promise any more than that, though."

"I'll take what I can get," the elder officer muttered, finally turning back to the door and triggering it open. He didn't mention it when the redhead took a second to take a deep breath, but he felt a surge of pride when she proceeded him into the office, head held high in confidence.

"You're late," Parangosky snapped, not looking up from the pad before her as she read yet another report. Kaine relaxed slightly, knowing that the woman was too wrapped up in whatever issue she was trying to solve to recognize her. At least...for now.

"My apologies, Admiral," she answered clearly and firmly, taking special effort to fully mask her accent. No such thing as too careful when dealing the the leader of the entire Office of Naval Intelligence.

"If I wanted your apologies, I would have asked for them," the elder officer snapped, flicking her gaze over for a fraction of a second before focusing on the pad again. "You've been chosen for a top secret infiltration mission. This mission is long term, insertion into the target's organization. Commander Faldon has assured me that you're up for the task. Is that true?" A million possible answers flashed through Kaine's mind, each progressively more sarcastic than the last. It took a moment to reign everything in and answer neutrally.

"It is, Admiral."

"I doubt that," the older woman sighed, finally setting the pad down and striding over to the desk, irritably gesturing for the ODST to follow her. "The UNSC recently approved a special training and scientific program," she said shortly. "The proposal is sound on paper, but I know the Director in charge. There's something he's not telling us. To that end, I need an agent on the inside that can report the true activities of the members. Your work infiltrating the Insurrection base on Emerald Cove brought you to our attention and all of your trainers agree that you are one of the most elite soldiers in the ODST Corps. As half of the program in question is the training of an elite task force, we'll need your skills to pull this off."

Bitterly thinking about how that explained a lot, Kaine remained silent, looking down at the mess of papers and pads that lay on the desk. Most of the words were clearly written using an ONI cypher that she didn't recognize, but there were also the occasional photos of faces she couldn't place. Members of the program?

"Your task is simple," Parangosky continued. "Get accepted into the program," you call that _simple_ , "integrate yourself with as many levels of the operation as possible," seriously, do you know the meaning of the word 'simple', "send weekly reports on the activities of the organization," how is any of this simple, "and be prepared to eliminate the entire project if they are deemed a threat. Understood?"

"Understood, Admiral," Kaine said calmly, keeping all of this frustration and disbelief buried under as many masks as she could. Suddenly, all those hassled looking agents she'd known as a kid made much more sense. "When do I leave?"

"Immediately," was the answer, a cold smile revealed as the elder officer finally turned to face the redhead. "Welcome to-"

* * *

Time: 1700\

December 24, 2531\

Freelancer Command Base

"-Project Freelancer," Counselor said with a smile, giving Kaine a firm handshake. She tried to smile back, though she wasn't sure how good it was. Her danger instinct was silent, but she couldn't escape the feeling that something was about to go wrong. "I've asked one of our senior agents to show you around the base; you have the rest of the day to settle in before training begins tomorrow."

"Thank you, Counselor," she replied easily, marveling at how different her voice sounded as she employed an accent she barely remembered. Grandfather Terry would probably scream if he could hear her, but he couldn't so she wasn't going to worry about it. "I look forward to learning what you have to teach me." Seriously, there wasn't much she didn't know about combat. Spartan training was rather comprehensive.

"I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised," the man said demurely, so perfectly neutral that she couldn't get a read on how he actually felt. Forget Freelancer training; she wanted this man to teach her how to play poker. "If you have any questions, feel free to ask."

"Only a million," she admitted, allowing her smile to turn sarcastic as she fell into character. "But I'm sure most of them will be answered during the next 24-hours. If any survive into tomorrow, I'll be sure to ask." Neutral smile that tells her nothing. Scary man is scary.

"I look forward to it," he said quietly. "I'm sure the agent is waiting, so I'll let you go." _Let_ her go. Interesting choice of words. Maybe he was more dangerous than she'd originally thought. However, none of her thoughts or feelings showed on her face as she nodded and turned to leave. Despite his words, there was no one waiting in the hall as she stepped out of the office, so she waited a moment for the door to slide shut before taking a deep, shaky breath. Well, step one, infiltrate Project Freelancer, complete.

There was still a part of her mind that was beyond pissed with Admiral Parangosky, but she had to admire the woman's ability. So far as everyone in the project was concerned, she was Kaine Smith, a marine that had been a candidate for the ODSTs but had turned them down. It gave her the mysterious edge that ONI gave to every agent they could while also giving an excellent indication to her skills. The British accent had been her idea and she'd thought the ONI officer was going to have a stroke when she brought it up, but in the end her fake identity had been listed as born and raised in London.

Despite everything, Kaine was no fool. She was well aware that everything could blow up in her face at any second, and the quite buzz of energy under her skin made it clear that she wouldn't be able to walk away from the fallout this mission would cause if botched. That was not something she could risk, so she'd taken every precaution to temporarily cut ties with her past as she could. In fact, she'd gone so far as to have Vincent seal himself with in his chip, completely cut off from her mind and all the technology around him. No matter how helpful his hacking could be, she couldn't risk his voice in her mind or being passed information she shouldn't have. He couldn't come back until she used the digital key, and she'd left that with Eric so she wouldn't be tempted. For better or worse, she was on her own.

"Excuse me?" The redhead looked up sharply, seeing a young man with black hair and vibrant green eyes, almost as deep as hers had once been. "Agent Colorado?"

"That's me," she said easily, mentally making a face at the code name. She was from Verent and occasionally England. Taking the name of an American state didn't sit right.

"Oh thank god," the stranger sighed, a giant grin appearing on his face. "Sorry I'm late; I'm Agent Washington. Counselor asked me to show you around the base and help you settle in."

"In that case, I am your humble servant," Kaine drawled with a sarcastic smile and mocking bow. "Please, lead the way." Washington clearly didn't know how to handle her, if the look on his face was any indication, and she felt bad for a second. The character she'd created in her head had a very sarcastic edge so she couldn't tone it down just yet, but he seemed like a friendly enough person. Making him uncomfortable wasn't her goal.

That tense edge clung to them stubbornly as Washington started showing her around the base; the Freelancer didn't speak a word more than he had to and Kaine had nothing to add to the tour. However, the tension started to dissipate when she tripped over a hidden box in supply and landed face-first into a crate of MREs. She'd always disliked the things for their horrible taste, but apparently they took on the properties of quicksand when in large numbers and Washington had to save her from being sucked into oblivion. There was a strong desire to throw him into the crate herself as he nearly died of laughter, but she squashed the idea and settled for hitting him the face with a bag of dirty laundry.

After that, it was like the two had been friends their entire lives. Washington, or Wash as he'd told her to call him, was actually very chatty and would gossip about the other Freelancers in the project in between pointing out places Kaine would need to know the locations of. In the span of an hour she'd learned that North and South Dakota were siblings, New York was one of the most laid back members of the entire project, South Carolina was a terrifying bitch with a competitive streak that could easily match a Spartan, Maine was a certified Gentle Giant, and the Director was an eccentric man that they rarely saw outside of mission briefings.

"This place sounds more like a circus than a military unit," the redhead muttered, shaking her head in irritation as they finally reached the barracks. "Tell me I don't have to room with any of these psychos."

"Nah, we all have our own rooms," Wash answered easily, having gotten used to her acidic comments over the course of the tour. "Yours is on the third floor, right across the hall from Carolina." Great, she'd be neighbors with the hard-ass bitch. Just what she'd always wanted. "York and I share the hall, but we're on the other end." He gave her a strange look, clearly confused about something. "Counselor always said it was a special floor." That...probably wasn't good.

"Well, I _am_ a special soldier," she smirked, comfortable in the fact that he had no idea how special. "I'm also exhausted, so I'd like to settle in if I could. Dinner is at 1830, correct?"

"That's right," Wash smiled. "You're picking up on the schedule pretty fast. Come on; the lift to the personal quarters is right up ahead." Wondering if she should tone down her eidetic memory, Kaine followed as he stopped at the lift doors and pushed the call button. "You remember how to get to the dining hall?"

"Pretty sure," she shrugged, ignoring the mental map she'd made that told her exactly how many meters away she was from the location in question. "If I get lost, I'll just check the map on the wall." Chuckling quietly, Wash settled for shaking his head. She was glad that he was getting comfortable with her, but she felt a twinge of concern as well. Parangosky's words still echoed in her mind, cold and final in a way she couldn't ignore. _Be prepared to eliminate the entire project if they are deemed a threat_. Could she do that?

Did she have a choice?

The lift finally arrived, sliding open silently. However, there was already someone inside. Kaine noticed the blue armor first, wondering why the color choice, but when she glanced up at the exposed face of the soldier it felt like time itself had come to a screeching halt. "Carolina!" Wash said, obvious joy as he stepped onto the lift. "Perfect timing. This is Agent Colorado; she's going to be sharing our floor." The sound of her code name snapped the ODST back into reality and she reluctantly stepped into the lift, unable to take her gaze off the woman before. Pale skin, though still darker than any Spartan. Green eyes that leaned more to yellow than they had as a child. And hair that was absolutely no different from her own.

Lillian.

"Welcome to the Freelancers," her twin said, clearly not caring that she was there at all. "Rule number one, stay out of my way. If you'll excuse me," the lift came to another stop, "I actually have work to do." Kaine could only watch as her sister strode away, perfectly comfortable in the armor she was wearing. Suddenly, the mission had become damn near impossible.

"Sorry about her," Wash apologized as the lift resumed moving. "She can be...snappish when she is busy. And she's always been a bit testy around this time of year."

"You've known her for a while, then," the redhead said, voice not betraying how numb and shocked she felt. "I was under the impression that the program had started recently."

"It has," he agreed easily, fiddling with his Magnum. "Carolina, York, and I have been together for a while. Came together about four years ago when we were looking for some answers. The Director found us and offered us a place in the program."

"Answers?" Kaine echoed, glancing at him and noticing the frown. "If you're looking for the answer to life, it's 42."

"God, you're ancient," the Freelancer snorted, frown morphing into a smile. "That wasn't the answer we were seeking, though." The ODST wanted to press, but the expression on his face convinced her to hold her tongue. Damn if he didn't look like Fred just then. Same hair, same jawline, and same cooky personality. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't miss her family, but being around Wash was going to be torture if she couldn't convince herself that he wasn't somehow related to her favorite brother. "Come on then!" her guide suddenly chirped, startling her as he nearly skipped out of the still lift. "Your room is down this way." Following slowly, the redhead felt the quiet buzz under her skin slowly die down. Good to know she was relatively safe _somewhere_ in the damn death trap. "Here it is," Wash announced, coming to a stop before the door farthest from the lift. "The key pad should already be attuned to your DNA, so just touch it and the door will open. Everyone else, other than the Director, will need your permission to enter."

"You people take your privacy seriously," she drawled, stepping forward easily and brushing against the indicated pad. Sure enough, the door slid open silently, revealing a simple room that was honestly more than she'd expected. Something about everything she'd seen was giving her a bad feeling about the project. Maybe Parangosky wasn't as paranoid as she'd originally thought.

"Nah, it's just this floor," he answered easily, leaning against the doorway as the redhead slowly inspected her new quarters. "Like I said, everyone here is special. We don't have inspections, we don't have a set lights-out, and the Director rarely comes by." There was that strange note in his voice again, like he wasn't sure he liked that she was with them. Made sense, if what he said about the three previous tenants having known each other before the program started. Though, that begged the question of why she was assigned to their floor.

"Does the Director assign rooms?" she asked nonchalantly, inspecting the small kitchenette that was in the corner of the room. Everything she could possibly need was provided; what the hell sort of game was the program playing? This was more like an apartment than a military quarters.

"He assigned us," Wash replied, still leaning against the wall and watching her. It made her uncomfortable; he clearly wasn't the goof he portrayed himself as. Despite first impressions, she wouldn't be able to drop her guard around him. "However, F.I.L.S.S. was the one to put you with us." Phyllis? Oh, the AI that Counselor had spoken to. That...didn't bode well.

"Guess I need to live up to her expectations, then," Kaine joked, smiling at the unusually serious Freelancer and getting a small smile back. "Thanks for the tour, Wash, but as my luggage has already been delivered, I'd like to settle in. I'll see you at dinner?"

"Sure," he said, nearly rolling off the wall. "In fact, I have stuff to do in my room, so just knock when you're heading up and I'll join you." It sounded like a friendly offer, but it made the redhead glare inwardly. He didn't trust her...maybe she was being paranoid but her Grandmother had always said it was better to be slightly distrustful than fully idiotic.

"Will do," she smiled, watching carefully as he nodded and left, the door finally sliding shut. A heartbeat more to ensure that the room was completely sealed before she groaned and fell back on the bed, feeling the frame shake from her weight. "If I get out of this alive I'm going to ensure that ONI headquarters only gets decaf coffee for the next year," she growled, keeping her voice pitched low to avoid any hidden mics from picking it up. The danger sense was quiet, but she wasn't entirely sure she could trust it. After all, her twin would be living right across the bloody hall from her. And how the hell had she not been recognized?! Sure, her eyes were silver and she was tall and pale and had scars and...okay, maybe that was how. She didn't exactly look like Klare McCoy should have looked.

Though that raised another question that she wrestled with as she rolled back off the bed and started unpacking. What was Lillian doing in a military program? Sure, the Freelancer was also scientific, but what self-respecting scientist would have a code name and wear armor that was so obviously modeled off the Spartan's MJOLNIR? No, Lills was in the military part of the program, but why? She'd never shown any interest whenever their mother had talked about her time in the Marines. Kaine would have bet her life that her twin had absolutely no interest in becoming a soldier or being part of any strict organization, which the military certainly was. Clearly, she'd been wrong.

Even knowing she'd had a damn good reason for sealing him away, she bitterly snarled that Vincent would come in handy just then. He could have just hacked in and read Lillian's file to discover why she'd joined; it was standard interview process to ask why the candidate wanted to join the program. Hell, she'd been asked it and given some bullshit answer she couldn't remember.

But maybe Lills hadn't been asked. The Director had approached her, Wash, and York separately from the other Freelancers. Different recruitment, different treatment, so maybe a different interview process? Dammit, she needed answers! However, as the newest member, she couldn't risk hacking just yet. Let them get used to her, let her become nothing more than a background noise, and then she could start digging. Until then, she'd just have to be patient.

She hated being patient.

It hadn't even been a full thirty minutes before there was a knock on the door, startling the redhead as she finished putting away the books that she'd brought. The sound was loud and confidant; someone who felt they had every right to be there. However, the door remained stubbornly shut, so it wasn't the elusive Director. Wash? She had another fifteen minutes before she was supposed to meet him. Lillian had made it clear she didn't care that the new member even existed, so the odds of her being at the door were minimum. Which left the rest of the program, but who would be on this specific floor?

Another knock prompted Kaine to rise and answer, blinking in surprise as the door slid open and revealed another familiar face. Grace...except a boy. Was there some secret Spartan cloning project she hadn't been told about? First Wash looking like Fred and now this unknown person looking like Grace. They could almost be siblings...oh. Oh no.

"So you're the mysterious Colorado," the man said, smile firmly on his face and completely unaware of her inner screams of terror/frustration. What cosmic entity did she piss off so badly?! "I'm New York; nice to meet you." He offered a hand and it took a second to remember that manners dictated she shake it. "Wash said you were planning to meet up for dinner and I finished my stuff early so I thought I'd accompany you two."

"I wasn't going to head down for a couple more minutes, but thank you for the offer," she managed to get out, quickly stifling the thoughts that were rising up in her. What were the odds that three siblings of Spartans would find each other and go on a quest for 'answers'? They had to be super low, right? Right?

"I can wait," the older man said, still smiling but there was an edge that bothered her. At least Lillian had been blunt with her dislike of the redhead; her other floor mates apparently thrived on looking friendly as they held a knife behind their backs. Curse Parangosky forever for choosing Kaine for this mission! "Besides, gives me time to get to know my new teammate."

"I wasn't aware we'd been assigned to the same team," the undercover ODST drawled, finally returning to her room to finish putting her personal affects away. She could feel eyes on her as she moved, but made sure to project the appearance of utter calm. "Actually, I was under the impression that teams shifted around."

"For the most part," York admitted, still sounding cheerful. "But the Freelancers that share floors tend to get lumped together so far. So since you live here, we're going to be working together more often than not." Cheery words, but Kaine was pretty sure she wasn't imagining the frost that lay just beneath the tone. He wasn't happy about her inclusion.

"Maybe things will change once the Project begins in earnest," she replied easily, turning to give him a smile as though she couldn't feel his distrust. "Counselor mentioned that I was the last Agent they needed before things could get serious."

"True enough," the Freelancer agreed, finally starting to relax. Maybe he just needed proof that she wasn't a spy? Which...she was, but he didn't need to know that. "Guess we'll see. We should also get moving; we need to be first in line if we want any dessert."

"Didn't peg you for having a sweet tooth," the redhead remarked casually as she grabbed the blouse for the Freelancer uniform, noting that it wasn't very different from the uniform of standard Marines. She'd seen the clothes in her mom's closet enough to be intimately aware of how they were fashioned.

"I don't," York confirmed with a fond roll of his eyes. "Wash, on the other hand, basically lives on sugar and I don't want to deal with him on another withdrawal. Besides, Carolina is probably waiting for us." The mention of her sister triggered a frown on Kaine's face, and the Freelancer caught it. "I take it you've met Carolina, then." She nodded tightly. "Let me guess; she was rude and short and entirely dismissive." Another nod. "Sorry about her; she gets this way around this time of year."

"Wash said the same," the spy admitted, finally realizing that she was stalling and confidently striding from her room, not twitching as York fell into step beside her. "She doesn't like the holidays?" There was no answer forthcoming and when she looked back she caught the edges of a dark and dangerous look. Clearly a sensitive topic, and she wisely chose to drop it. The silence had barely had time to settle before there was a happy call from the end of the hall as Wash exited his room. A short moment later the two males were happily chatting with each other as Kaine followed them into the lift, taking care to keep to the side and not interrupt them. She almost didn't need to bother as she had been promptly forgotten and merely tailed after the pair as they made their way to the chow hall.

Sure enough, Carolina was waiting for them, a look of deep exasperation and slight irritation nearly tattooed on her face. The glare she leveled at the new redhead was enough to have the spy lift her hands in surrender and wander off, quickly grabbing a tray and going down the line as fast as she could to leave the trio their space. They weren't the first to arrive but there only appeared to be a couple others, so there was no shortage to the food she had to choose from. Something about the selection nagged at her mind, but she didn't have the time or inclination to figure things out. She just grabbed and ran.

Obviously not knowing anyone in the hall, Kaine chose a table close to the corner and rather isolated, though it also put her almost uncomfortably close to the massive Christmas tree that towered over everything. With the rest of the base nearly devoid of decorations, it made sense that they'd go all out on the one corner reserved for the holiday. There were even presents scattered under the branches, though more would likely appear before breakfast the next day. Would the Director even hold training on a holiday?

Not that any of it mattered, she stubbornly told herself as she sat down and started eating. Christmas was just another day to train or get shot at, depending on her missions on the day. The human obsession of the holiday irritated her. One would think a species would move beyond a holiday after a few centuries, but nooo. Frustrating didn't quite sum it up.

"So you're the new girl," a voice said, startling the redhead from her thoughts as she looked up sharply. A blonde woman in purple armor was looking down at her, a slight sneer on her face. "You don't look that impressive."

"Looks can be deceiving," Kaine answered smoothly, noting the man standing behind her abuser, realizing he had to be related considering how similar they appeared. "For example, you do not look intelligent, and yet you are capable of forming complete sentences so I must assume that I was mistaken." Ah, there's the outrage she figured would come. That was pathetically easy.

"I'm going to pretend that didn't happen," the male said, setting his tray down across from the spy and sitting with a smile. "I'm North Dakota and that's my sister, South. Please forgive her; she hasn't learned how to use her brain-to-mouth filter."

"Colorado," the ODST introduced herself, offering a hand that was accepted and shaken. "And there's no need to apologize for actions that are not your own. I'm sure that South Dakota and I will eventually reach an understanding once she realizes that I can insult as fast as she can." That seemed to snap the standing female out of her shock and she snarled before stomping away, sending soldiers scrambling. "Oops, I seem to have angered her." And failed to actually sound upset about it.

"That's not a difficult feat," North sighed, watching his sister worriedly for a moment but not getting up to follow her. "Guess we'll see if she ever forgets this."

"I won't be broken-hearted if she doesn't," the redhead pointed out as she took a sip from her glass, pulling a face at the taste. Did these people even clean the glasses before placing them back out? Because that did not taste like pure water.

"You know, most new people try to make friends, not enemies," the blonde male pointed out, not sounding accusing or judgmental. In fact, he sounded as neutral as though he were informing her that the planet orbited around the sun.

"Most new people actually give a shit about fitting in and climbing ladders," she countered, deciding to give up on the water and focus on the food that was passable, if a little bland. "I'm here to learn, train, and kick ass. We're all the same rank, with the same clearance and privileges so there's no need to deal with internal politics or social niceties. Which means I can be as acidic as I want and not worry about being punished." The expression she was given showed that North didn't agree, but he didn't press. Instead, the pair ate in silence, watching as other soldiers and Freelancers trickled in. The room was soon filled with the quiet chatter of people enjoying the last meal of the day and the atmosphere was relaxed.

Well, it was so long as the table that held Carolina, Washington, and New York were ignored. The air there was nearly toxic, sending anyone unlucky enough to stumble into the circle nearly fleeing for their lives. It was a mystery Kaine was reluctant to release, though she could tell that North was watching her closely and probably well aware of the questions she wanted to ask.

"I don't know everything," he suddenly said, apparently coming to the decision to answer her silent request. "They're a pretty private group, but from what I've heard, they met as teenagers trying to learn the truth about why certain family members of theirs died." Dammit, she hated being right. "Rumor is that they traveled for a few years, even joining the Insurrection," _that_ was new, "before Carolina was approached by the Director to join the Program. She agreed, on the provision that her friends were allowed in as well, and the rest is history. The rest of us have been collected from different places, but those three are deeper than any of us."

"No wonder they're upset that I'm on their floor," the redhead muttered, noticing the lack of surprise on the man's face. He already knew. Good to know the grapevine was alive and well, even in a new place. "Any idea why Carolina is grumpier right now? Both of the boys mentioned it had something to do with this time of year."

"Just rumor," North shrugged, tearing his roll into pieces as he avoided her gaze. "Most popular is that the family member she's trying to learn the truth about died on Christmas Day." Oh...shit. That would actually make sense. ONI always complained that Parangosky became unbearable during the Christmas season and Eric often muttered the same about Admiral Hood. If the clone really had died on Christmas, it would have ruined the holiday for the entire family.

"Hey Colorado!" Kaine glanced over her shoulder, seeing Wash standing beside the tree, a strange smile on his face. "Come on; you need to hang an ornament and pick a present."

"I've been on base for a grand total of three hours," she argued, though she still rose to her feet and moved to join him. It hadn't taken long to learn that, when it came to the raven-haired man, it was easier to go with whatever he was suggesting. "Pretty sure I have no ornament, and I definitely don't have a present."

"You make the ornament, genius," the man she was tentatively calling a friend said, rolling his eyes as he gestured to the nearby table that had all the material needed to make a mess. "And Counselor made sure that every Agent had at least one present under the tree. You're the newest, so we decided you should pick from the Agent pile first." Unexpected, and not entirely welcome, but she couldn't exactly say that, so she settled for nodding and approaching the craft table. Her lip curled at the mess, but it didn't take long to find the wire and the tools needed to work it. She wasn't even aware of what her hands were doing until she heard Wash whistle quietly. Looking down, she had to pause when she recognized the symbol she'd worked the wires into and a soft huff that was as real a laugh as she had anymore escaped her.

Of course she'd made the Spartan symbol. Not the one assigned by the UNSC, but the one that they'd chosen themselves. An olive branch, shaped like laurels but just a single branch. Peace and victory, rolled into one.

Damn, but she missed them.

"Will it suffice?" she asked aloud, finishing the last of the leaves before snipping off the final wire. Distantly, she had to admit that it was pretty. Silver wires for the center branch and gold wire for the leaves. Silver and gold...oh fate, it was just like that old Christmas song Grandfather Terry was always singing.

"I think it might be the only one we don't throw away," Wash answered, a hidden note in the back of his throat as he gave her a considering look. However, it vanished quickly as his expression shifted back to childlike glee. "Well, go on! Stick it on the tree!" The sarcastic comment was on her tongue instantly, but she held it in and obeyed, picking a free branch and not noticing the neighboring ornament until she'd released her own. A small wreath with a picture of a redheaded child in the center. Fuck.

Wanting to escape as fast as she could, Kaine quickly snatched a present from the largest pile, correctly assuming it was for the agents, and returned to her seat as Wash called the others up. Watching everyone grabbing presents and laughing with each other, she couldn't help but remember what the holiday had been like back on Verent. Especially her last one...

" _Lillian Terra McCoy, get down here this instant!" Sighing in frustration, Klare glanced at the house for a moment before returning to her dejected swinging in the garden. The air was a bit chilled, but there was no snow to be seen, despite the fact that it was Christmas Eve. Just another thing to add to the list of what was wrong that year._

 _Things just didn't feel right. Grandmother and Grandfather weren't going to be able to visit, mom and dad were fighting about if mom would reenlist, and Lillian was in one of her moods that meant she was pissing off everyone she could. Christmas shouldn't be like this, but what could she do? No one listened to her. Which was why she'd exiled herself to the garden while her father and Lillian proceeded to scream abuse at each other._

" _So this is where you got to." The redhead looked up sharply, surprised to see her mother standing nearby, a gentle smile on her face. Klare had always thought that her mother was the most beautiful person in the universe, with her golden hair and bright green eyes. She knew that the woman wasn't perfect, especially with her temper, but she was still the best mother on any world. "You forgot your coat," the angel continued, coming forward and picking up her child before sitting on the wooden swing herself to slowly rock her. "Did the fighting become too much?"_

" _I don't like yelling," the younger muttered, turning to bury her face in her mother's coat._

" _I guess that means you're not going to be a soldier when you grow up," Allison joked, laughing when her daughter shook her head emphatically. "What do you want to be, then?"_

" _A chef," Klare answered promptly, looking up to smile. "I get to make yummy things and make people happy."_

" _A worthy goal," her mother replied, nodding sagely. "I'm sure you'll be famous in no time." Despite knowing it wouldn't work like that, the redhead was pleased that someone believed in her that much. "Are you ready to go back inside, dear one?" A sudden crash and screech from the house answered that inquiry. "Sometimes I wonder how many children I actually have," Allison muttered, glaring at the direction of the noise before deciding to actually swing instead of just rocking back and force. "You are more mature than your father."_

" _Because I'm like you," was the blunt reply, and Klare had to smile when her mother broke out laughing. Her mother didn't laugh very much anymore, what with her fighting with dad all the time, so it always made her happy to bring the woman joy. "Mom, why doesn't it feel like Christmas this year?"_

" _You've noticed that too, huh?" Allison sighed, glancing up at the overcast sky. "I'm not sure, little one. Some years just go like this. Mother always used to call them the Year of the Grinch." She laughed as Klare gave her a look of disbelief. "Yes, Grandmother Parangosky actually knows ancient Christmas stories and is capable of cracking jokes. But you didn't hear that from me, right?"_

" _Of course not."_

" _Very good." Smiling fondly, the blonde nuzzled her daughter's hair, enjoying the happy squeal she received. "Klare, I want you to remember something." Those big green eyes blinked up at her, filled with the light and innocence that came with childhood. "Grinch Years come and go, and there's nothing you can do to stop them. Goodness knows, I've tried. But whenever these years came around when I was a kid, Mother would have me recite an old rhyme from an ancient movie. 'As long as there's Christmas, I truly believe, that hope is the greatest of the gifts we'll receive. As long as there's Christmas, we'll all be just fine. There'll always be Christmas, so there always will be a time when the world is filled with peace and love.' Can you remember that?"_

" _Yes, mom," Klare promised, feeling a bit better. That was a rhyme that she'd remember all of her life._

"There'll always be Christmas, right?" Kaine sighed, looking up at the large tree. It certainly didn't feel like it. Another Grinch Year, then. Seemed like that was all she'd had since that first one. In fact, she hadn't even tried to think about that rhyme since her first year with the Spartans. How strange, then, that it would come back as she spent the holiday with a family that no longer knew her and away from the family she really wanted.

Glancing over to her sister, the redhead felt the first stirrings of sadness. Lillian was sitting away from everyone, curled into a ball and staring out the window. A single present remained in the space for Agents, rejected, and no one seemed very surprised. In fact, they were all giving her a wide berth. And somehow, that just wouldn't do, so the spy got back on her feet and approached the silent Freelancer, snagging the last gift as she passed the tree. She knew that she was being watched, by Wash and York especially, but all of that was ignored as she finally came to a stop before the hermit. It took a moment before she was spared a glance, but once she was she offered the gift. For a very long moment, it looked like she would be rejected, so she quietly said, "As long as there's Christmas, I truly believe, that hope is the greatest of the gifts we'll receive. As long as there's Christmas, we'll all be just fine. There'll always be Christmas, so there always will be a time when the world is filled with peace and love." A long pause. Then...

"My Grandma used to say that," Lillian whispered, looking at the present and not the person holding it. "A way to beat Grinch Years."

"My mother taught it to me," Kaine admitted back, still offering the gift. "Got me through some tough years; thought it might help." There was no answer to that, but eventually her twin accepted the wrapped offering. She didn't even complain when the newest Agent sat beside her, quietly opening her present. An appreciative snort when the gift was revealed to be a Magnum, the latest model in fact, and colored red and black. A hint of what her armor would be like? Sheesh, can you say stereotypical? But the crinkle of paper beside her distracted the younger redhead, and she glanced over in time to see Lillian pull a puzzle box out of the wrappings. It only took the older twin a minute to figure it out and open the container, removing the tech devices that would, undoubtably, prove beyond useful, but she didn't toss the box away as many likely expected she would. Instead, she examined it closely before tucking it into the bag she carried around.

Then, sitting up at last, she looked Kaine straight in the eye and offered a hand. "Welcome to Project Freelancer." The spy stared at the hand for a long moment, debating if she could actually follow through with her mission before deciding it didn't matter. It wasn't a Freelancer before her; it was her sister. Parangosky would just have to deal. She took the hand.

"It's good to be here."

* * *

 _Babble Time: Okay, okay, I know this is a huge deviation from what most of you probably expected. I'd apologize, but I'm having too much fun. Red-vs-Blue is just so ridiculous when compared to the rest of Halo, and I seriously want to see how Kaine does when thrust into that world. And I'm sorry, but Carolina was just so perfect as Lillian, I was compelled to try. Not sure how long/far I can take this, but I'm willing to hang on for the ride. How about you?_


	12. Author's Note

Hello everyone! It has recently come to my attention that many of you have alerted or favorited this story and are eagerly awaiting me to post the next chapter. Sadly, that day will never come. To Be A Spartan, in all forms, has come to an end. It's been an amazing ride and I've loved this story, but too many issues were starting to develop and I was struggling with showing how large the story had grown when it started so painfully small. Characters that I never meant to use again have developed, my timeline is better set, various events formed that needed to be set in time I'd already covered...gah, it was insane! Eventually, I knew that I couldn't continue as I'd started.

That's not to say that I'm giving up. Rather, I am completely rewriting the entire series under a new name: A Soldier's Heart. This new, reworked version is being posted on Archive of Our Own under the same author name, because Fanfiction and I have some unsolvable issues with each other. Updates aren't as fast as I'd like, I admit, but I'm hopeful that they'll pick up soon. So, if you enjoyed To Be A Spartan, please head over to Archive and you'll be able to read it all in an improved and more in-depth story.

Thank you all so much for the support you've given over the years for the story. It truly has kept me going, and I will be eternally grateful. *bows* I hope to hear from you on A Soldier's Heart, but if I don't, thank you for your time and may you have a blessed life.


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